Links to earlier posts
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1813521-Waves-is-determined-to-keep-winning-now-that-Acrobat-has-arrived
My little acrobat is nearly one. This time last year his MN aunties were cheering him on. I've survived a year but things are tough. I have pnd which has been worsening, and was signed off work a couple of weeks ago.
My new job is very stressful but also Twunt continues to mess with my head. I cannot let go. He clicks his fingers and I'm like a bloody lap dog. I hate myself.
I'm not really eating anymore. I find it hard to smile. It feels like my children would really be better off without me.
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Relationships
Does anyone remember? Things are pretty crummy now
323 replies
wavesandsmiles · 08/07/2014 15:57
OP posts:
lalalonglegs ·
04/08/2014 22:24
waves, it's very unlikely that you will be single for the rest of your life. But don't let your love of being in a relationship blind you to how messy getting into one right now would be: you've got three children who require a lot of your time and energy, you have clinical depression, a house that (iirc) needs work and you have a demanding job. You know, reading that back, I don't think it's a relationship you crave but some practical support, someone you can rely on to help you. Ideally a partner would be the person to provide this but that doesn't always happen 
, perhaps just look at ways of getting someone to share the load a bit - more childcare, perhaps? Leaning on friends a little?
Great news that you're getting a lot out of your psych sessions.
BerylStreep ·
05/08/2014 19:50
Well I was certainly surprised the other day when my 7yo DS announced that the thing he loved most about me was that I dyed my hair.
Itsfab ·
13/08/2014 20:47
You have a loving relationship already with your children and for anything else there is Anne Summers, etc. Now is not the time to be dating. You need to concentrate on building up your self esteem and respect and making sure all your children feel secure. You don't need a man and when you are ready for a good one it will happen 
.
wavesandsmiles ·
09/09/2014 13:35
Hello... I have been away so long due to my laptop dying a hideous death and not being able to figure out the mobile site!
The children and I had a lovely holiday, although I broke my wrist on the penultimate day. That was fairly hideous.
However, I am getting better and better and have just returned to work on a "gradual return" basis. So far, so good...
I am seeing counselors regularly, and on medication that seems to be helping enormously. I'm also getting better at saying no! Attempting to remain NC with Twunt but he keeps setting up bloody new email accounts so he can contact me! It's an endless saga of blocking 
Ended up meeting someone. Well, 4 someones. I guess my head got to a better place and all of a sudden life went a bit "everyone loves waves". Anyway, I'm now seeing one of the someones, but it's really chilled out. No pressure, no charm (learned my lesson), and no fireworks. Just a nice guy that I can enjoy hanging out with. His family are really nice, and his friends too. We met when I was playing my harp at a local pub and he came up to say how much he enjoyed it after. He's really good at roller skating and roller blading so once my wrist is fixed he is going to teach me.
Anyway, I've not invested myself particularly emotionally - I'm not making the same mistakes I have done in the past. But it's nice. And nice is a good thing.
Acrobat is walking - he took his first steps the day after he turned one, and is now running some of the time, and chattering away. And full of cuddles. DS1 and DD are both doing marvelously, back at school, and enjoying that.
Back to work now - glad I managed to find my way back here
OP posts:
maras2 ·
09/09/2014 15:20
Lovely to hear from you Waves.So glad that you are in a better place.Twunt will always be a twunt but you are lovely and your kids are very lucky to have you.Best wishes. Mx. 
lalalonglegs ·
11/09/2014 19:40
I'm so pleased you've been enjoying yourself over the past few weeks. It sounds as if you feel a lot more anchored and in control and happy. Your ex sounds as if he is desperately trying to push your buttons with the email thing, grit teeth and ignore, the NC thing is probably really winding him up.
Slightly bad luck to break your wrist before you even started rollerskating 
. And I refer to my post of 4 August: waves, it's very unlikely that you will be single for the rest of your life.
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whitsernam ·
27/10/2014 13:39
I remember that sad feeling when it seemed like there was no one I could share feelings with, like when you were thinking about your dad's birthday. But if you can just tough it out, in a day or two you feel much better and can even feel proud of yourself that you made it on your own!! It's a "fake it until you make it" situation, and it does work!! So just keep on keeping on, ... and breathe.
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