The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sipping Super Summer Mocktails Whilst Soaking Up Some Sun.

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm what some would call a 'controlled' drinker these day, but I wasn't always and I'm not alone on this wonderful bus, Gerald, when I say that.

We have drinkers who drink each day, those who abstain completely and those who are not sure what it is that they actually want just yet....

We won't judge you for drinking, no matter what your reason is, we've all been in your shoes somewhere along the way!! And we have ALL used every excuse under the sun too!

We have some Babes who ride on the Roof-Rack, (clinging on for dear life ) and then we have an expandable Side-Car, which some Babes use, but the bus, well, the bus, our wonderful Gerald, who takes us here and there, to pick up people in need of an unbiased and much needed ear to listen to. :)

There are lots of ears on this bus, and not a single one will turn you away and not listen!

Two things that we do believe here are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

If you are lurking and reading this thread, there is a reason for it, isn't there?

Stay lurking or come and say hello! We don't always bite.

And for those who'd like a bit of history, HERE'S THE LAST THREAD

And of course, THIS IS WHY WE ARE ALL HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, A VERY AWE INSPIRING READ

See you soon x

Looking A ((hug))) from me, in between meetings. I bet they'll all be along soon. hang in there sweetheart.

Hey looking, I've found that things are never as bad as they seem after a walk. Are you able to get a bit of fresh air at lunch break? In meantime, echo Indie's deep breaths recommendation .

Did you want to share or is it too painful? A big, big bosie from me in the meantime. We are all here for you, it's a new day, try to get through it as best you can lovey, I wish I could be of more help. I do know this, the negative thoughts grow arms, legs and teeth if you dwell on them.

Will come back as soon as I can xx

Oh big hugs looking. We've all been there. That bloody demon drink. Hope you're ok. Xxxx

looking what would be the one best thing you could do now to improve things for yourself? You are still working in an intolerably stressful place, this is part of what is making you desperate to 'tune out' and relax at the end of the day, the habitual way you do that is by drinking, and now it sounds like that has caused you to mess up. And on top of that you're feeling crap.

So you can help yourself by re-hydrating, getting some fresh sir, breathing as other have suggested, and don't add unnecessary guilt and shame to everything else. Forgive yourself and take action.

You could face whatever happened and apologise, or find some way for damage limitation.

You could take some time off work to get a break from the stress.

You could try to break the cycle of drinking to alleviate stress / anxiety.

However horrible things feel at the moment, sometimes it is in these really awful places that we find the resolve to get out (see JWN's very first post). Personally I think that simply trying not to drink as a response to stress is going to be an uphill battle unless some of the underling stress is also changed.

Hey there looking hope you've been for a bit of fresh air and a fat coke. Can you go off sick for the rest of the day?

You need to give yourself a break,I know it seems impossible. Call in sick. If you have a numpty of a boss who "doesn't believe in time off",as I did then just go ahead and do it anyway. You have every right to give yourself time to be ill and recover in (I don't just mean from a monster hangover)

Honestly,you can't think straight when you're in a toxic job. You need a bit of time to sort out your cv look round and find out what else is out there. There ARE plenty of jobs where people earn good money and are well treated.

Please go to your dr and ask to be signed off for the rest of the week or month.

Best wishes and a hug x

And here is my favourite calming breathing technique.

Stand with feet hip-width apart, and knees soft and relaxed. Breathe OUT slowly and steadily for a count of six, then breathe IN slowly and steadily for a count of three (so twice as long out, as in).

The OUT breathe is the important one, it gets the stale CO2 out from all the deep dark corners of your lungs - pull in your abdomen and your diaphragm until you feel you have reached a point of emptiness (don't strain or hold your breathe, just gently push it all out). After this you don't have to actively breathe IN - simply relax your abdomen and your diaphragm, let your tummy swell outward and the air will be easily drawn in filling your lower chest, the middle of your chest and the upper parts of your lungs. So no need to gasp or pull in a big breathe, just let you full lung capacity fill naturally.

This is the opposite of a panicky breathe which is rapid shallow and in the very top part of our chest, sometimes barely making it beyond our nose and throat.

This pattern of breathing re-oxygenates your blood, slows your heart, and leaves you feeling both relaxed and energised. While I am doing the out breath I push my hands gently away from me (hands facing outwards about level with my tummy button) and imagine pushing out and away anything I don't want. Then on the shorter IN breath I pull everything clean, fresh, invigorating in towards my tummy button.

I sometimes do this breathing listening to tis piece of music

looking you have been under the most excruciating pressure, we on this bus are predisposed to turn to alcohol, I don't think anyone of us would not have cracked under the bloody awful circumstances. Your family love you and must be aware of the strain your enduring and will forgive you!!!

More importantly the cumulative impact of this stress crisis will end badly if you don't get some time off NOW an get down to your doctor pronto, huge big hug xxx

looking....hope you are feeling a bit better by now. Tomorrow is another day....write this one off and dont dwell on it.

i know how hard it is to just STOP working like this - because i carried on for another 6 months before i had a massive melt down and couldnt work because i couldnt even get out of bed.....

do something now before you get to that stage love, you dont even need a sick note for the first 7 days.....take a little bit of time back for yourself and access what next.

stress is a massive factor in this - its not just about drinkiing.

i do hope you are ok....

Venus - beautiful! Thanks x

Looking I hope as the day has worn on you are feeling better physically and mentally. I think the worst part of a bad hangover is the depression and self-loathing - I can put up with the headache (thinking I deserve it), but the 'lowness' is just awful (('nother hug)). I think when we feel like that it is easy to think it eclipses everything, but it doesn't, you are still the most important member of your family and you are just going through a very tough time of it. It doesn't wipe out everything you do for them or they feel for you, even though it feels like it at the time. Listen to the babes - all been there and done that (ad nauseam).

I hope you managed to get some time off today, if not, I hope you are on your way home soon. Cup of tea, warm bath and an early night for you I think ma cherie, non?

Tomorrow won't be half as bad - you'll see. Sending you fairy dust from across the sea (sprinkle, sprinkle) x

can i just ask you babes when i will start to feel physically "better"? its been 8 days - not totally and utterly dry but from a bottle and a half of wine a night ive had 2 glasses of wine in the 8 days.....and copious amounts of soft drinks. and tea. and coffee.

and i feel like death warmed up!

im going out running every other day.
im under 11 stone for the first time in 6 months.
im not sleeping at all well - sleep has gone totally tits up....i took a zopiclone on monday in a futile attempt at sleep....(i take them very very rarely and they are prescribed for me for those nights - its a small dose of 3.75mg) and i could not move off the bed on tuesday morning! i actually had to phone in sick at work, which is crap considering i havent had to do that even when at my boozy worst....

someone tell me this gets better?

It gets better vicar, when I first cut down I didn't sleep well but it was just temporary.

Hope your feeling better Hope. The depression that can accompany a hangover is the worst :(

I'm on day 0.5 today...had half a bottle of rose last night, for no particular reason, it was just there. There was about 30 mls left in the bottle and I drank that this afternoon so I can't even claim to be on day1. I don't much like counting days for all the reasons baby said but if I don't keep an eye on them I'll easily find myself drinking every day, and drinking too much. I still feel I'ma long way from bbeing a normal drinker, I'm just managing to stick to the recommended limits but it's very forced.

Soc well done on 80 plus days, loving your posts :)

Hello bus folks.

Hugs to looking. You are having a rough time. Hang on in there and keep posting. We will support you no matter what.

I came on to have a moan but in the grand scheme of things maybe i should just shut up and count my blessings. I am now on holiday for over 2 weeks so i can't really complain.

I really want to open a celebratory bottle of wine but i am not sure that will be great idea as i am on my own with no-one to share it with. Stupid DH has been in London today and has managed to go to the entirely wrong airport for his flight home. He is now booked on a very late flight back an will stay in Edinburgh instead of coming home.

Vicar I am almost three weeks in and still do not feel great. I have an overwhelming feeling of exhaustion all the time.

Anyway moany time over for now. Am away to peer in the fridge in the hope that inspiration will strike and i will think of something fantastic to do with some mince, three eggs and a tub of coleslaw. Or maybe it will be toast again.

i hope looking checks in just to let us know she is ok....

thanks for the hope, im so fed up when i should be feeling on top of the world....i dont think ive felt this tired, flat and unmotivated in a long time.

going to drag my sorry arse off the park soon and walk the dogs.....must get my head into gear for work tomorrow....all i want to do is lay in bed.

I actually think i used wine to mask the fact that i have felt tired, flat and unmotivated for a long time... I am just recognising it now.

Hello all. Been here before in a different guise - determined to try again. Really just wanted to say hugs to looking - we haven't 'met' as such but I do read your lovely posts in a lurky fashion, and I just wanted to say I am thinking of you. Others have offered wise advice, and I do hope you know you have many friends here.

Vicar, I am only on day 3 but I am beyond shattered, so I do empathise. I feel fine generally, but so, so sleepy. I could stay in bed all day. Touch wood I am sleeping well at night for the first time in ages, so maybe as someone on here said recently (maybe it was you?!) it is just my body starting to say ahhh, that's what proper sleep feels like, I'll have some more of that please. I do remember from my last af period that i was exhausted and physically very up and down for at least a month. Which doesn't seem very fair, when new-sobriety has so many other issues to contend with! Anyway, i hope you start to feel better soon.

Hope everyone is doing well. Does anyone know how Mouse is? I haven't been on the boards that much recently but don't recall seeing her lovely posts of late.

Hey all
Tomorrow the Brave Babes Airborne Division is launched as I take to the skies for a days lessons in flying a glider! Am beyond excited. Have wanted to do this for years.
littlewhite you are doing brilliantly!

Oh, and distracted chap sent me a very interesting email

The wisdom and kindness on this lovely bus humbles me beyond belief.

looking I hope you feel a little better. Please, you need to take some time off. Speak to your GP, they will help, truly they will. You need to have a break from this, your workplace is destroying you piece by little piece. You need to get away, even if it's just for a long weekend, somewhere peaceful, with minimal distractions, where you can have a chance to gather yourself a little and regain the strength you have there, hidden away under layers of strain.

On way home, a wee bit late getting away again. Will check in a bit later, xx

ma!! An airborne division? Da da da da dada dada

Wow! You lucky thing! What a treat!

little like everyone else on here, my ears and broad fat shoulders can multitask, like Frasier Crane, I'm listening xx

distracted chap sent me a very interesting email ok I shall be the one to ask..... WHAT DID IT SAY??????

I second that sentiment Eccles

(Speaks the cowardly lion)

Come on then ma. Spill. What did the e mail say?

ma? where are you ma?