The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sipping Super Summer Mocktails Whilst Soaking Up Some Sun.

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm what some would call a 'controlled' drinker these day, but I wasn't always and I'm not alone on this wonderful bus, Gerald, when I say that.

We have drinkers who drink each day, those who abstain completely and those who are not sure what it is that they actually want just yet....

We won't judge you for drinking, no matter what your reason is, we've all been in your shoes somewhere along the way!! And we have ALL used every excuse under the sun too!

We have some Babes who ride on the Roof-Rack, (clinging on for dear life ) and then we have an expandable Side-Car, which some Babes use, but the bus, well, the bus, our wonderful Gerald, who takes us here and there, to pick up people in need of an unbiased and much needed ear to listen to. :)

There are lots of ears on this bus, and not a single one will turn you away and not listen!

Two things that we do believe here are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

If you are lurking and reading this thread, there is a reason for it, isn't there?

Stay lurking or come and say hello! We don't always bite.

And for those who'd like a bit of history, HERE'S THE LAST THREAD

And of course, THIS IS WHY WE ARE ALL HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, A VERY AWE INSPIRING READ

See you soon x

I can't leave - I own the house and want to stability the kids. And he won't go cos he runs his pretend business from my home, and doesn't earn enough to rent somewhere. And if I try to force him out he will be very spiteful and try to take kids, citing my drinking, and with everything going on at work atm am scared I will just collapse and have a proper breakdown. So, can't get him out till I am better, can't get better with him there. Sorry to sound so defeatist! Would also cost me a fortune to get rid, my kids college funds would all be wasted on the selfish twunt!

On my way home, will do a new thread asap! Hang in there babes xx

oh hope my heart goes out to you.
my wankbadger isn't as bad as yours but bad enough. I learnt to disengage - it takes a while but tell yourself that he cant control your thoughts. When dh was being arsy and trying to provoke a fight I would refuse to rise, agree with everything politely with a serene and slightly mocking smile and in my head be thinking all sorts of deliciously horrible names to call him. I began to be able to let him see that actually he didn't own me or control me and that one day I would be gone.
every minute carved out for yourself is precious and one minute less that he has control of. Go on your laptop in the bedroom and when he comes to find you and ask you why you are there, say innocently "because you said it annoyed you when I used it in the sitting room" and carry on. Stay calm. Don't rise. It will annoy the fuck out of him and he will try harder but you are stronger. Repeat in your head, "don't rise, don't rise" and give him a calm "if you say so" then go out for a walk.
If it tips over into violence you call the police. No negotiations on that one.

Thanks Ma. I know that is good advice, oh wise one! When I was at the funeral yesterday I was feeling shaky, and as I usually check onto the bus via my phone, I kept thinking of my phone in my bag. It was like all my bus babe friends were there, swinging off my left arm. You truly are friends, and I luffs you all xxx Thank you xxx

looking I think you need some expert advice from a women's refuge now. It really isn't normal to feel like that in a relationship. My ex wankbadger ruled through fear and I thought it was 'ok' or 'normal' or something. Now I'm sorry I didn't report the fucker.

Just get some advice from the experts on the relationships board or from a women's refuge.I'm sorry my lovely,but he is not entitled to your money or house or children or your body and mind. It's a lie that he's spinning you.

How about some legal advice? Could you book a session and just collect ideas? Don't have to do anything until you are ready.These WB types are evil sods,they can convince the strongest woman of all varieties of bullshit.

We're here for support- liked ma's idea of turning it back on him.

Also like the idea of kicking him in the nuts but i'm probably not allowed to do that.

You're allowed Guggs. Do you want our address? That made me smile for the first time in ages

Gerald screeches around the corner, pulling a sharp U-turn on two wheels and heads full speed to rescue looking. We're on our way!

Righto. Already posess DM's and full on Irish temper,would be delighted to oblige.

am reliant on another babe to tell me when to stop

Oh baby. Flag the camping come and spend the week-end on my couch. I'll feed you green teas and ice cream and we can watch really bad TV under duvets (freezing here). We all need safety and comfort when we feel anxious. Hope it all goes ok xx

yes,baby that sound like a better offer to me!
I can understand just what you say about getting back to being you and I guess that you need to continue to take the vitamins and meds. the dr has given. Depression is so weird sometimes you can head it off by knowing that it's just about to start. Does that make sense? The weekend with friends might help.Hope so give yourself time and be kind to yourself. If you need a weekend on bed by yourself- then just do it you'll feel much better.

buckles down all the babes while soc floors it to rescue hope

just hold the thought that he's got a whole lot of menopausal piss heads heading his way and boy, he's gonna regret messing with us!

indie where did you get that baseball bat?

Hope - my heart goes out to you so much, being trapped in an abusive relationship (even if there is no physical violence, there is mental and emotional abuse) here sweetheart and I can almost feel the way your stomach knots whenever he comes near you.

I can imagine you wanting to scoop the children up and just get out and go somewhere where you feel 'safe', just for one night. But I know that can't/won't happen.

I'm so sorry lovely that this shit is going on but I agree with everyone here, the more 'fuel' you put on the fire, by drinking, the weaker you are in his eyes and the more he'll use that against you. Easy to say, I know that. I really do. xxx

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