The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sipping Super Summer Mocktails Whilst Soaking Up Some Sun.

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm what some would call a 'controlled' drinker these day, but I wasn't always and I'm not alone on this wonderful bus, Gerald, when I say that.

We have drinkers who drink each day, those who abstain completely and those who are not sure what it is that they actually want just yet....

We won't judge you for drinking, no matter what your reason is, we've all been in your shoes somewhere along the way!! And we have ALL used every excuse under the sun too!

We have some Babes who ride on the Roof-Rack, (clinging on for dear life ) and then we have an expandable Side-Car, which some Babes use, but the bus, well, the bus, our wonderful Gerald, who takes us here and there, to pick up people in need of an unbiased and much needed ear to listen to. :)

There are lots of ears on this bus, and not a single one will turn you away and not listen!

Two things that we do believe here are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

If you are lurking and reading this thread, there is a reason for it, isn't there?

Stay lurking or come and say hello! We don't always bite.

And for those who'd like a bit of history, HERE'S THE LAST THREAD

And of course, THIS IS WHY WE ARE ALL HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, A VERY AWE INSPIRING READ

See you soon x

Thanks baby. You are a rock to me. Just working atm but dreading funeral. There will be lots of drink there but am driving, so excuse not to, and am taking ds to athletics later so good to get out of the house. I have antidepressants but they don't help. I know this needs to change but can't go off sick till after September, and atmosphere at home awful... Right, 2 more hours of work then shower. I hope I can get to where you are soon, but atm everything in my life seems wrong...

Oh, he has just come in to say can I try not to get drunk and fall into a grave at the funeral as he is going out at 5.45 and will leave the kids alone if I am not back. So now have to take dd to athletics when I was hoping for some me time. I hate him, he is a spiteful man who resents my success (ironic) and loves to see me fail.

looking you really are between a rock and a hard place aren't you? Sounds awful. I've had a few times when this bus and ds is all that kept me going- so bloody well use us!

'D'h is on a wind up and is looking for a reaction,exactly like a sulky teen. When he goads you about drinking can you say " mmm.." in a distracted,not very interested tone?

Remember that every single babe has had a massive problem with alcohol,I've woken up in horrible situations,feeling very,very ashamed of myself. And every single babe here is a privillige to know even ma so what gives 'dh' the right to think he is any better than us? You are in an appalling situation,I know I drink when I can't cope,doesn't make me a bad person.He's a wankbadger. Don't give him any satisfaction,just blank him out. Or give him a big kick up the bum from the bus. [hug]

I am trying but he says it in front of the kids. Ds tells him he shouldn't speak to me like that but dd picks up on it and repeats it - she is only 10. I think I could cope better if he left, right now am hiding in my own house. Don't want to confront him and provoke a row in front of kids, they have enough to put up with.

Funnily I only drink due to stress, and he is making me more stressed, if that were possible.

I hear you looking I feel exactly the same, dh is a snappy Italian and I'm super duper sensitive so his snapping had me getting anxious and twitchy, I'm a people pleaser and detest confrontation, I sense you are too.

Dr bach's rescue remedy is herbal and helps with that immediate adrenaline nausea we all get, pick some up on the way to the funeral, it WILL help.

It sounds like right now your family expect you to drink and be all sorry and subservient to dh, that a damn good reason not to drink. He's not been very kind at all, I can feel my babe assassin mode coming over me like the Hulk, RRRRRROOOOOAAAARRRRGGGHHH xx

Yes I detest confrontation and want to be liked. So odd how I marry someone who detects me. Read a good blog,UnPickled, which describes me to a tee exceor I binge drink rather than maintain, and I don't do housework! Atmosphere in house unbearable and maxed out with work. Please do hulk oh, want him thrown over a fence and out of my life. Nasty b*stard.

Detests. Not detects. On phone, not drunk

Go hulk baby!

looking is will be ok. It will get better- right now you've hit crisis point and something will have to go .him Sorry!

baby is absolutely right about your family's expectations- spot on there. How about taking a different approach- not today obviously,you're just putting one foot in front of the other today. You can't control him or work but you could seek some counselling for yourself. What I really mean is that you need an hour or two to yourself regularly,doesn't matter if it's hypnotherapy,yoga class,counselling or massage. It would be for you.

If push comes to shove,tell him you are sorting your drinking by going to aa. Leave every night at 6 pm and stay out for an hour and a half. Even if you don't really go,it would buy you some time to breathe. You poor thing.

Yeah what guggs said.....,

Had a really shit night last night, dd1 was at a friends who she hadn't seen since school broke up so she asked to be h

Hi all - long time lurker, first time poster. Mind if I hop on the bus?

Home by 12.30 driven by friends father with a few other girls. I had to leave the front door open and fell sleep only to dream I heard her scream "mum" so I leapt up and the time was 1.40am and I had a text from her at 12.20 saying she was nearly home. The front door was ajar and the light I left on still on so I was phoning her and it was voicemail and running up and down the street convinced she had screamed and been taken!!!!!!!

Turns out she was in her bed the whole time and forgot to lock the door and switch the lights off, I thought id checked her bed but clearly hadn't looked properly, after having a gigantic panic attack I woke dh up only to
Be told she was in bed!!!! I burst out crying and went on to having nightmares of various versions of her death and I've been crying on and off most of the day!!!

Nuts me no chance...

These dreams are really affecting my mood and my
Sanity aaaarrrggghhh xx

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to ALL of our new babes who have joined us or are re-joining us on our journey. :)

Looking hey sweetie. There's nothing I can add really, I'm just glad you're getting support from our lovely baby, who is also going through the mill, if I remember correctly xxx

Life is so hard at times, so cruel and mean. I hate reading the posts that babes are hurting. I wish I had a magic wand. :(

I've not read back properly as it's been busy with DH's Birthday (waits for Ma to offer DH a special 'treat'!)

And also our eight year Wedding Anniversary so we've had a lovely meal out, and we're out again tonight with friends.

My drinking is more in control than ever. And I have the morphine patches that I requested from my GP.

I'll keep an eye on the number of posts so we don't run out of room to talk and help one another :) xxx

Welcome bloodyusername hope you find lots of support here. Do you want to tell us any more? (you don't have to)

Also where has that faire got to? Probably away on an amazing holiday,I 'spect. And how about rural how did the op go?

Thanks everyone for the welcome.

I've been a bottle of wine a night person for far too long but I've recently been feeling really, really low. I've decided to cut out the booze for two weeks to try and work out if I'm depressed because I drink too much or drink too much because I'm depressed if that makes sense. I'm three days in and seem to have far too much spare time but I do feel much more in control of things which is nice.

I've been reading through the thread for inspiration and guidance and it's helpful to know that it's not just me.

Hi bloodyusernamewelcome to the bus, you are among friends.
well babes, I have got to day 11 whoo hoo! work meal out tomorrow so the battle conversation in my head has started, will I have a glass or not? the angel on one shoulder is saying No, no need you can have fun without a drink, the devil on the other is saying, Yes you have done 11 days so one or two won't hurt, you can stop again the day after . So back to the mantra 'one day at a time' I will see how I feel when I get there, what I am determined NOT to do however is open a bottle before I go which is what I would have done before, ensuring I was already merry before I got there, why I needed to be half sozzled before facing anything is a mystery to me still. babyjane that sounds a nightmare, I hate dreams like that they always feel so real. but glad DD followed the rules and got home safe. guggenheim that is really good advice to get out of the way as much as possible until you sort your head out enough to make a decision looking Happy anniversary mouse

Hi StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes, I'm already wondering if I can really go the whole weekend without a tipple or two but like you I'm going to take it a day at a time. I'm off out for drinks myself tomorrow and am dreading the "why aren't you drinking?" comments (I certainly don't want to explain the real reason). You've got a good few days under your belt though so think positive.

Hope he's abusing you and you support him financially Yes you went off the rails only due to the stress that work has put you under. Seriously, you are one of the most selfless mothers that I have known. You have provided for your DC and worked so hard in order to do that AND HE DOES THIS because ??? Hope you have been under immense pressure and DH/DP should understand and recognise that, shouldn't he? He sounds like a complete Wankbadger/Twunt and I so wish you weren't going through him as well as all your work crap. Pleaase believe me when I say your DC so love you very much and know what you do for them, as well as PAYING for everything they truly know that YOU LOVE THEM TOO sorry I am rambling xxx

Welcome bloody
Yes. Where is faire?
So babes, today I flew a glider. 3 times! Wearing a parachute! It was the most amazingly awesome thing I have ever done. The launch was terrifying to be honest, but soaring over the hill and loch was just brilliant. When the instructor said " you have control" I was so nervous but managed some turns on my own.
I am fifty and fabulous and can fly a glider - a little bit!!!!

Ma woo hoo - sounds amazing. Am delighted for you (and not at all envious grrr).

Hugs to everyone having it tough at the moment. This is a great place to be.

Name - sounds like we are at the same stage: I'm day four now and feeling ok. Finding vitamin B so helpful this time round. And a bit less tired today too. Good luck tomorrow with the night out: be good to yourself.

Mouse - happy anniversary: enjoy every minute xx

newname I've been so tired too, I didn't realise that was part of abstaining. I'm off to dig out my vitamins right now. Cheers babes

To wine or not to wine? That is the question.

DH and i are now off for two weeks holiday. I really fancy a glass of wine tonight. Do i open a bottle or not?

name what vitamin is it you use? how does it help? this is new to me, but happy to try anything.
littlewhite go away and do something else for 20 mins then come back and decide. are you going away?

I have made a cup of tea. I really want to make it to tomorrow as i originally said i was giving up for three weeks and i will have achieved that if i don't drink tonight.

DH and i are going to a wedding near Manchester on Saturday then having three nights in London. We will be at home for the remainder of the time.

I am quite sure i will have some alcohol during our time away but i will take each day/situation as they come.

Hello to the oldies and the newbies.

ma Gliding sounds fantastic. You are a brave babe with wings.