Ex has done something horrific.... wwyd? Warning, graphic. ***[Edited by MNHQ STRONG WARNING - POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING]***

[MoonshineWashingLine]

I am horrified, ex-p has hospitalised some poor girl he's been sleeping with. They were having very rough sex and he has severely damaged her insides. I get the impression this is someone he has been meeting up with specifically for rough sex so it was consensual and entirely accidental. He is mortified and has spent the whole night and day in hospital with her.

We have only been split up for 4 months and he's been sleeping around loads. It doesn't bother me but we also have a 2yo dd together so I have to prioritise her.

He is already having counselling and anger management and has just been told by his therapist to go to the gp regarding sex addiction.

Wwyd? I am in shock. I don't know what to do for best. I have to know what happens with it all so I can make decisions regarding him seeing dd but I don't want to get too involved. The whole thing makes me feel a bit sick :(

This is so disturbing. No you cannot consent to this. Sure the police will be involved. There is rough sex getting out of hand and there is serious sexual assault.

Get this man out of your life OP. I wouldn't want him anywhere near my child.

I'd be being pro active here and phoning social services myself.

Poor girl

No, your dd has a right to be protected from a man like him

If you consider only his "rights" you are very much mistaken (and probably still suffering from the emotional abuse he subjected you to)

you cant consent to being fisted?? are you kidding me? who is it up to then?

It sounds exactly to me like neither of them thought anything like this would happen ffs and is absolutely horrified and staying at the womans bedside

He doesn't have a 'right' to see dd. Your dd has a right to a relationship with her father, if that relationship is in her interests. Which I seriously doubt this one would be.

I would think he waved goodbye to his "right" to see his daughter the moment he ripped apart another young woman's body. I agree, call the police yourself.

I worry for you, Bran, I really do

You are so hung up on "consent" your brains have fallen out of your arse

Bran, you can't consent to bodily harm. Which is what this is in the eyes of the law.

I can think of another reason why he's staying at her bedside.

yes im definitely hung up on consent. imo its the only important thing when it comes to sex.

So can I

he wants to make sure she doesn't dob him in and he can control what she tells the police

He severely damaged her insides.
Why play that down, branleuse?
We don't know what he did, or how but safe to say it was something pretty fucking brutal and with not much regard for her welfare.

teaandthorazine i know you cant and i think thats a pile of shit. I remember when that law was passed.

Social care - now!

This is terrible, let's not get caught up in nonsense and support the op

I would never usually comment on something like this, but I think you should stop letting him in your house and / or near your daughter, immediately. There's something really wrong sounding about this (beyond what's obvious).

teaandthorazine i know you cant and i think thats a pile of shit

Well lucky for this poor girl, you don't make the laws.

I might call them myself, it has crossed my mind. I think he is still trying to impose himself on our lives to some extent. I can't seem to get rid of him. I think he still wants to exert some kind of control over me by involving me in his life.

And of course you can consent to being fisted, I doubt you'd be expecting to be severely injured.

Consent isn't the be all and end all anyway. There are people who offer themselves up for horrific abuse, any normal non-abusive person would urge them to seek help rather than take them up on the offer.

if that turns out to be the case, then obviously that would be awful. Not the way im reading it, but i dont know any of them or the back story.

It is worth bearing in mind that just because you find something sexually repulsive, it doesn't mean other people wont be consenting enthusiastically to it. The woman here has been infantilised by everyone. noone knows what happened

I think you need help immediately OP. This sounds like someone very messed up, and very on the edge, who could be turning nasty/nastier.

I am very worried for you.

'The woman here has been infantilised by everyone'

No, the woman here has been severely injured and hospitalised by this man.

he has a right to see dd

No, he doesn't. Contact is about the right of the child to see the parent. When that parent is as clearly dangerous as your ex, then she's best kept away from him. Why are you worrying about his rights, anyway?

I can't seem to get rid of him

Don't answer the phone.
Don't store his shit.
Don't let him shower at your house.

Pretty simple, really.

He's done a real number on you if you still feel in some way responsible for him. And if you don't think there's anything wrong with him giving you the details of his violent sexual abuse over a cozy phone chat.

I actually find this too distressing to read...

Thanks for all your replies so far. I am worried too rosepetal, the implications of this could be huge. For now though going to have try and get some sleep so I will catch up in the morning.