Red Flags?

[EasyTigeress]

Been seeing a guy for a month or so but getting warning signals and seriously thinking about just calling it a day now. There a few things I think are red flags and really just looking to make sure I'm not seeing things where nothing is there due to past crappy relationships although I would be quite shocked if I was told that. A few of the things are listen below:-

Makes very loose plans (probably more suggestions) and then doesn't mention them again for example "I'll come round tomorrow if your free, will text you tomorrow to confirm and then no message.

Makes firm plans and cancels at last minute.

If I have plans makes a big deal about having wanted to see me at that exact specific time

Doesn't like when I basically won't cancel said plans.

Wants to intrude on other plans. For example girls night out and want to come along.

Doesn't like when I don't allow him to intrude on said plans.

Can become very huffy about above with messages like "great, thanks then", "just forget about it" etc etc.

Writing it down makes me think he has control issues or something and whether I'm seeing things or not I'll still be ending it but there is just something not right about this is there?

Damn phone - sorry about typos.

Oh blimey - dump him! Your instincts sound correct.

Yes, don't waste any more time on this one.

• He's cancelling / letting you down too easily (so doesn't care how you feel - or is seeing if you'll put up with it)
• Trying to stop you going out without him (controlling )
• Trying to pressurise you with huffy responses (angry and controlling)

....And this is only the first few weeks!

Blimey.

After only four weeks?

Your gut feeling is absolutely right

Yup thanks ladies. As soon as I wrote it down and I had a "WTF are you doing moment". When you put it all together he sounds even more of a nutter than I was first thinking.

I'm not sure if I am attracted these kinds of men or if they meet me and I turn them haha.

Now, how to do the dumping? I'm really shit at this part.

Be the bigger person. .. and text him

ignore him for a bit, let it fizzle?

TheGirl that was what I was thinking too

I don't think he is the type to be ignore pirate. Generally speaking if I don't reply it is followed up with numerous texts and missed calls. (Wow what the hell was I thinking that I might be seeing things!!)

I'm thinking about sending a message saying "You are a nice guys ahem excuse the lies but I just don't think this is going to work out. Take care" or alternatively waiting about 2 hours until he moans about something else and just tell him I'm done dealing with this, I wish him well but we're done.

I would correct the nice guys (plural) but I don't think it's that far off from the truth. He certainly seems to have a split personality.

Just text him - 'This isn't really working for me so let's call it quits. Goodbye and good luck.' If he then makes a pest of himself, tell him to piss off or you will involve the police, and block any further contact.

Ok I'm sending "Hey, look I don't really think this is working out. Good luck with everything, take care x"

Don't do the take care x crap.

Ah shite it's already done. Like I said I'm not good at this. I always feel a bit bad.

i guess you sent it now - and i totally agree that it should be done! - but i kind of preferred the absoluteness of "goodbye and good luck" ... i like what SGB said ...

"i don't really think" is a bit open for persuasion otherwise and the kiss at the end, what's that about? However if you sent it already and it works as an ender, then yayyyy! If it doesn't then be harsher/clearer ... and no kisses ... !

I send a X to everyone, even to my boss. But if I need to send another I will make sure no X

I know it hasn't been read yet.

EasyTigeress - how can you feel bad about escaping from what would become a nasty situation? Stop man/people pleasing at your own expense .. please ...

Don't get drawn back into "conversation" if there is a response that denies your purpose. The purpose is to end this red flag relationship NOT to discuss it or share insights for the betterment of all ...

about the random x .. i would never text a kiss or word i didn't mean in real life .. to my mind if i did that it's a lie ... and i'd never kiss my boss .. ewwww lol

I don't feel bad about ending things. That was probably a bad word choice. But I always do things the "nice way". That probably is something I need to work on (and by that I mean stop)

With the x thing. I don't know I've always done it. I remember a ex friend sending a very bitchy/childish message and my response was "oh do fuck off x" I read it back after I'd sent it thinking WTF was that?

Reply

"Don't think you get to make that decision" uh oh. Ignore?

Ha. Oh my god yes ignore! And block if possible?

you've totally dodged a bullet there x OH NO STRAY KISS couldn't resist

Fuck, what a weirdo! Who says that in response to being dumped?!

Possibly 'yes I have made that decision and it is final, please do not contact me again'

But then after that don't engage anymore.

ewwww what a creepy response!! If it was me I'd just tell him to fuck off and never reply again after that haha

Well if you were in any doubts, you know for sure now. Blimey, what an oddball.

eeeew creepy!!!!!!! are you ok???? any more texts??????? oh god that's totally creepy