Dating thread 76

[LoisPuddingLane]

As we were saying...

Oh Jarlin he sounds pretty special though definitely a keeper!!

Well I've had three dates with the tall postie now and although I do like him a lot I don't get all excited every time he texts!

I suppose after our weekend away in ahem a double room I may have a better idea of how I feel. Hoping for fireworks flying out of the four poster!

Jarlin, he sounds so great! I'm glad it went well.

Thanks everyone for your advice. Yesterday I was feeling a bit despondent as I wasn't keen on anyone messaging me. Today has been totally different!

I've been having conversations with so many great guys, I'm struggling to keep up! I also have a few dates in the pipeline! They're all so keen to set one up quickly I'm finding.

I've progressed to what's app status with a guy I'll call Mr American who is so far out of my league it's ridiculous! But, I've also been talking to another guy who I'll call Mr LMFAO. We've really clicked by message. He's so funny - I'm laughing at every message. I'm enjoying speaking to him so much that I don't want to chat to anyone else. I know I shouldn't put all my eggs in one basket though and I'm not playing it very cool!

What do you do when one person makes you want to cancel all your other dates?

SingleSock, you keep repeating: "it's not real until it happens, it's not real until it happens, it's not real until it happens" and you carry on chatting to any bloke that you enjoy chatting to and you keep those other dates and go and meet them.

Did you ever go and see a film after reading the book and being really disappointed that the lead character was nothing like the one in your head from reading the book? Keep that in mind because the man you think Mr LMFAO is might be a tad different in the flesh.

pink that's fast!! A weekend away! What if the sex is rubbish and you're stuck with him all weekend?? You'll just have to keep practising till it improves lol!!!

jarlin he sounds very lovely and you both are being mature and communicating instead of letting it fester and ruin what could be something good!

single yeah I remember the witty texts snakeskin trouser man and I exchanged! I only saw him the once....I wonder why??

Cinema for me on Friday, Mr Keen is picking me up! My legs are still very, very hairy!! Wax appointment not until next Friday....may have to bring it forward! I hate first time getting naked with someone!

Jarlin I'm so glad you had a good talk and that he understands he needs to make you more of a priority.

Singlesock I'm in a similar situation - I'm messaging one man I like so much more than the others and feel I want to meet him first.

Beforeandafter has hit the nail on the head singlesock. I'd go on dates you have lined up as u ate least want something to compare it to as well. I went on a date with mr tinder followed the next night by mr pof. I def preferred mr pof but waited til we had been out again until I said to mr tinder I didn't think it would work. Before that I'd been chatting for over a week to both of them and a couple of others.

I would just enjoy the chats. I did have another date lined up and he disappeared into nowhere which as it turns out was fine as I'd double booked him with mr pof. Who I am tentatively seeing now so it's all worked out well.

Jarlin I'm so glad you had the chat and it sounds like it was hopefully very useful for moving the relationship forwards. I hope things start to improve for you x

So who has dates lined up this weekend? lets share!

I have date #3 with Mr Keen tomorrow, we have decided to change our cinema date to a pub garden in view of the weather! He's picking me up as I finish work tomorrow (teacher) and need a celebratory drink!

I have sort of dates lined up.

My boyfriend is coming to stop at mine and he will be coming with me to my niece's birthday party!! (if anyone remembers that...)

Not the most exciting date, but it' quite grown up and 'proper'...

Spending the whole weekend with my BF at his house. I don't know if that counts as a date!

Jarlin Well I told him I was taking him anway, and he didn't mention it again. I don't suppose he's happy with the idea, but I respect the fact that he's not made a fuss and I shall be mindful of that fact when we are there.

Folk that's sound great! How did you negotiate a deal with your brother? How's your son feeling about meeting your boyfriend again on Sunday - hopefully he's feeling calmer on that front?

I hope the weather stays as glorious as it is (assuming it's glorious where you are...)

So .. I spent good money on joining Match.com last week. Nothing much happening.

I've been on POF for 48 hours and am chatting to 3 guys. 2 of which know people that I know.

Is it ok to keep chatting to all 3? Feels a bit mean. And I def have an order of preference. My top one has asked me for a drink on Sunday evening and I'm
Flapping/panicking . Choice number 2 wants to meet for coffee on Monday. Do I tell them I'm chatting/ meeting others.

I keep thinking how would I feel ?

Totally out of my depth here. Any sensible words of wisdom from you more experienced daters?

Well I'm going on date 4 and 5 (weekend) with mr postie to Whitby which I'm looking forward to as the weather is going to be hot hot hot

I don't tell them Redundant unless they ask and then I will say if I am, they prob doing same anyway that's what dating is all about I think

Here's a refresh of the Dating Thread Rules:

1. The first rule of the Dating Thread is, you do not talk about the Dating Thread (with people you're dating)
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun, stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the Thread

Before I didn't really negotiate a deal. I just said I was taking him with me, that everyone else was in couples and I didn't know them, and that his daughter would be my priority as it is her party. The reality is, that it will be fine, but he gets himself so wound up with "what ifs..." that, in his head, become certainties...

My son is ok about seeing him again. He'll be seeing him on Saturday night, too because we're all going somewhere together, but they will be sleeping at their dad's as it is actually his weekend. I think last weekend felt huge to him, but this weekend, my boyfriend will be joining us on something we're doing, rather than us going to see him. I think my son feels more comfortable with that.

redundant I think you need to accept that they are talking to other people. That's how it works. So it's not a case of how would you feel, but how do you feel.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket, and all that.

Redundant I found Match a total waste of money. I much prefer POF - more crap to wade through but at least there are some good 'uns in amongst the chaff. That said I am abstaining from dating at the moment.

If your Poffees ask if you're chatting to anyone else keep your response high level and light, just something like "no more than you are" or similar. Honestly, don't open up this avenue out of guilt - they're not feeling guilty, I promise you. Even if they say you're so special, our connection is so strong blah blah blah.

Keep your dates lined up - until you meet them, nothing is real. Sometimes they don't show up at the date (even when they seem really really really keen) and, in all reality, they will be chatting to others and, probably, dating others even if they say they're not. If one gets possessive now about you chatting then that is a red flag and is not romantic and a sign of a real connection. Rule 4 is spot on - it really is BS until it happens. Just enjoy chatting to all of the ones you like for now and revel in the attention... You can start weeding them out once you've met them!

Oh dear - I'm breaking several of those rules. Thanks everyone for your advice. Despite this I really really like Mr LMFAO. He's been texting me all day and was really keen to set up a date so I am seeing him next Wednesday. I know I shouldn't get attached because it's possible he's nothing like this in RL but he's so effortless to talk to. The catch is, I haven't seen a photo of him. I'm not that bothered about looks though.

I have a date tomorrow with someone I'll call Mr Flattery. He's sweet enough but I'm not really feeling it with our conversations. I've made sure I'm only staying an hour with him tops. I only agreed to it because he'll be in the area on Friday. I accidentally let slip that I'm chatting to other men and he seemed a bit wounded .

Then Sunday I have a date with Mr American. He seems nice enough but I'm not looking forward to it because he's out of my league and massively so. I feel like he'll be disappointed!

I've agreed to two other dates. One I think is arranged for next Friday but I'm not sure as I haven't heard from him since. Not keen on him really anyway. Then another who seems lovely and I like talking to but I have no idea where to fit him in. He asked last. And if I'm honest, I only want to talk to Mr LMFAO anyway. I know I shouldn't.

I've had to start ignoring new messages because I can't maintain all these conversations and I literally have no time to go on any other dates. I'm secretly hoping that I'll be able to delete my account after Wednesday but don't want to jinx it or get my hopes up. I feel like I've gone about this the wrong way .

Arrgghh! I'm panicking now that Mr LMFAO is going to be a no show. I've really felt a connection with him but I guess it's easy for them to BS by message. I keep thinking this is too good to be true. There will be a catch and I don't know what it is. I wonder if he's a playa. He's flattered me - he seems too natural at it.

Errr, Single, why haven't you seen a photo of your favourite? That is not a good sign... What did he say to you make you think no photo was OK once you'd started messaging?

Has he asked you for more photos (a pet hate of mine...)?

He has said that he hadn't got round to setting up his profile properly yet as he has only half heatedly been searching. He's evasive if I ask him to send me a photo. He's acknowledged that he thinks he's ugly so I thought it was a lack of confidence? He's not asked me for any photos. He's been sweet, funny, charming, appropriate. But I can't shake the feeling that this is too easy. There has to be a catch!

I think I may just be a booty call for mr American. He's going to be very very disappointed if so .

Ok thanks. Think I'm flapping and over thinking .

I'm guessing it's a big NO to give your number out when asked . My first choice has given me his. But I've not reciprocated .