Ex has done something horrific.... wwyd? Warning, graphic. ***[Edited by MNHQ STRONG WARNING - POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING]***

[MoonshineWashingLine]

I am horrified, ex-p has hospitalised some poor girl he's been sleeping with. They were having very rough sex and he has severely damaged her insides. I get the impression this is someone he has been meeting up with specifically for rough sex so it was consensual and entirely accidental. He is mortified and has spent the whole night and day in hospital with her.

We have only been split up for 4 months and he's been sleeping around loads. It doesn't bother me but we also have a 2yo dd together so I have to prioritise her.

He is already having counselling and anger management and has just been told by his therapist to go to the gp regarding sex addiction.

Wwyd? I am in shock. I don't know what to do for best. I have to know what happens with it all so I can make decisions regarding him seeing dd but I don't want to get too involved. The whole thing makes me feel a bit sick :(

Here is the link. There is a ten pound fee, which you can pay by Paypal.

www.naccc-safereferrals.org.uk/About.aspx

Thanks everyone, I managed a bit of sleep, feel rough as toast now though :(

Thanks for the link Fideliney, will look in to it.

moonshine. ...you are procrastinating. you need to ask yourself - why?
getting him out of your life and safeguarding your dd is easy as picking up the phone. once you do that, the responsibility is taken off you. someone else can deal with him. if he wont leave you alone, report him to police for harassment. The police can issue a first course of conduct warning. if he continues, he can be arrested for s2 harassment.

your mother is so wrong on this its worrying. her advice has been very bad. notify social services. they will help YOU to keep him away from your dd. and you. its that easy. for some one saying thats what they want you sure are finding reasons to not do it.....if its truly what you want its easy to do. 2 phone calls. ss and police. 101 for non emergency, 999 if he turns up at your house.

What you going to do? Wait until it's all over the news that he's killed someone?

You need to seriously get your head out the sand.

If that sounds harsh, it's meant to.

I'm seeing the health visitor on thurs and women's aid are hopefully calling me back tonight. I just want to see what they both say before doing anything else.

I'm glad you are following up, OP.

As a man - its horrible to read this - still controlled by her ex partner from afar (well close)

ring and start the ball rolling

"I just want to see what they both say before doing anything else."

you know what to do - please find the strength to do it

Let's not hang the man yet! He may have been a shit partner but no charges have been pressed and she's gone home with him so it doesn't sound like an attack. It currently sounds like an accident to me, these things happen. DP and I were having perfectly vanilla sex when he managed to tear me externally so god knows what a more boisterous session could end up in!

fifi we know he has anger issues, is controlling and has a penchant for violent porn. Which is probably enough to know that whatever landed the woman in hospital was not a freak accident.

I disagree. By all means have contact supervised until you have the facts. Then act on the facts accordingly. A knee jerk he was emotional abusive to me and watched poem therefore he intentional hurt this woman and is a danger to our child helps no one.

I think fifi's correct in so far that we don't know the facts of the incident and there's even more than a suggestion that he's making it up.

However, I think there's enough here without all of that for the OP to protect her daughter and extricated herself from this man.

I think the 'attack' needs to be regarded as irrelevant for the moment. It quite possibly never happened at all, given the inconsistencies in this man's stories.

THe crucial issue is to get him out of the OP and her DD's lives.

Agree with sgb- we don't know exactly what happened but we know that this is an ex husband with anger issues, violent porn habit and and stalker tendencies who, for some bizarre reason, likes to keep his ex partner fully appraised that he is sleeping with loads of women, that he meets them for rough sex and he has just sexually injured someone so badly she had to go to the resus room.

The dynamic here is very wrong indeed. Op needs to protect herself and her dd.

Crikey is it actually possible to get in touch with women's aid? Been trying for ages as they haven't rang me back :(

Very difficult these days I believe..

However, what is it you need from them? A place to go or advice?

Advice really. I'm still trying!

Its just going straight to answer phone now so left a message again... oh well will try again tomorrow.

Is it local or national WA you are trying?

National! Local one is shut. Might try ringing them in the morning though even though dd will be about...

Try emailing them.

is the information on their website? maybe ask here too - there's many knowledgeable folk around these parts :)

keep trying - they're just so busy now that it takes time to reach everyone :(

If you can't get through to WA try CRI - they will be able to help you

Just cease contact!