Dating thread 77

[neiljames77]

Just got in from my holiday and saw that 76 was full.

But I've read that statistically, you messaging the man first leads to a much higher outcome of actual relationships. Apparently studies have been done which prove this.

That's interesting lottie. Maybe I should try it.

Yes, definitely do - I used to be of the same mindset but I think however attractive you are not everyone will return your messages but some certainly will!

Have just caught up....

Folk - the bloke is a dick. He's messing with your head on purpose. He's cruel and manipulative. I trust you're not going there again? Prick.

Hissy - could he be married??

I thought that about Hissy's guy - could well be married. I was once taking to someone years ago. Suddenly he disappeared. A quick google turned up pictures of him with wife and toddler dd.

lottie that is really interesting... And totally against what is usually do!
I'm going to leave the ball in his court now, but while it protects me from rejection it also big-time messes with your head! A RL friend is begging me to just ask him out and 'force his hand', she says at least I'll know... But as far as I'm concerned, an ignored text says just as much...
I'll keep you posted, thanks for all the advice.
Been OD for a year and hoping against hope it'll get easier but it never does.

Folk how awful! That man does not deserve you at all!

Hissy how upsetting for you

So I put the tinder app onto my phone last night and now I want to take it off, but I'm not sure how I accidentally clicked yes to someone who should definitely have been a no and now he keeps sending messages, I don't know how to turn my yes to a no on there, in fact I can't really work it out at all...

You can block someone on Tinder, Tis

Oh my lots been going on since I was last here :-(hope everyone is ok.wrt tinder just click the 3 dots and unmatch or delete account,I might pop back later feeling a bit meh just now .not that anyone will remember me lol

Yeah you unmatch them on Tinder and to get rid of it on iphone you just hold down the app link!

Hey, i'm back. I'm fine. Still confused ad a bit flat.

I just don't understand how, if it's a waste of time from the outset, surely it's his time he's wasted.

I thought about the married thing, but genuinely didn't think that was likely.

I look at the message he sent me after telling me he wanted to see me, how he wanted me to watch him play, that he'd come off OKC if I wanted him to. He said that, he did. Then I read the one sent this morning. Does, Not, compute.

Relationship/married? Maybe.

He asked for 'a photo' I said that i'd not be comfortable with that at this juncture.

He did go on a bit about it, but seemed to accept it when I said I couldn't/wouldn't.

I say a bit, it was a good 90min conversation, he repeated it 3 times.

i posted on here the other day about a guy i wasnt sure was into me or not. well now i think.i.know for sure. afyer he asked could i meet tomorrow n i said yes what time. i had no reply for days until i text him today asking if he was still free. i.got 2 short replies: '2 oclock' n 'ill call.you tomorrow'. with one kiss haha - rejected! why not be upfront instead of acting like a dick until i get the message! infuriating!

oh folk what a complete toss pot !! before has put it all very well the type of man twat he is. . He wants you to beg and agree to his conditions. .. The more I read , the more singledom seems so much easier ...

I've just started reading a book called 'your voice in my head.' My friend said one of the men in it would remind me of Geeky. I'd recommend it.

'Are you mine?'
Yes.
'Are you mine?'
Yes.
'Are you mine?'
No.
'No?'
No. I loved being yours. But now I'm mine, which is all I ever was, in the end.'

So true. I don't know what lies ahead for me, or for any of us. But that will always be true.

Well, I'm back from my date with Walt ... and he was absolutely lovely! Attractive, fanciable, lovely to talk to, intelligent and interesting, sweet-natured ... just my type. We chatted for 4 hours and never ran out of conversation, and we've tentatively arranged to meet again in 2 weeks (which is the next time we're both child-free).

Oh excellent stuff AndCat!

Thanks dont. Now I have 2 weeks of looking forward to seeing him (and hoping he doesn't meet anyone he likes more than me in the meantime!)

oh this thread is so helpful!

After the last email, I didn't hear from him for a couple of hours. I replied to him telling him that I thought he was right and that, as much as I wanted it to, there were a number of reasons why it wasn't going to work. And I thanked him for the many lovely memories I will take with me from this. (And I really will)

He replied and said we both felt the same so all we could do was get over it and he'd also take good memories from it.

20 minutes later, he emailed to tell me he felt terrible and wondered if it was a mistake because he still loves me.

And then 20 minutes later, again to tell me that he won't contact me agin and doesn't want me to contact him.

I feel sad and broken and exhausted

But no. Not going there again.

Oh Folk. I guess all you can do now is take care of yourself. Keep those good memories, it was real and wonderful for a time. Sometimes people behave inexplicably in the final throes of a relationship. Protect yourself x

Oh Folk. I guess all you can do now is take care of yourself. Keep those good memories, it was real and wonderful for a time. Sometimes people behave inexplicably in the final throes of a relationship. Protect yourself x

folk he sounds very very messed up.. He really doesn't know what he wants, but you can not be hanging around waiting for him to decide! enjoy the memories , take a break away from dating and enjoy yourself. . you so deserve it.

Folk, the way he's going backwards and forwards must be so difficult for you. It really seems as if he doesn't know his own mind at the moment. As others have said, I think you've handled this with so much dignity.

Thanks dont.

I think this is the first time I've ever ended a relationship when I still felt as strongly as I do for the other person, but when I recognised that the relationship itself was wrong.

I guess that must be progress, right?

But it just feels so counter intuitive. All I want to do is email him and tell him the whole thing has been a big mistake, drive over there and hold him. I want to see him and touch him. I just want to look into his eyes one more time. Last night feels like it was such a wasted opportunity.

I'm not so daft as to think I'll never get over it. (This too shall pass, after all...) but I wish it could have worked and been better. There's so much around me to remind me of him. That's the hardest thing, I think.

But I have to keep re-reading Before's post from earlier. He is self centred and 'entitled'. The reality is that he would still expect me to drive over to him. And he still wouldn't be on contact as much as I'd like. And he would still have issues with some of my friends...