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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - In Search Of Sobriety, Sunshine & Survival!

(1000 Posts)
Mouseface Fri 01-Aug-14 15:59:36

Hello, I'm Mouse smile

Welcome to the thread, or our mythical Bus called Gerald! grin

There is room for everyone. Always

There is help for everyone who wants it. Always

There is unconditional support and kindness. Always

We have two sentences that we believe in here -

1) - The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement

2) - Alcohol Fosters Inertia

No matter what it is that you drink, how much, how often, we've ALL been in your position at one point or another...... so most of us WILL know exactly what it's like to be YOU

If you'd like to read the last thread, it's below -

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD

And if you want to read a pretty sobering thread and the history behind these many, the reason why we are all here, fighting to stay/get sober is here -

FIRST EVER BRAVE BABES THREAD

Hope to see you soon smile

Mouse x

Isindethickofit Fri 01-Aug-14 17:02:14

<rushes in and bags the back seat...sprawls out and goes to sleep>

littlewhitebag Fri 01-Aug-14 17:25:20

Ooh. Shiny new thread. I like it. Very spacious. Lots of room for fellow passengers. I see Isinde has bagsied the back seat.

I am in Edinburgh airport and, yes, I have succumbed to the lure of the Sauvignon blanc. I am trying it out to see how I feel about it. It tastes nice but I won't have a second, even though DH has asked for another. In fact I just this moment told the waitress "no thank you" when she asked if I wanted another. That is a first for me!

Have a great Friday evening, fellow bus folks.

BloodyUserName Fri 01-Aug-14 18:04:39

Hiya, I've resisted the lure of the wine tonight and instead bought some swanky lemonade and bubble bath as a treat. I hate this bit when I normally have a drink but I'm looking forward to later when I go to bed having remembered to brush my teeth and cleanse, tone and moisturise ��

dementedma Fri 01-Aug-14 19:58:25

<chucks Barrie and tankful of water over sleeping <*indie*>

CominThroughTheWry Fri 01-Aug-14 20:29:38

Strap me in for a dry August please ma smile

<Crawls on to a seat and curls up for a long sleep >

lookingforhope Fri 01-Aug-14 20:54:51

Watching athletics with kids, he has just come in to shout a bit about doing the washing up (I didn't eat at home tonight, they all ate before I go in). Shouted a bit, told me I should just sit here and get fatter, then slammed upstairs. It is surreal, leave me alone. Cant even answer back as don't want it to escalate in front of the kids. sad

dementedma Fri 01-Aug-14 21:45:28

God hope what a cunt he is.
Remind me, how old are the Dcs? It might be better for them for it to escalate one last time and you throw him out- call police if you need back up -than for them to listen to him abusing you. Are they old enough to stand up for you? Do you have somewhere you could flee to temporarily?

lookingforhope Fri 01-Aug-14 21:57:15

They are 14 and 10. Ds does stick up for me. Dd just gets upset at arguments ans blames both of us. Ds often talks about 'when we grow up and you leave dad', like he can't imagine us staying together. I don't want to do anything till I am back on the moral high ground and not drinking (though only had single glass of wine today at lunchtime meeting). In a few weeks Dd will be at high school, I will have done a week away at work which is coming up, I will see then. Though it will take Wild horses to make the entitled twunt leave home. I need a plan x Sorry for keeping posting but this will be good for me to look back once he starts being nice again. Which is odd to see sometimes, like watching a horse trying to climb a ladder.

Mouseface Fri 01-Aug-14 21:58:32

Hope - if you answer him back, does he go louder and nastier with or without the DC there?

That was my XP's fave tactic... get louder and angrier at mummy so that DD 'knew' something was going on and therefore I wouldn't react or respond at all, just focus on distracting her..... I agree with Ma, there WILL come a time where there will be no going back and things will go BANG!

I'm really, really worried about you and the DC's having been in a extremely controlled, violent and calculated relationship for a number of years when DD was young.

Please try and post whenever you can, delete your posting history if you share the laptop but put this thread on 'watch' so you can find it? Assuming your DH is as nosy as my XP was..... every move, call, trip out of the house.

If you EVER don't feel safe, or are worried for the DC, call 999 and scream your head off, they'll be there in seconds!

Have a little peek HERE if you can, they have some fab advice for all levels of abusive relationships, from arguments to physical abuse.

Stay safe sweetheart xxx

Night to the rest of you lovely lot. IsinDe - STOP SNORING!

Well done User and little for resisting getting your usual Friday Night Fixes smile I promise, Friday soon becomes a Monday IYSWIM.

Be back over the weekend after a fab holiday in Anglesey, a week on the beaches has done me the world of good.

Night xxx

dementedma Fri 01-Aug-14 22:16:42

mouse lovely to see you sweets.
hope here's the plan. Start your exit strategy now. This means practical stuff like photocopying key documents and insurances etc and keeping them somewhere safe, getting spare keys cut, transferring money to a separate account if you can or starting to save a wee slush fund. If you pay for shopping with your card, add a wee bit of cash back and hide it. It doesn't show as cash back on your statements. Get a credit card if you can for emergencies. Transfer money to ISAs in your name. Buy a cheap pay as you go phone and put money on it. Make up a bag of clothes for you all and have it stashed somewhere with a friend.
Set up a new email account and record everything g that is happening. Use private browsing on the PC and delete browsing history.
Doing all of this empowers you, even if you never need it.
Trust me on that one.

lookingforhope Fri 01-Aug-14 22:43:55

Thanks mouse and ma. I don't feel physically threatened (though have been in the past) but the shouting goes through me, I am very averse to confrontation. He seems to have no control whether dc's there or not, makes no difference, though sometimes I think he criticises me in front of them to 'show' them my faults. I have the secret bank accounts ma. and the password protected laptop and phone that never leaves my side. May need to sort through them again, but the documents are all there, and am keeping notes. I am like a secret agent!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 02-Aug-14 00:30:19

well I am home, bugger is that I drank tonight, I so wanted not to but I could not do it sad I have not had anywhere near the amount I would have had previously but I am still gutted that I did not stay AF. buggeration life is tough.

SoberSocFish Sat 02-Aug-14 02:10:54

Morning babes

stepaway life is tough, but don't make it tougher by being hard on yourself. You need to be on your side so be nice to yourself. So what if you drank last night. Today is another day. And you didn't drink as much as you would have so be proud of that and have a good day today.

looking we're all here for you virtually (and literally) 24 hours a day. That's a LOT more than that prick has.

It's Saturday morning here and I've almost forgotten what if feels like to wake up with a hangover. I reminded myself this morning. I need to keep those memories close at hand. Although I am not tempted much these days. As everyone before me has said it gets easier and easier.

Have a good week-end. Soc x

littlewhitebag Sat 02-Aug-14 08:03:31

Greetings from sunny wet Manchester.

I have to confess to having a second glass of wine with dinner last night but 2 glasses over 5/6 hours is nothing compared to what I would normally have. DH had 4 glasses in that time.

Tbh it wasn't as deliciously tasty as I thought it would be so I am glad I had it just so I can say, nah , not for me.

Off to the wedding today. I will be able to get my own drinks there so it should be fine.

Hope you are all well and have a great day. I will report back after the wedding.

margarethamilton Sat 02-Aug-14 09:25:11

Hi everyone. Thanks for the new thread mouse.

hope Your situation sounds intolerable. I'm glad you're starting your exit plan. No one could put up with that kind of EA. I tried for 5 years. My self esteem was rock bottom by the end.

Day 6 here. Meal out last night and drank water. It was weird walking back through.the city centre with DH seeing loads of really pissed people! It's our anniversary today and we're DD free. So off into the city for gallery, shops, lunch and who knows? I'm hoping I can take or leave the wine and find some balance.

Oh and My Fitness Pal is amazing. I've lost 6 pounds this week by calorie counting and tracking my steps, with a couple of gym sessions thrown in. That's a big incentive to knock empty wine calories on the head!

Enjoy the day. Raining heavens hard here!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 02-Aug-14 09:58:06

thanks soc x

littlewhitebag Sat 02-Aug-14 11:03:30

I've just had some bad news. My mum has had a heart attack. Taken by ambulance to hospital this morning. And I am 200 miles away.

She has had a stent put in and I have managed to talk to her on the phone. She sounded okay and she has told me not to cancel our holiday. She is in hospital for 5 days and we will be back by the time she gets out. But I feel so helpless.

My mum is 73, slim, fit and very healthy. I am struggling to get my head round how she has had a heart attack.

My head is all over the place, sorry. I feel in such a muddle.

margarethamilton Sat 02-Aug-14 11:36:45

I'm so sorry to hear that little. Sending some kind of virtual hug / hand to hold. I hope your mum is better soon xxx

lookingforhope Sat 02-Aug-14 12:04:40

Oh, little, so sorry. Big hugs to you and your mum. I am glad she sounds stable now, hope everything will be ok. She's in the best place and being taken care of. Sending my thoughts out to you xxxxx Let us know how she gets on xxx

BloodyUserName Sat 02-Aug-14 12:24:26

little I'm sorry to hear about your mum, if it's any comfort to you she really is in the best place possible. I hope she recovers well and is back on her feet quickly.

littlewhitebag Sat 02-Aug-14 12:25:23

Thank you. I feel so awful going off to a wedding when she is in hospital but I know there is little I can do. My dad is off to play bowls this afternoon so I assume he is confident she is fine.

I just hope this doesn't make me dive head first into the wine bottle at the reception. I suspect I won't in case there is any change and I need to make plans to get home.

SoberSocFish Sat 02-Aug-14 12:52:43

sorry to hear that little stay strong for your mum xxx

CominThroughTheWry Sat 02-Aug-14 14:22:55

little Bosies for you. Big ones.(((((((((((((((((big bosies)))))))))))))))))

Your mum is in good hands, try to enjoy your break lovey. It's scary though, I know. It really shakes your foundations and makes you think. It sounds like they are taking good care of her, you will see her when you get back, haud gaun my lovely little xx

(sorry I'm call and at work, love to all xx)

venusandmars Sat 02-Aug-14 18:27:18

little hope all is well. And truly a shed load of drink is NOT the best antidote to shock anyway... you will be so much better to cope without that.

And for the rest of you Babes, well what can I say? <stands with hands on hips and a stern look of face> You all raced over here and the old thread was not full up shock You are naughty, naughty babes.

There, that's you told.

But seriously (for any new babes) it is good to makes sure the old thread is filled up completely. There have been previous times when someone has googled in desperation, found an old unfinished thread and posted there - only to find that they never, ever get a response sad

Anyway. I've filled it up now [smug] so we can all get on with posting here....

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