Dating thread 76

[LoisPuddingLane]

As we were saying...

[BeforeAndAfter]

Just tread carefully with Mr LMFAO. He might be a spotty 16 year old or, more than likely, married and just having some sport... Honestly, I wouldn't be getting attached without that photo. I know he could send you a fake one but no photo at all is very odd indeed.

I hope I'm wrong and that you come back and tell me what a cynical old bag I am.

[BeforeAndAfter]

Redundant I do give my number out once I'm comfortable that there's a connection but not until I think a date's likely. Some people have a cheap pay-as-you-go phone to use as a dating phone but I know that if I had two phones I'd never have the right one with me!

I would never ever ever give my address to anyone that I haven't met. Actually that's a lie. I booty-called a bloke I'd been chatting to on Times Encounters once - I'd had a really good night out and fancied topping the evening off with a fella! I can be very very bad sometimes

[SingleSock]

I'm finding this whole thing really hard. I thought I was cynical but turns out I'm way too trusting. I've given my number out several times now when I didn't want to really. And I'm agreeing to dates when I don't really want to. I need to get a back bone!

Mr LMFAO has sent me loads of pictures - most of which corroborate the things he tells me about his life. But no picture of himself. I'm paranoid that I already know him and that's why he won't give his number. In fact, he said he was 29 on his profile but then said 32 when I asked him by message. He said he didn't understand why it was wrong. I'm starting to get a horrible feeling about this! How do I ask him without sounding paranoid?

[BeforeAndAfter]

Single you have to find the switch in your head that you flick and you just remember that they're barely more than strangers and you owe them absolutely nothing and they owe you absolutely nothing until you've met several times and at some point you've agreed that you're exclusively dating (if that's what you want). At that point the old fashioned rules apply but not before.

If you don't want to give out your number then don't. What's the worst that will happen? They'll either carry on chatting to you on the site until you're ready (good sign) or go and chat to someone else (good riddance). Is that so bad?

As for Mr LMFAO's pictures corroborating the things he tells you maybe he's just spinning a story around the pictures? I could you tell you I lived in a 12 bedroom mansion and then send you a picture of my big house that I took while out on my paper round. Does that corroborate what I've told you about my life?

The trouble is you're now attached to Mr LMFAO so if you insist on a photo and he vanishes you will convince yourself that it's all your fault and that you lost the perfect man because you didn't trust him... and he may well make you feel like that. Maybe though, just maybe, he'll send you a photo and he's exactly as you hope.

I think you need one of the positive posters to join in this convo and help out as I'm feeling like the big bad witch...

[redundantandbitter]

I'm not giving my number out .

He's given me his, but I've said I can't reciprocate . If he doesnt like it, tough cookie .

I'm the same as singlesock - just agreed to go to an event with mr 3rd choice . Nice enough guy. But number one is handsome and funny. Number two is quirky and sarcastic . Number 3 is number 3 for a reason I guess. But the event sounds good and right up my street.

I don't like juggling guys. There's 3 messages everytime I log in and it feels really bad.

[BeforeAndAfter]

Actually I've just remembered from my dim and distant dating past chatting to a bloke who had no photo. He was funny in a cheesy way and I kept up the banter and the jokes saying "photo, photo, photo" so he said he'd only send me a photo if I gave him my e-mail address. I hadn't even told him my real name (because I hadn't had a photo). So I sent him my dating e-mail address (which uses my dating name). He then sent me a photo of his bum (very nice) with his hips turned at a coquettish angle so you just see the tip of his erect penis. It was all very artistic, very funny but that's where our budding 'friendship' ended.

[redundantandbitter]

[FolkGirl]

I don't like juggling guys. There's 3 messages everytime I log in and it feels really bad.

I used to love that!

I feel really bad now...

[FolkGirl]

Single It's funny, isn't it? If someone made genuine compliments based on things I'd said, then I took it seriously. If any of it seemed too much, I automatically assumed they were a player. I wasn't flattered by any of them.

I think there are times when crippling low self esteem have actually protected me

I generally didn't reply to any man who contacted me first and if there was anything in their profile that was offputting, I didn't reply to them. I didn't give anyone the benefit of the doubt at that stage.

Well no, that's not true, I went on a date with someone who described his education as "University/school of life". I've always used that as code for "twat". And I was right!

In fact, when I first met my boyfriend, he said at the end of the first date that there was 'something' about me and he thought that this could be something really special. When I posted on the Dating Thread at the time about it, I was advised he was lovebombing and insincere. But actually, I think he was just telling the truth! So you do have to be careful.

Redundant I'm different to a lot of people regarding giving my phone number out. I don't talk on the phone for a number of reasons. Mainly that I find it difficult to work out when it's my turn to talk, etc. So I only ever gave my number out when a date had been arranged, and only then so that we could text each other to confirm arrival times or to let the other know if we (usually me) were running a bit late.

If we got on well, there's be texting after that.. but that's it.

I know the advise on here is often to speak to them before meeting, but I can't think of anything worse!

My boyfriend and I don't talk on the phone now. I don't like or feel the need for lengthy conversations. I like text/email exchanges, but talking on the phone? No.

[jesy]

Why is life never easy x
Seen Mr IT a few times in last few weeks had a great time obviously there was that day out we're we spent pretty much whole weekend together
Last weekend he was meant to help me study but ended up in town a lovely time few drinks chatting playing in the park .
Nothing sexual going on just friends he been affectionate ie holding my hand.
Anyways yesterday I was with my ex ( long story I was mega upset )
And we were talking and he said from what I'd told him Mr IT likes me not sure what to think now I'd gone into friends zone with him

[Stupidhead]

Beforeandafter! Oh my days! I think I got the same pic many years ago haha! I also got a photo of a bum from another guy at least I thought it was. He'd sent me a pic of his bent knee/thigh, funny tho! Especially as he was a whisker away from being out in the weirdo file!

You've probably all forgotten me but I'm still engaged and loved up. I am getting some weird calls though. When my ex and I got back together I blocked all potential 'gentlemen callers' and lumped them together with PPI numbers so I won't answer. I'm getting calls every day...

Could be PPI but I ain't answering!

[Minime85]

I only gave my number out once and he text a few times then disappeared. The other times they gave me numbers first and always said no pressure but of want to text. I prefer texting to on the site.

Seeing mr pof tonight when I get back from hols and then we are going on our first public outing if you like as he is coming with me to an evening wedding do! Meeting my dcs on Sunday too! It's a full on weekend here. Hope everyone else has fun

[millymolliemandy07]

I only give my number out when I've arranged to meet someone as its easier to sort out times etc via text.
Also (sorry) but my non photo experience wasn't good either. Lots of excuses for lack of a photo and an invitation to Skype-which I declined. Swiftly followed up by a pervy message from him not me I hasten to add!!!
I too made the mistake of talking to everyone and lining up lots of dates but have now realised my me time is too precious to waste on people I'm not that fussed about meeting so I'm trying to be more selective :)
Good luck to those that have dates these weekend x

[FolkGirl]

jesy at the risk of sounding really really harsh (and I don't want to, this isn't the thread for that), you are making your life a lot harder than it needs to be.

Lots of contact with your ex; telling him about Mr IT; situation with Mr IT in itself all a bit weird - dumped you, holding hands, odd days out with him where his new girlfriend is present... seems to be a lot of game playing and ego stroking on their part, a desire to be loved and respected on yours...

It all just sounds rather unhealthy to me.

[jesy]

He hasn't got a new gf , he very much single .

Sorry II f it was wrong place to post but we wanted to watch

[jesy]

Say what was happening xx

[FolkGirl]

Of course it's not the wrong place to post

It's just that from the outside looking in at what you are posting, I think some of your heartache could be avoided by leaving some of these exes well alone.

I'm sorry, I thought Mr IT had a girlfriend. Was it not him who you went on the day out with when his girlfriend was there and everyone said you shouldn't because it would be upsetting to see them together (very shortened version!!) Or was that someone else? Or did I imagine the girlfriend

[SingleSock]

I have to set off for my date with Mr Flattery in a minute. I don't want to go which is a bad sign. He's text me asking if I'm ready yet! I'm not meant to be there for another half hour! Thankfully I'm only staying an hour. I will update later.

[Minime85]

Singlesock why don't you want to go? Might've better than u think I think all men think it takes a woman ages to get ready that's why. Literally I take 10 minutes I can't do make up as have no clue so that shaves loads of time!

[millymolliemandy07]

Singlesock - you sound like me! Looking forward to your update, hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised x

[SingleSock]

Arghhh! I like him!!! ! He's so much better looking than on his profile! I was not expecting this.

[Minime85]

Singlesock

[SingleSock]

m still on my date I was meant to leave half an hour ago! I'm slightly tipsy too!

[FolkGirl]

That's fab!!

[AndCatMakesThree]

That's great, SingleSock. And a good lesson for me - out of the 3 men I'm chatting to, there's only one I really want to meet, but you've encouraged me to meet up with the others too (if they ask me, that is!)