We are having a sex problem

[ChickDaney]

Some info: my H and I have been together for 5 years married for 2.5 no children yet

We have not had sex since last Monday so 6 days. We can't have PIV sex at the moment because i'm late for my depo injection (you have to get it every 12 weeks and I couldn't get an appointment until tomorrow which will be 13) and you cant have sex (protected or not) after that time because they won't give it to you if there's even a 1% chance of pregnancy. Trust me I've been there.

so - no sex until after the injection. DH has been moody and not really talking to me pretty much all of the day due to me not wanting to have the "other kinds" of sex last night. TBF I was pretty shirty after the second no and told him to basically get off and stop groping me.

I had finally had enough of the atmosphere and we've had a massive row. He says that he feels like I don't want him. He understands we can't have PIV sex but thinks we should still be able to do "other stuff". My response is I don't like oral and never have (receiving or giving) and if he wants to masturbate go ahead i'm fine and would rather wait. Obviously i'm paraphrasing I'm pretty sure I said "For fucks sake go and have a fucking wank" at least once.

If you have got this far - the result of the row was this - I will research sex that doesn't involve PIV to see if there is anything I would like to try and he will try not to make me feel like shit when I dont want to have sex. So PLEASE help by

1. Sex ideas that dont involve PIV or oral
2. Ideas about how can he not create an atmosphere if he is feeling like I don't want him (Kisses, hugs and telling him don't count)

Can you give him a hand job?

give him a blow up doll
... and tell him she's was wanting to meet a big cock

Researching sex

Yy

Six days and he's chucking his toys out of the pram? You don't have a sex problem I'm afraid, you have an 'I'm married to an unreasonable idiot' problem

6 days!! And he's having a strop!? Oh fgs tell him to grow up

X post

He should have taken his bloody hands off you after the first "no". You either do or do not want intimacy and he's not entitled to it when you don't. If you did want intimacy you wouldn't need a "how to" guide to find other non-penetrative things you could do.

"He thinks we should still be able to do "other stuff"

Well, yes. But only if both partners are willing. Giving him oral or a wank isn't his second-class prize for not having PIV. What he really meant was "you should be giving me X and I'm going to sulk and be resentful until you do"

I may be completely unimaginative, or less experienced than I flatter myself to be, but the first thing that comes to mind is mutual masturbation. That can be pretty thrilling when it's the right time and place.

So the onus is on you to do some research in order to stop him from acting like a big baby and feeling the need to assault you when you say no?

It doesn't matter about the circumstances with the depo. Your "no" on its own should be sufficient.

Oh dear, don't have kids, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times we had sex in the first 6 months year

What would he do if he was on a business trip (my husband does 3 week trips about once/twice a year?

Or if one of you had flu for a week, or a broken ankle (that was several weeks before we managed it)

he sounds 16

You might want to tell him to get a grip - when you have a baby you could end up going a heck of a lot longer without sex and you might be too bloody tired to want to bother with 'satisfying' him in other ways.

6 days? And it's because of a medical reason? He needs to grow the fuck up. Does he think his penis is going to shrivel up and drop off?

We have always had a lot of sex. Twice daily before dc. When I had ds I had lots of medical issues and we didn't have sex for 3 months. At all. Now 2 years on its more like 2 or 3 times a week but the last 2 weeks nothing because I've been worn out.

It just depends. Surely that's normal in any relationship. You ebb and flow. Not sulk and moan.

6 days? and you think you have a problem. Sorry OP get real. It's hardly a chapter out of your life.
Give the guy some oral and accept a bit of cunnilingus in exchange, you might even enjoy it.
It's about give and take, FFS some couple endure years without sex, doesn't mean they don't love each other. Consider yourself blessed.

I'm with all the other posters. He's being ridiculous. 6 days!!! Ffs.

I'm surprised at posters telling op to offer some other sort of sex to keep her dh happy. Are we in the 1950s?

Ummm, at the risk of stating the flaming obvious - could you not just use condoms for the interim period?

Oops, skim read OP - it does say 'protected or not'

shuffles off

Ignore upup's advice, what a load of sexist, demeaning twaddle. Do something intimate to someone, and have something intimate done to you, just to appease the sulking of another adult? Fuck that for a game of soldiers. There should be no 'you might even like it' about sex, you should pnly ever do or not do what you want and like. Don't ever do something you don't want.

He sounds pathetic, controlling, entitled and sexist. You don't exist to service his sexual needs. And your go and have a wank advice was spot-on.

Have literally laughed out loud thank you people.

This is basically my viewpoint "I don't want to have sex" = "she doesn't want to have sex oh well that sucks I suppose I'll watch the telly"

His is "I don't want to have sex" = "Why doesn't she want to have sex with me doesn't she fancy me? Well I feel like shit now and I can't hide it"

No, I don't really want to give him a hand job but I suppose there's no reason I cant. Except I don't want to. But I don't want him to be unhappy either.

Seriously, upup? You think that she should "consider herself blessed" and perform a sex act on him that she does not want to do?

The only advice you need is the number of a solicitor - why on earth you would put up with someone who gets in a strop if he/she doesn't have sex.

So the onus is on you to do some research in order to stop him from acting like a big baby and feeling the need to assault you when you say no?

This ^^

Oh, and don't have children. Or ever go through bereavements, financial problems, depression, difficult working situations, or basically anything that stops you acting like a blow-up doll. Because your 'relationship' will implode, by the looks of it.

'Consider yourself blessed'?? Another FFS.

"But I don't want him to be unhappy either."

And that's your role in life is it? Keeping this man happy?... Please don't produce children with someone who is so unreasonable after just a few days without sex because you'd be in for a world of strops and sulks. And please don't dedicate your life to making an unreasonable man happy... it's a mug's game.