Red Flags?

[EasyTigeress]

Been seeing a guy for a month or so but getting warning signals and seriously thinking about just calling it a day now. There a few things I think are red flags and really just looking to make sure I'm not seeing things where nothing is there due to past crappy relationships although I would be quite shocked if I was told that. A few of the things are listen below:-

Makes very loose plans (probably more suggestions) and then doesn't mention them again for example "I'll come round tomorrow if your free, will text you tomorrow to confirm and then no message.

Makes firm plans and cancels at last minute.

If I have plans makes a big deal about having wanted to see me at that exact specific time

Doesn't like when I basically won't cancel said plans.

Wants to intrude on other plans. For example girls night out and want to come along.

Doesn't like when I don't allow him to intrude on said plans.

Can become very huffy about above with messages like "great, thanks then", "just forget about it" etc etc.

Writing it down makes me think he has control issues or something and whether I'm seeing things or not I'll still be ending it but there is just something not right about this is there?

Absolutely ignore. You've already made your position clear. He's just trying to keep some sort of conversation going.

I'm not au fait with all the new phones and stuff but surely there's a way to block numbers?

I think the only response I'd give is 'I'm really not interested in you at all, so no idea what you would be explaining, I'd appreciate it if you just left me alone, otherwise I may have to take further action as this is verging on harassment now'.

Just received another message apologising and wanting to chance to explain himself.

Translation; you got a message trying a different tack, and looking for an opportunity to talk you round.

Of course, if you were to hear him out, then still refuse to take him back on, it will become all your fault. You will be a cold blooded bitch, a headcase, an arrogant cow etc etc.

Why put yourself through it?

How You doing? can you block/ignore or is it hard?

Sorry ladies, ended up in bed quite early last night recovering from the night before I've ignored it. I do believe a reply would lead to another message then possibly another and another IYSWIM.

I had a missed call from last night but I was already asleep. I will check again today for a way to block his number.

Easy, I think you should be proud of yourself for a) seeing the red flags, early on in the relationship & b) acting positively to end it in a firm, uncompromising manner.

To me if a woman who has come out of an abusive marriage recognises the warning signs early in subsequent relationships, then she has moved on hugely and recognised the unacceptable. It is a positive thing.

Good luck!

Oh well done! And hell yes, your instincts are working well.

If you reply at all, I would say something like "Any further communication from you will be deemed to constitute harassment and will be reported to the police".

Looked online and I can block his number so have done that. He still has my house number but hasn't tried ringing that again.

If he does I will tell him that and if he does again I will ring the non emergency number to make sure it has been recorded should I need to progress with police action in future although I doubt it will come to that now.

He sounds embarrassed and remorseful in his texts but I strongly suspect he is deliberately trying to come off like that to try and sway my decision (he obviously doesn't know me too well at all). Even if he genuinely does feel it just now that will be temporary. He has proved what his personality is repeatedly, even though it took a while to put the pieces together. Hopefully he will back off and that'll be that.

I would like to thank all the supportive posters on the thread again. Although I had made my mind up to end the relationship sometimes others backing helps to keep you (me) strong.

Sorry I will tell him I'll contact the police and if it happens again I will ring non emergency etc etc

If he keeps on trying, you'll need to send him one message (a text will do) stating clearly that he must leave you alone and any further contact attempts will mean you contact the police.

AFAIK when someone has to involve the police to see off a pest, they do ask if you have made it clear to the person that you do not want contact.

Well done, anyway, you are handling the whole business really well.

Hope today has been pesty-text free Tigress?

Not a peep

Happy to hear it! May he fade into useless insignificance :)

Excellent, have a great rest of the week & do something nice at the weekend even if it's just a DVD & popcorn with your DC!!