Threesome advice

[naicesex]

Recently, both DH and I have been thinking of having a threesome with another man. Quite nervous about the idea in actuality but loved the fantasy.

In the last week a man (quite by chance) has entered my life who I have really clicked with. I like him a lot and would really like to be the third person. He has agreed in principle to this.

Can anyone offer any sane and sound advice regarding threesomes?

I'm not a troll and this is a genuine question.

ohforfoxache I wholeheartedly agree with your post. Why is there so much intolerance?!

I don't want to scare you op, but did you know some Google search results throw up pics from that site. I only know that as I was looking at pictures of my local village and it came up with "Mary of xxxxx". Beware!
Also, not against idea of threesomes for others but I wouldn't want to do that with someone I didn't know. And I'm with a partner for a reason. Quite frankly don't want to be covered in a strange man's ick.

Ick?

Seriously Daisee, ick? Is that what you really call it?

Ok!

Been a bit busy so have not had chance to respond.

So, I'm glad MN have removed the bile directed at me. Not that I give a flying fuck about what anyone actually thinks about me. I'm liberated that way. I didn't report them - better things to do like, oh fuck?

For those that have supported me, I thank you all.

For those abusive bullies - you've just really shown what you are like really haven't you?

Many(many) years ago, before I was married i tried this twice. On both occasios it was FFM and on both occasions it ws not nearly as exciting or satisfying as I was expecting. On the first occasion I felt the male wanted to show off with his girlfriend to me and that it was not really a joint effort. On the second occasion the other woman and I wre rather more interested in each other than my boyfriend expected. So, at the age of about 23 I decided this was not for me and not something I would bother with again. Hope that is useful to you.

I've also tried this. In uni I "shared" with my bf and his flatmate, which was fine until they started arguing over me, at which point it got messy very fast. Both guys managed to be respectful initially, no problems with any "slips" and a fun time was had by all.
Also had fun with a df and her then bf, but as with higgle the guy got turned into a spectator. Fun but not good.

So its important to know your partners, get everything sorted beforehand with regards to protection and where things are going to go, and just be prepared for consequences. Because there will be some.
Oh and remember to have fun!

Having just found out I have High Risk HPV infection I would advise caution. You have no idea who this guy has slept with and how often he changes partners - I would assume regularly if he frequents sex sites. I have only slept with five people in my life but two of them were extremely promiscuous and I didn't use protection, I am now suffering the consequences.

PLEASE use condoms and if you have anal sex make sure you don't transfer bacteria between the anus and vagina.

Threesomes are dangerous if you are in a committed relationship wit your partner, if you are not they are not.

The problem is that the excitement of the new can leave the regular partner out of it and feeling inadequate. It can also be soul less functional sex.

Sorry people have been giving you a hard time OP.

Only multi person hookup I've heard of (a weekend-long partner swap and essentially a foursome) ended in really acrimonious divorces for both couples. There were kids involved too; it was truly awful.

Nothing against the idea, but the consequences might not be what any of you expect. I probably would leave it in my head.

Known lots of people have a bloody GREAT time with threesomes, have fun and you're probably better asking on a polyamory forum for relationship advice about this sort of thing, mumsnet has a large contingent of the cats-bum-mouthed my-shit-don't-stink brigade.

When I've done MMF threesomes in the past, the lady has generally seemed to be having a whale of a time, for what it's worth.

I think the thing that worries me most is between you and your husband. You say he's "aware" you're on fetlife... Fetlife is fairly full on, my husband and I decided to have a joint profile (Which isn't the idea) to avoid either of us getting into private messaging someone and getting too flirty.

Do you already have a fairly well um negotiated relationship? Is the fetlife scene something the pair of you are already into? Not that I need to know at all, but the dynamics of your relationship would make a huge difference. If you're already into a bdsm type relationship you may well already be used to regular negotiating, discussion of limits, fantasies etc in which you are used to being v v v open and honest with each other. If that's the case it might be a better idea than if it isn't. Sometimes partners go along with things as they would rather go along with it than lose the partner, so regular intense honesty really is the key. THe "details" are then something you'd work out with your husband, rather than with us (and again, if you and husband were both on board with the idea in a big way, fetlife would be a good place to discuss the practicalities so to speak).

(I had a bit of a crap threesome when I was single, which put me off, and its not something I'd do as I think it would be damaging to our marriage -but that's not to say we wouldn't play a bit at say a club in future. But not a private full on 3some.)

What I mean is he's "aware" but presumably not on it?
If you're very much BOTH into it - you can both message person no 3 or join a swinging site...

Naicesex
Good for you for not letting the abuse get you down. There are a few people on here that clearly have major hangups about sex and see themselves as some kind of MN royalty.

Hi
I'm also looking for a male and female threesome partner for my female partner and I. We both want to experience it.
Any tips ?

Zombir

Any takers lol

Hi all. This is a thread from years ago. We'll close it in a mo.