Friend arriving in 5...

[Sleepingbunnies]

Posted in chat too but thought I might get more responses here... My DP is arriving in 5 mins with my friend who has finally left her abusive partner after 13 years.

He bit her fucking face! I am so angry.

I have told her she can stay as long as she likes in our spare room but I thing she'll be back with him by the weekend, don't know why, just a feeling I have.

I want her to stay gone!

Hope you hear from her soon

I'm thinking of getting my DP to drive to the flat... Tell me to calm the hell down!

Officially worried - not quite yet ....

She is a grown woman and has probably gone for 'that chat' with her DH

Just pour us another glass of that lubberly wine! (hic!)

And what would your DP do if her car is there?

It would put your mind at rest to know where she is ..... but then you would want to know what she is doing in the flat and if she is in danger.

We have stinky hamsters that refuse to die.

Oops. I see that talk has moved on from the dog/guinea pig chat to serious stuff again. Fingers crossed that everything is OK.

My sister used to keep gerbils... One of those fuckers lasted waaaaaaay longer than any pet Iv ever known! She was willing it to die by the end dustbunny

She came to you last night bunnies when she needed you. She will come to you again if she is in any danger. Maybe she needs to talk some things through for her own peace of mind - if that is possible after what he did

sadwidow is right though, she is a grown woman. I know you care but she will contact you when she is ready.

I'll have too while you wait.

dustbunny - your 2 posts made me laugh!!

They only got the (much anticipated) hamsters for Christmas and already the kids are bored with them. Dancing monkey next time, I think.

I've always wanted a finger monkey - they do exist! So cute I'd get him a tiny bike and a swing and everything.

Any news sleepingbunnies?

Ok Iv just had a text asking if I can meet her about a 10 min walk from our house.

Is the text definitely from her even though it's her phone, given that you've had 3rd hand threats from her partner? Any chance you can take company? I wouldn't be going alone if there's any chance you could be confronted 1-to-1 by her partner.

You say NO if that inconveniences you!

You tell her she is welcome to talk to you in your home.

Do NOT walk into a trap with her DH

I have just gone into Mummy mode with SB

Slap me with a wet kipper!

Iv text her back and said that I'm in my PJs (which is true) and can't she just come here...

DP is refusing to let me leave the house apparently... He said it's not safe and if it is really her she can come here.

sad

Very sensible.

Did the text seem like it was from her? Is she going to come to your house now?

Excellent! Well done your DP.

He has got his sensibubbly head on even if you haven't.

You are investing far too much emotion into this scenario. You cannot rescue your friend.

You have to decide if your friend can have 4oz if support or anything up to a whole wagon load. But the more you invest in your friend, you are taking it from your own family. Remember that.

I'd guess she's agreed to go back to him and her DP has convinced her to agree not to go back to your flat because he's worried if you get her into the door you'll talk some sense into her.

I suspect that Longtalljosie has got it.

So, if she goes back, please don't see that you failed her. You didn't. She just isn't ready to leave yet.

But her DH will try to exclude you in the future.

Longtail is probably right.

Text reply was that she wants to talk to me first before coming in. Not answering phone when I call it. Iv replied and said I'd love to have her stay but I won't be going out to meet her. It took a lot for me to do that :(

You are still supporting her, but your husband is right that you shouldn't take risks and potentially be sprung by her partner. You are also in your PJs - not going out attire. You can be supportive whilst still having good, safe boundaries for yourself.