Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH said no more tattoos

366 replies

ICanSeeTheSun · 15/05/2014 22:52

My vision is to turn my back into a canvas, I believe tattoo are art, so far I have 4 on my back.

I love them and it is a part of me.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
PitchSlapped · 15/05/2014 22:53

Its your body, he cant dictate what you do to it

starlight1234 · 15/05/2014 22:56

I suppose it depends on his reasons? I don't think a body covered in tattoos in attractive...That would be my objection..what is his?

I do have a tattoo by the way it is simply covering your self in them I don't like

PeriPathetic · 15/05/2014 22:57

My DH said that once. I was pregnant at the time and his comment was NOT well received Grin I've had another five since.

Vagabond · 15/05/2014 22:58

I think if that's how you feel, it's your body and you should do what you like.

BUT - do you want to be unattractive to you husband? Does he like your present tattoos? My DH came back very proud of his shaven head after a holiday in a v hot country and I found it very unattractive. Luckily, a bad hair only lasts a few weeks!

If you love art so much, why put it on your back where you can't see it? Get a painting! Wink

Original poster
ICanSeeTheSun · 15/05/2014 22:59

He doesn't like tattoo, he thinks it's a waste of money.

OP posts:
Longdistance · 15/05/2014 23:07

My dh has one on his upper arm/shoulder. I'm not keen on tattoos, he likes it, but won't be having anymore phwee I wouldn't want him to have anymore. If he were to put our dd's birth dates there (as there's room) I wouldn't have a problem, but doing his whole back, I'd be a bit Hmm about.

Does your dh not like them? Does he have one himself? Is money tight?

Original poster
ICanSeeTheSun · 15/05/2014 23:14

It would take a while to save, because we pat everything then what's left is split 50/50.

He don't have tats, in fact he failed to notice 2

OP posts:
Eekaman · 16/05/2014 01:19

I told my DW that I'd decided to stop washing or using deoderant spray.

She objected to this, but I told her it was my body and she can't dictate what I do to it and that would just have to put up with it.

Thats quite correct eh Pitchslapped?

(Btw, I do still wash, I was merely making an example :) but you knew that already I'm sure)

PatrickStarisabadbellend · 16/05/2014 01:25

My Dp won't let me have any tattoos.

BillyBanter · 16/05/2014 01:26

Well, yes it is. She can't make you wash, of course she can't. It is your choice.

MistressDeeCee · 16/05/2014 01:27

Difficult one. Whilst I believe you should do what you want with your body, I wonder if you care if you would look unattractive to your DH. I ask that, as you are married and with him, and he will have to look at your back canvas regularly. Possibly more regularly than you do, since it will be on your back and so is for others to see mainly, not you.

I dont mind 1 or 2 tattoos, as long as they're not huge. Any more than that though I find unattractive and off-putting. So whilst I still think you can't really tell someone what to do with their body Id hope if I were with someone who already had tattoos, and then he was thinking of going on to cover his whole back in tattoos, he wouldn't be averse to taking into account that as his lifepartner I would find his body decoration unattractive.

Mckayz · 16/05/2014 01:30

If my DH said I couldn't have anymore tattoos I'd tell him to fuck right off. It's got bugger all to do with him what I do with regards to my body.

But my DH isn't an idiot and encourages me to get more done.

ThatVikRinA22 · 16/05/2014 01:49

i have tattoos and plan more - some largei. my dh isnt a fan but he would never stop me - ive asked him if its an issue. he says he doesnt like them but its up to me.
and it is. my body. my choice.

MultipleMama · 16/05/2014 02:54

Have you asked DH why he doesn't want you to get anymore? Or why he's so against?

My DH wouldn't dare tell me to stop when he's got just as many as me and he'd just be hypocritial but if he gave a good reason I'd take the time to think on it.

I love tattoos. They're artwork and every one of mine tell a story.

Like many people say; it's your body. And that stated has been used so many times in many situations that you're just setting yourself up for one of those tit-for-tat scenarios.

sykadelic · 16/05/2014 02:55

He obviously finds them unattractive. You need to decide whether that's an issue for you.

livingzuid · 16/05/2014 03:29

It's your body and your decision. If they are a big part of you then he would respect that. I have two so far on my back and one day would love to have it all done! They are very special to me with a lot of personal meaning.

My Dh is very into tattoos so it is easier, but even if not he would say it was my choice and respect that.

Deftones · 16/05/2014 05:09

It's the whole 'being told what to do' I take umbrage with! Yes, he has an opinion, yes he can air it in a reasoned way, but to just say 'no' to something that concerns YOUR body? Well he'd get laughed at if I were you.

I'll be getting a full sleeve in the future, DP is tickety boo with that as he loves me and realises it's my body. If he objected in a reasoned and well thought out way, I'd discuss it further with him.

Lweji · 16/05/2014 06:32

If the issue is money, surely you both have money you spend on yourselves. Perhaps you should agree on how much that is and then do what you like with it.

If he finds it unattractive, then you risk becoming too unattractive to him and you'll need to consider what is more important for you.

doziedoozie · 16/05/2014 07:12

In the future everyone will know your true age because you have tattoos. They will become unfashionable, as everything comes and goes or runs in cycles, and all those 30 somethings will look weird at 70 when young people are tattoo free.

gh35 · 16/05/2014 07:24

I hate tats and think they are ugly, but each to their own.

Would I want to split with my wife if she decided her body was a canvas for art? Yes without a second thought.

Hope this helps.

Mckayz · 16/05/2014 07:31

Dozie, I'd much rather look weird and have my tattoos that mean an awful lot to me.

FindoGask · 16/05/2014 07:34

I am pretty well tattooed - one full sleeve, one half sleeve, one full back. My husband doesn't have any tattoos, but I'm glad to say that he doesn't have a problem with mine; in fact, he seems to love them more, the more I get! I've often wondered how we'd manage if he'd been against me getting them. Thinking of other areas of contention in our marriage, I think we do both try to see it from the other's point of view and so far we haven't hit any intractable issues.

I don't know what to suggest, other than just continuing to talk about it together. In a relationship of course you do have to consider the other person's feelings when you're making such a big change, but by the same token he also needs to consider your feelings too.

Angelto5 · 16/05/2014 07:35

Out of curiosity op what have u got in mind 2 have tattoo'd on ur back??

MrsKCastle · 16/05/2014 07:37

It's your body, you can do what you want. You now know his opinion- which he's entitled to express, provided he did so politely and as an opinion not a demand. You now get to decide whether or not to take his opinion into consideration.

Eekaman You can of course make your own decision about washing. Your DW does not have the right to dictate what you do. She does, however have the right to decide not to go anywhere near you.

MultipleMama · 16/05/2014 08:02

Dozie, at 70 I'd be passed caring what "young ones" think or look like. DH and I will sit in heavily tattooes in our rocking chairs and laugh at the youths that stroll on by Grin.

DH is having a procedure done tattoo that I'm totally keen on which he knows but he has wanted it since he was a teenager and it won't make me love him less or find him less attractive. I just have to accept his thoughtout decision. We're also getting pierced today :)

I am also curious as to what you're thinking of getting!

Swipe left for the next trending thread