Dating thread 76

[LoisPuddingLane]

As we were saying...

[AndCatMakesThree]

A quick question ... if someone described themselves as a bit old-fashioned in their profile, would it put you off?

[BeforeAndAfter]

Singlesock that's sounds soooo positive!

Cat It wouldn't put me off - he might just be a bit traditional in terms of good manners and chivalry or hating text-speak or some such. Of course he could be a boring old fart...

I'm always put off by a man describing himself as tactile. I don't know why as holding hands and the like is very important to me but in a profile it just summons up thoughts of a groper!

[Stupidhead]

Haha! Yeah 'tactile' smacks of clammy wandering hands!

When I met my fiancé online we absolutely got on like a house on fire, proper belly laughing through messages and emails. He pushed for a date quickly - two weeks later - and I wanted to go as we got on so well BUT I wasn't sure if I fancied him! I remember I kept clicking back on his profile to check out his photos and thinking...maybe...not sure...hmm no.

After our date that was it! Its like he'd been invented for me and I hadn't realised that my 'type' was him. So if you get on initially online it's totally worth going on a date! Even now almost 4 years later I think 'phwoar'

[SingleSock]

Cat, I don't think old-fashioned would put me off either. You should definitely give them all a chance maybe if you've enjoyed talking by message. This guy was nothing like I expected him to be!

It was a bit of a disaster if I look at it in the cold light of day. He'd been out with his colleagues before hand and they came to the pub I was meeting him in. I understand why he brought them though because I wasn't meant to be stating long. Turns out one if his colleagues knew me from school and had told him a lot about me. Apparently nothing bad but I didn't like that. Also, when I first walked in, I thought one of his friends was my BIL and I had a look of horror on my face.

He was better looking than in his photos and I really liked his quirky sense of style. He was playing guitar and being quite funny and sweet. I drank my wine too fast and got pissed. Oops. In my drunken state I walked into the men's toilets and they were all howling with laughter . We kissed outside before I had to leave. Pretty good kisser actually .

But then he started messaging me saying he liked me, could I come back and meet him, etc. He knew I had gone to see my friends and sister. I ignored his messages as I was busy and it felt like he was after a booty call at this point. Then he sent one saying I take it you don't want to see me again. Um, I did but you're making me change my mind! He's text this morning to apologise.

I have a date Sunday and another Wednesday with a couple pending me telling them when I can meet so I'm not sure what to do now. Do I be honest and say I have other dates so I want to find out how they go? I think I'd meet him again as the basics were there.

[Stupidhead]

Single sock. Maybe it wasn't a booty call, maybe he was away from his friends and wanting to see you again? Or he'd got drunk and brave and thought you'd be around the same pubs? Always assume the best but have the worst tucked away in your pocket!

[louby44]

single That sounds like a good date! Definitely see him again, you can't tell if it can go any further after a couple of hours - you maybe need to see him in a quieter environment without the distractions of other people.

I think when someone says they are old fashioned it just means they have old fashioned values, it certainly wouldn't put me off.

I had date #3 with Mr Keen and he is still very keen. He certainly needs some help with his dress sense!! Although to be fair he says after losing quite a bit of weight not many of his clothes fit him!

We went for a drink (he drove) and he came in for coffee at the end of the night! I was very impressed with myself as I kept my clothes on - no mean feat after an 8 month drought! He tried it on and I let him to a point but wasn't going there - still go hairy legs lol!

He's asked me to go clothes shopping & lunch with him tomorrow! I am child free all week so I may just go along and help him spend his money!

I like him, but I'm still not 100% sure!!

[Minime85]

Louby and singlesock sounds like you both had a good night .

[AndCatMakesThree]

SingleSock, sounds like an interesting date! I think you're very brave - I'm always nervous enough meeting someone for a first date without having to meet all their colleagues as well! I like Stupidhead's advice about assuming the best but having the worst tucked away in your pocket!

I don't know what to suggest about whether you tell him you're going on other dates as well. I think personally I wouldn't make a point of telling him (after all, you don't owe him anything) but if he specifically asked, I'd be honest, because I don't like lying. Remember he may be doing the same!

Louby, sounds like another good date. Have you decided whether to go clothes shopping with him today? I'd quite enjoy that - one of my exes had no clothes sense whatsoever, and I loved helping him improve his wardrobe!

Thanks for the advice about the old-fashioned guy. I thought it was a bit of a red flag but it seems not from what the rest of you are saying, so maybe I'll give him a chance. He says he was brought up to stand if a woman comes into the room, which seems really weird to me. I think I'd laugh if he was jumping up and down every time I came into the room with a cup of tea or load of washing or whatever!

Folk, is it your niece's party today? If so, I hope all goes well, and that your brother manages to be polite and friendly to your boyfriend.

[millymolliemandy07]

Hi all

Quick question.
What do you think are the rules of texting? By this I mean if he texted last time is it my turn to text next?
Last time I dated we didn't even have mobile phones ;)

The reason I ask is that my friends think if I sent the last one (a few days back) I should wait for him to make contact. I am wondering if men even notice this kind of thing!!

[louby44]

milly I tend to think like this too! It's like a conversation and yes I would tend to take turns.

But then sometimes after a few days you can start the conversation up again so I think you could text him again!

I'm going shopping with Mr Keen tomorrow!

[millymolliemandy07]

Louby- shopping and lunch sounds fun.
Do you think he is growing on you?
I am finding the whole thing hard work. The more men I meet or chat to the more I think I might be happier staying on my own -at least I'm spared waiting for a text and wondering whether to text etc

[MadeMan]

@ milly - I liken texting to a game of tennis; if you're constantly hitting serves at them and getting no returns, then you find someone else to play with that can actually hit the ball.

[louby44]

made that's a good analogy!

milly He is growing on me but he's a very blokey bloke - if that makes sense! But he certainly has another side to him! I'm picking him up tomorrow so I'll get to see his house! Which I always found an eye opener!

[Sassy777]

Hi all, can I join you please?!

I have a text question too... I hate waiting around for texts... do most men just not like texting? Is it normal for someone to not reply for a few hours even if they're ill and I've sent them a text saying hope they're feeling better?

[AndCatMakesThree]

Hi Sassy, I quite like texting, but sometimes I don't reply to texts for several hours ... or even a day or two. It just depends what I'm doing, what the text is about, etc. So I wouldn't worry about not getting a reply for a few hours. And if he's ill, maybe he's sleeping?

But it depends on the situation between you and him, I suppose. For example, if it's part of a pattern of not communicating well, I might be more worried.

[millymolliemandy07]

Louby - I like seeing other peoples houses too. I think it can tell you alot about them. Hope it goes well.

Sassy-I'm in a similar situation. I usually reply quickly to texts unless I have company or am in the middle of something. But the guy I'm text talking to sometimes leaves hours between replies. I guess it makes me think he is losing interest, unfortunately this makes me keener as clearly I'm warped and only like those who don't come over too keen!!!!

[Sassy777]

It's so annoying and a little rude I think, especially if someone is asking after your welfare. But then I guess some people just aren't big texters? I think he prefers phone calls tbh!

[Sassy777]

And yes, I worry they're losing interest too as that's different to how I am. If I don't reply to a text for hours it's because I cba!

[MadeMan]

I reckon some people are just crappy texters. Even people I know really well occasionally send me stupidly vague texts that I just look at and think, "What are you on about?"

[millymolliemandy07]

Sassy - I agree. When I'm working up my courage to extract myself from someone I tend to cut down the texts and leave longer between them.
It is rude not to reply if you were asking if he is better.
Have you been seeing him long?
I'm just going to wait and see if he texts me (his turn) and if he doesn't I'll leave it and assume that's that.

[SingleSock]

Hi everyone.

I need urgent advice. I'm meant to be seeing Mr American tomorrow afternoon but I don't want to go. Any advice on how I cancel? I feel really guilty about it . I've seen a lot of men complain about 'time wasters' in OLD and I guess I am being one by cancelling at such short notice. I'm just dreading the date as I feel like he's out of my league and I suspect it'll be about a ons for him even though he keeps telling me he is genuine. Plus I feel guilty for going on a date when I could be with the DC. Anyone else had to cancel a date before?

[millymolliemandy07]

Sorry singlesock. I've always gone on the first one and then worried about declining the second.
If you really don't want to meet him what about saying you've met someone else and want to see how that progresses so it wouldn't be fair to meet him?

[SingleSock]

I've cancelled. Still feel guilty but it was for the best. Now I can look forward to the date with Mr LMFAO without feeling like I have to get tomorrow out of the way

[Minime85]

Sassy I think it depends on how they usually are re texting. If its a change in frequency etc then I'd think it could be a losing interest thing maybe