The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sipping Super Summer Mocktails Whilst Soaking Up Some Sun.

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm what some would call a 'controlled' drinker these day, but I wasn't always and I'm not alone on this wonderful bus, Gerald, when I say that.

We have drinkers who drink each day, those who abstain completely and those who are not sure what it is that they actually want just yet....

We won't judge you for drinking, no matter what your reason is, we've all been in your shoes somewhere along the way!! And we have ALL used every excuse under the sun too!

We have some Babes who ride on the Roof-Rack, (clinging on for dear life ) and then we have an expandable Side-Car, which some Babes use, but the bus, well, the bus, our wonderful Gerald, who takes us here and there, to pick up people in need of an unbiased and much needed ear to listen to. :)

There are lots of ears on this bus, and not a single one will turn you away and not listen!

Two things that we do believe here are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

If you are lurking and reading this thread, there is a reason for it, isn't there?

Stay lurking or come and say hello! We don't always bite.

And for those who'd like a bit of history, HERE'S THE LAST THREAD

And of course, THIS IS WHY WE ARE ALL HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, A VERY AWE INSPIRING READ

See you soon x

eccles not sure if you meant me but I use Tescos own brand berocca when I need an energy boost.

Is it a bird? yes
Is it a plane?
No- it's SUPERMA
da,da,daaa,da etc etc

Quick check in. Operation done all went well. Restiing at home and on day 7 AF. In hospital for the first 4 so bit of a cheat .
Ma gliding WOW. Glad you enjoyed it.
mouse Happy Anniversary, hope you are having a lovely time. x
Will read back and catch up when a bit more recovered.
Keep kicking that WW.
Love to all x

re vitamins - not sure who it was, but someone on here ages ago recommended high strength vitamin B (I think it's B1 but don't have the bottle with me). Apparently very good at helping with (a) cravings for alcohol in the days after stopping drinking and (b) rebuilding cells etc. No idea about the medical stuff and probably have that completely wrong - but its fair to say I've found it very helpful and I know others on here have said the same in the past.

Thanks both names for the tips

Hello everyone!

little you can do it! I know that cup of tea will hit the spot! C'mon lovey, we can help each other out. I am on day 21 and desperate not to spoil it but I am so close to doing so. Xx

My smile was painted on for most of today but it's slipping...

Mouse happy anniversary petal! Have a ball! Heck have two! xx

looking your kids will know. Look at yourself in the mirror. See what we all see. A strong, independent brave woman kicking back at a shitey set of adversities and still managing to care for her bairns. I think you're fab. So there. Xx

baby big bwah, love your posts, you know you're a comfort to each and every one of us. Xx

new hello, the b vits are just starting to help me I think. I'm in the same boat as quite a few of us. I can't sleep through. Wish I could. 4am seems to be a familiar sight these days. Xx

Bosies to one and all, xx

21 days wry? Fucking awesome!

Thank you ma, I got complacent last time around the same stage and fell off the bus.

I'm off this weekend and a bit feart I slip. I'm heading for my friend's on Sunday to ride her horse.

If it's nice LittleLab and I are going to the beach. Although I a bit wary of the jellyfish. There have been some boskers lately. My last lab, Gentle, peed on command. A sting would have been neutralised sharpish.

LittleLab not so much. If you tell her to pee she gets stagefright and sits a-glowering

I'm

Check oot this corker. Massive. Like a placenta.

Hi guys, I've mentioned thiamin (vit b1) 300mg daily, it's used by clinics to wean alcoholics and it's a mood leveller and deters cravings. I'm using it with a b complex vitamin and a supplement called chlorella which is great for everything. Neither is terribly expensive on amazon but the combination has changed my entire persona and skin and kept me sober for over 2 months so whether it's them or placebo, it's really worked for me.

Your all doing great, and ma I always thought there was something fly about you, get it!!!!

Hugs to our lovely brave rural

Will NC tomorrow, after wondering around like wee willy winky half the bloody night, I'm knackered.

Hugs to oldies (calm doon no in years) and newbies alike, I'm proud to call you all my friends xxx

ma as you were gliding through the skies, was there a moment when you would have exchanged that exhilaration for a glass of cheap sour wine? I bet not!!

I have been at loads and loads of Commonwealth Games events (and the shamrock and the welsh thing, and the English doo dah). I spent all my holiday money for this summer on tickets. It is only possible because I've not been spending money on wine, and so I had all of that left to pay for tickets. And I was happy to sit for hours without having a drink. Four years ago when this whole thread first started I could not have imagined that. I would either have been at home drinking and feeling pissed off that the only thing on tv was boring sport, or I would have been spending all my time in the 'non-sports' arenas getting pissed.

And for those of you who are wondering about the weekend, and the whole drinking / not drinking question, here are my best tactics.....

1. know what you will say, and what you will drink when you first arrive... e.g. "Oh I'm so hot and thirsty, I think I'm going to have a big glass of orange and lemonade / cranberry and soda / the drink of your choice......

(this does 2 things: it gives you a 'real' reason for not drinking (one that won't attract any attention to your new non-drinking situation); and it makes sure that your first drink is non-alcoholic, and hydrating (so if you do drink later you're starting from a better base).

2. repeat...
   "Actually I've got a bit of a headache from this hot weather so I'll have another soda ad lime / coke / peppermint tea.... (non-alcoholic drink of choice)

3. then carry on as you wish.....

But in reality, if you imagine a night when then are 4 opportunities to have a drink, and you only want to drink on 2 of them - then the only way to guarantee this is to have the first 2 drinks as non- alcoholic, and then the final two can be alcohol. If you do it the other way round then you have drink one, drink two - then the alcohol and 'oh fuck it' stuff piles in, and we are very, very, likely to have both the next 2 drinks as alcoholic ones.

I guess what I'm saying is that if you want to do CONTROLLED drinking, then you have to know how you are going to control it...

Ma your gliding sounds amazing. I imagine the silence (as opposed to having noisy engine) must be so lovely and wonderful, breathtaking scenery Have you booked to go again?

Can't sleep, crashed out after day time drinking with a friend, woke up at 10pm de-hydrated and feeling cack (you all know 'the one') I definitely have friends who are a bad influence on the drinking front and find them encouragable Those of you who have abstained from alcohol for some time, do you have friends like this or did you have to stop seeing them in order to stay AF. Maybe I'm just so weak willed that I do find it hard to say No.

Tum tum tum so wide awake at the wrong time of day. Must try and sleep

Morning all
Who will join me in dry August?
Day 1.

Hello Ma. Yes, I will join dry August. It sounds so counter-intuitive doing it now - the height of summer, cocktails on the beach (I wish), lazy Pimms afternoons etc etc - its so left field it might just work!

I wanted to ask all you lovely people about diet when trying not to drink. When I've tried to abstain before I've just eaten my bodyweight in sugar - for reasons I understand. This time I am determined to control food intake as well as alcohol - but I don't want to do a diet as such because so much restraint and abstention may just finish me off. So for the last four days I've been doing the 16-8 thing where you just eat during any 8 hour period and have tea/water etc the rest of the time (basically skipping breakfast in my case, and being a bit careful the rest of the time). It sounds a bit faddish and I've no idea if it works but it almost doesn't matter provided I control the sugar aspect of things. So far it has been really helpful and a surprising side benefit is that if I know I cannot eat anything after my 8pm 'kitchen is closed' watershed, I know I cannot drink either. Psychologically that is really helpful in that if I am tempted to drink I am not only ruining my attempts at sobriety but 'breaking' the diet too. I have no idea if that makes sense objectively, but it kind of does to me in my current muddled state. I'd love to hear what others have done about diet when cutting down/out alcohol and whether they've tried to do it in one fell swoop or tackled things consecutively.

Happy Friday all.

I'll join in with dry August please : )

Excellent post venus as always. I have bought new clothes all year including warm winter coats. Previous to that I found every excuse to buy wine and then 'couldn't afford' things that I needed. Madness?

spanna lots of water for you,lovely. Tbh I'm not as friendly with drinking friends any more. I just don't go out drinking and they aren't interested in all the fab things you can do which don't involve a big drinking session,so find an excuse when invited out. However,I have made new non drinking (well,they have 1 glass occasionally) friends. Even better they have never seen me plastered.

Thanks baby and venus (and everyone else) for all of the advice.

Any help with the sugar thing would be good for me too. I'll end up the size of a house if I carry on chomping on magnums as my evening treat.

Good morning babes, another crap night sleep, spoke to the doctor yest and it's probably the AD's bit I daren't stop them as they've literally given me my life back along with sobriety. When my gran died 13 years ago we kept putting her lottery numbers on, she loved doing it and was sure one day she'd win, we're still doing it cos you know what'll happen if we don't. It's a bit like that for me, I'm taking so many meds both medicinal and vitamin based and I'm so relieved to be "back" I'm bloody petrified to change any tablet or doseage incase it's the one that works the magic, both with my depression and my cravings!!!!!

Off camping today, never done it before, also anxious about this, after caravangate I'm scared being out if my comfort zone will act as a trigger, also having Crohns, I get very anxious about getting to destinations and making it to toilets when I get there. Also dh is a keen camper and I feel like he'll be in papa smurf mode, ordering us all about, dd1 is distraught at possibility of no wifi and dd2 is like mogli in jungle book and will run away towards wildlife or woodland at every opportunity. Added to this the weather forecast is dreadful so I'm on full trigger alert.

We are going with another family who I love dearly but are as lovely and calm as the Walton's and us the squabbling Dingles so the camp fire may not be the only place sparks are flying.lots of boxes of wine being brought along too, yikes xxx

I am thinking of you one and all and remember it's not the odd night of drinking that defines you, if the weekend catches you out, just start again the next day, every one who has the courage to bare their soul on here to strangers is a winner in my mind and every day AF is a victory no one can take away from us xxx

I luffs you all xxx

Morning. Funeral ok. Saw my drinking pal from night of shame, he was lovely and just asked if I was ok. His wife was laughing cos he came home late and drunk. Anyway, service was all about how close deceased and his wife were and what a lovely life they had, which I know is true. She looked so sad. If I died oh would be happy as long as he got his hands on my cash. Took dc's to athletics and had ice cream with dd while ds trained. Came home and did a bit of admin on laptop with dd in front of tv,and he came in and started picking at me and telling me to go in another room, cos I was annoying him typing and he needed to relax. I ignored it but he went on and on and on, till dd was begging him to stop, so went up to bed and drank sneaky half bottle of wine. Feel so fragile atm, get all shaky when he shouts at me and need a drink. Vicious circle. Need to go to work now and will have to speak to him to ask him to help me open garage. Scared even to do that. How did I end up wwith such a nasty man?

Good morning babes.

Well, i have reached my 21 day goal and feel well pleased. However, i feel tired, fat and old. I seem to have replaced alcohol with carbs and sugar.

As for dry August, i am just not sure. August contains: My two weeks holiday (starts today), a wedding, my birthday, our wedding anniversary (DH has booked for us to go away to a fancy restaurant i have wanted to go to for years), my boozy friends coming for a boozy lunch, dinner with friends, a shopping day in Edinburgh with DD's (usually involves cocktails), dinner with friends...the list goes on.

I feel certain that i won't negotiate all that without slipping up and i don't want to commit and say i will do it if i think i won't see it through.

I am a bit of a perfectionist/control freak and i angst so much about failing or letting people down. This past three weeks has been an emotional roller coaster.

My instinct is to shut everyone out and retreat into myself but that isn't helpful.

To be honest i think i am having a bit of a mid life crisis which goes much deeper than me drinking or not and i need to try and tackle that if i want to start feeling better about myself.

God i am such a MOAN. I am sick of the sound of my own whinging.

I have a lovely, kind DH, two amazing DD's, a beautiful house, no money worries and a job i am passionate about. I have NOTHING to moan about but on i go...moan, whinge, moan. Shut me up ... please.

I guess what I'm saying is that if you want to do CONTROLLED drinking, then you have to know how you are going to control it... oh boy this made me think. I am planning not to drink tonight Day 12, or all weekend and next week but know that next Sat when I away for the weekend to my home town, I will. I will take the advice about non alcoholic drinks first and see how I go. I will be out with Brother and SIL then on to see best friend who I rarely see (she is a boozer) but I am planning this all for sat night to contain it, then sun lunch out I have designated myself as driver so have an excuse not to drink. Regarding Diet, I started SW before deciding enough is enough with the wine. I cannot thank it enough, I eat tons, look better, feel better and eat better and have lost 3 stone 1lb so far. I recommend looking at the website for recipes and 7 day eating plans. its a good way of balanced eating that works for me, I snack on tons of fruit, strawbs / rasps / cherries and grapes are my snack of choice now instead of a wine glass. but one thing at a time eh... don't add pressure, for me because I was already on the weight loss journey it was easier as the ww was slowing down my efforts, doubt I could have started both at once. It might help though with feeling better if you start with a few changes to diet, nothing too drastic to start but eating well does have so many knock on effects it is worth considering (lecture now over )

Oh hope I wish there waa something I could say/do to get you away from your h. He really seems to be sticking the boot in when your at your lowest. reading your posts im sure he loves it when you drink too much, he uses it to take away attention from his own failings. Your supporting the house, he's sniping from the sidelines. I bet there is plenty you could say in retaliation but you don't need more stress (sounds like he is well taking advantage of that). For the time being I'd try to follow guggs advice just to get some time to yourself away from him, long term I hope you can get rid of him permanently

Looking I am somewhat embarrassed about my self indulgent rant while you are having a truly awful time. Please be kind to yourself.

I am away to remove my head from my arse.

Hugs to you. ((()))

Thanks Anne. You are right, he does love it when I drink. He hates it when I am happy (ish) and strong, does his best to withhold support when I am stressed, then when I crack up he breaks his neck racing to the moral high ground to fire bullets at me. But it's not fair on the kids. I just need some space to recover...Sorry, it's all me, me, me at the moment! Would just like a little joy in my life. Was supposed to go for a meal with a friend tomorrow but had to cancel as frightened he will fly into a rage if I go out. This feels like abuse - he just sneers and says I am so self pitying, and go and have another drink...