Does anyone remember? Things are pretty crummy now

[wavesandsmiles]

Links to earlier posts

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1813521-Waves-is-determined-to-keep-winning-now-that-Acrobat-has-arrived

My little acrobat is nearly one. This time last year his MN aunties were cheering him on. I've survived a year but things are tough. I have pnd which has been worsening, and was signed off work a couple of weeks ago.

My new job is very stressful but also Twunt continues to mess with my head. I cannot let go. He clicks his fingers and I'm like a bloody lap dog. I hate myself.

I'm not really eating anymore. I find it hard to smile. It feels like my children would really be better off without me.

[Jux]

Yes, Waves, you did some nice things and had great plans. His included aborting his baby, encouraging his children to be rude and revolting to you, making sure you were squashed into a box of his choice, undermining you, turning you from a lion into a mouse constantly at his beck and call with no real sense of worth unless he bestowed it on you. Oh and getting you to spend lots of money on him (a car!!) so you couldn't be as independent of him, depriving your children, ensuring that you all knew he comes top of the list.

Any plans you have now will beat those hands down.

Good going, 2 weeks. Make it 3!

[Thumbwitch]

Great work on the NC - how's the baking going?

[wavesandsmiles]

It's his birthday!!!! The baking went wonderfully. So home made leek and Stilton tartlets, marmite whirls, cup cakes, lemon drizzle cake, chocolate cake and some shop bought savouries too. Having a lovely time and still NC

[inlectorecumbit]

Happy bithday little Acrobat.
Hope you are all having a great time.

[SuffragetteCity]

Happy Birthday to beautiful little C! Sounds like a lovely spread! You're doing fabulously well, especially with no contact!

[Allalonenow]

Happy Birthday Acrobat! hope you and your children are all having a lovely day Waves.

I remember you threads from this time last year so well, all the very best to you for a bright and happy future.

[BerylStreep]

Happy birthday!

for him, and for you.

[tribpot]

Happy birthday, Acrobat! All the best to you, Waves.

[Thumbwitch]

Oh missed it - Happiest of happy Birthdays Acrobat!

COngrats on keeping NC, Waves - has he even attempted to talk to you or Acrobat? Sent presents for his birthday or anything?

More and and a few xx

[wavesandsmiles]

He's not tried to contact me at all. His mum and sister came to the party though with gifts from the two of them. He's completely blocked from any electronic means of communication though, so would have to write a letter or something.

I'm sick again today. At least it wasn't yesterday! I have now lost 1.5 stone since twunt and I ended the toxic relationship. And I need to work out what to do about work. And plan our trip to Weymouth of course.... That's under 2 weeks away.

[Thumbwitch]

waves, have you lost 1.5st in 2 weeks? Or do you mean a year?

Sorry that you're sick again - do you know what's causing it? :(

[wavesandsmiles]

I lost the weight over the past 5 weeks. And today I have a bug which other friends seem to have as well. My immune system is probably taking a battering!

[Thumbwitch]

Yes, quite likely, especially if your weight loss is due to lack of appetite/eating, combined with general stress!

I lost 1.5 st in 4w when my first fiancé left me (which, in hindsight, was a GREAT thing, but wasn't great at the time) because I had zero appetite and a massive lump in my throat and eating anything remotely fatty made me gag, even chocolate. I was subsisting on bananas and sweet milky coffee. I got acne in some very strange places - primarily just around my lymph glands under my jaw! And my hair started to fall out more than usual.

Anyway - yes, your immune system is likely to be suffering, is there any way you can manage to take a multi vit/min supplement if you can't eat too much? You'd need to take it with some food, even just e.g. a banana, to help it be absorbed, but it might help you get through this phase. Or try Complan, maybe?

[GoodtoBetter]

You should be under no illusions about the self absorbed cuntery of your ex husband. His son's first birthday and he can't even organise a birthday card? You are all better without this cunt, and that is frankly an insult to cunts calling him that. Stay strong waves and you'll find happiness, it's right there in you. You don't need a man to be happy. Be happy first for you and good things will come. Xx

[Itsfab]

I expect there is no card as he has forgotten it was the baby's birthday and it wasn't even on his mind.

Waves, you need to eat. Stop thinking you can survive on coffee and get some food in you. You have to look after yourself because you have children to care for.

[minniebar]

Aww, sounds like a fab birthday feast. Happy birthday Acrobat!

[KiwiJude]

Belated Happy birthday Acrobat!

[lalalonglegs]

At the risk of sounding like a stuck record: have you managed to eat anything, waves?

[BerylStreep]

Morning Waves, I hope you are getting over your bug and feeling a bit better. Have the DC come down with it too?

[Thumbwitch]

Hope you're feeling better now Waves! And that Twunt is still leaving you alone.
for you xx

[wavesandsmiles]

Over the bug but then the DCs got it too. Touchwood we are all ok now, and excited to be going away next weekend. I had to see Twunt yesterday for Acrobat handovers, was a really shit day as just seeing him sucks and then I played for a wedding. I felt, and still feel, really flat and even quite upset about it. I don't think I will play for any more weddings this year. Too emotional and I need to look after myself.

Have been being chatted up quite a bit but I think most guys are just interested in sex and that feels a bit shit too. I did get a new tattoo on Wednesday though (well further work t

[wavesandsmiles]

Over the bug but then the DCs got it too. Touchwood we are all ok now, and excited to be going away next weekend. I had to see Twunt yesterday for Acrobat handovers, was a really shit day as just seeing him sucks and then I played for a wedding. I felt, and still feel, really flat and even quite upset about it. I don't think I will play for any more weddings this year. Too emotional and I need to look after myself.

Have been being chatted up quite a bit but I think most guys are just interested in sex and that feels a bit shit too. I did get a new tattoo on Wednesday though (well further work to my left arm) so that's good.

I want to find my inner happy

[Thumbwitch]

You will, lovely, you will.
Were you going to consider 3rd party handovers for Acrobat, so you don't have to even see Twunt? I thought that was one possibility - maybe you should look more into it and see if you can do that. You don't need him making you sad any more.

And yes, ignore blokes for now. THere are good ones out there but at the moment, because you're still vulnerable after all the mess with Twunt, you're more likely to have the Twatsignal lit up on your forehead, sorry. :(

[BerylStreep]

Twatsignal - I like it. Thumbwitch is right though, forget blokes for the time being and look after yourself.

[lalalonglegs]

Thumbwitch is right: low self-esteem, complicated family relationships/feelings of isolation, depression - yup, those abusers will sniff you out like sharks after an injured seal. Forget men until you feel a lot better and until your radar is fully functioning.

I hope the handover was incredibly brief and business-like (if it was and no real conversation was had then I think it still counts as NC). Get the handover sorted out if you can.

Take care and, no, don't play for any more weddings if it upsets you.