Threesome advice

[naicesex]

Recently, both DH and I have been thinking of having a threesome with another man. Quite nervous about the idea in actuality but loved the fantasy.

In the last week a man (quite by chance) has entered my life who I have really clicked with. I like him a lot and would really like to be the third person. He has agreed in principle to this.

Can anyone offer any sane and sound advice regarding threesomes?

I'm not a troll and this is a genuine question.

What does the op having children have to do with it??

Last time I checked Micheal Douglas doesn't have a medical degree, nor foes the journalist who printed that shite so that patricular anecdote can be taken with a pinch of salt.

Are you saying you can't contract STD's by oral or hand contact then Lemming?

www.mountsinai.org/patient-care/service-areas/ent/areas-of-care/head-and-neck-cancer/oral-cancer/hpv/hpv-faq

My sexual experiences are more naive then others?

What evidence do you have that I am inexperienced and/or cannot see risk

Thanks for your concern rest safety but my husband is a big bloke who can handle himself.

Wally, can I ask what your experience is? Are you qualified to comment on threesomes or swinging?

And for the record, whilst I am happy to answer must reasonable questions, I am simply not prepared to discuss whether I or the guy have children.

Thankyou to the poster who said I was getting a lot of flack.

Yes I am!

Whatever happens, I'm it will likely be in a month or so and not without meeting the guy and talking to him. If I'm not happy, then it won't happen, I'm end of.

Damn phone, apologies for typos.

has your dp been in contact with this bloke at all? Do they click?

Whats your husbands interest in this? cuckold, or active participant?
Is the new guy bi?

it sounds to be all about you and the new guy if im honest.
What if your dp decides not to at the last minute after you and new guy have been making your plans?

Id suggest looking up swinging sites rather than fet tbh, theres some fucking dodgy people on fet.

although youll have no shortage of opportunity on there as a woman. Its desperate cock central

@ Branleuse, I'm on swinging sites and on Fet. As a single fem I get a ton of hassle on swinging sites, people on Fet seem less demented.

I think it's a bit of a myth you get more 'opportunity' as a female.

What you do get is a lot of messages, granted.

But once you've weeded out the bullshitters, the fantasists, the timewasters, the verbal abusers, the ultra-pushy types and the peeps that you don't click with, there's actually a very small amount left.

Add to that the fact that everyone has a 'real life' to prioritise (and quite rightly so), that diminishes your opportunities even more.

Saying that, there is some amazing fun to be had, if you do your research and go about things in a sensible way.

tbf ive never been on swinging sites, but got tonnes of patronising hassle on fet by wannabe doms.
My friend is on swinging sites as a couple and i got the impression it was better. I guess i dont really follow the whole scene anymore. I got creeped out one too many times.

As a single woman in any of these things, youre going to be sought after, especially if youre halfway attractive,but i donteven think thats particularly important on fet.

I remember the advice from a sex advice columnist to a husband who was trying to persuade his wife to have a threesome with a man. She said you probably imagine yourself as the dominant stag in this scenario. What if it isn't like that? What if your wife is more turned on by the other man than you?

I thought that was good advice. The fact that you are sexually attracted to this man means it may be very clear to dh that you will be more into the exciting newbie than him. He may find he isn't controlling the scene in the way he imagines. Some fantasies are best left as such. Reality can be v. Different.
Not got time to read whole thread so sorry if repeating.

Did you ever mention what your husband wants out of this?

Just curious as unless he is Bi (and the new partner you've met) things will just get a bit awkward.

Hi op,

I have had MMF and MFF threesome. Once I was 'in the relationship' and once I was the 'other person'.

I didn't enjoy being the third person very much- and actually found that whole situation a bit odd in the end, as it seemed to never end and I didn't really know what to do with myself (truth be told I found it a bit dull!!

I enjoyed the MMF a lot more; I knew and had slept with both blokes before, and was attracted to both of them, and I felt in control the whole time. There was lots of communication during and after. The boys did not cross swords- so I got all of the attention!

However it was a casual relationship; not sure I would do it with my husband and another man. Or woman.

I think I would advise to be mindful of a changed dynamic afterwards, of jealousy, and of developing real feelings for the third person.

However I don't think it's a bad idea necessarily. I just think that being married and in a long term committed relationship, there needs to be very frank discussions and very clear boundaries in place for before and after.

Maybe do it away from home town, to really create the sense of a clear line?

I had a musty ball once.

Threw it back over the fence.

I've tried it. All I can say is that it was (mostly) disappointing but the worst thing is that it ruined the fantasy.

I'm shocked at this thread actually. Threesomes aren't exactly the most outré fantasy/sexual practice in the universe - it's not up my rue, but blibbing on about marriage and kids is making me snort into my cuppa.

OP - there are much MUCH better suited place on the internet to ask about this sort of stuff, I'm not judging or shaming you at all, but MN isn't really the place to get good detailed advice on bringing someone else into the bedroom.

Ack, threesomes are sooooo 90's, baby

Yes, but come on, naice - there's gotta be a zillion place better suited to get actual advice on the topic at hand?!? Possibly less piss-taking, as well.

We all know Mums have sex. I still find it hilarious you'd come here, of all places (no disrespect to us, like), to get threesome advice.

You'd actually be better putting a thread on Fetlife on one of the many groups on there. You'd get advice more tailored to the situation and possibly from those who have experience.

Ya see, I would get my arse handed to me if I said there are better places to ask this kinda question

Mumsnet isn't a sex site. Please could we keep it that way. The interweb is stuffed full of people fucking in all kinds of ways. Go there.

Oh sorry :( I didn't mean to say the wrong thing.

you didn't

Yep, oversharing central

leaves a bad taste, don't it

I don't care what other mums do in their sex life. Take it to the sex sites. mums have sex and some of 'em have it 3ways. Fucking whoopy do.