Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH said no more tattoos

366 replies

ICanSeeTheSun · 15/05/2014 22:52

My vision is to turn my back into a canvas, I believe tattoo are art, so far I have 4 on my back.

I love them and it is a part of me.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Offred · 16/05/2014 16:06

I've only got one tattoo just now and that's because it's a deeply personal thing to me. I wouldn't want loads of tattoos and I don't see my body as art. All the generalisations are quite irritating tbh because people have different feelings about things and do things for their own reasons.

Different people, tattooed and untattooed, have different feelings about whether they would/wouldn't want tattoos or would be attracted to people with/without tattoos. People with tattoos have diverse reasons for getting them in the first place, have diverse designs and placing and diverse interpretations of their meaning to them.

And GQ magazine?! Really... Pffft...

Mckayz · 16/05/2014 16:13

I never had GQ down as a serious magazine, blimey!!

Offred · 16/05/2014 16:13

And the worth of me is not measurable by how pleasing I am to men. If a man's not in my wavelength I wouldn't be interested in him tbh.

livingzuid · 16/05/2014 16:24

Ah right, so we're taking Ozzy Osborne's advice now? Yes, I must remember to go out and get so addled on drink and drugs every single day so I can't talk properly any more. I'd rather take advice on what to do with my body from normal people with normal lives thanks.

And GQ Magazine? The one that regularly publishes pictures of nearly naked ladies and has a hottest women of the week section? Quality publication that one, right up there with the Economist and Time.

DownstairsMixUp · 16/05/2014 16:48

gh35 you aren't coming across very well I'm afraid. Using GQ magazine to make points (!!) and saying you'd leave your wife if she did something you didn't like on her. Not very bright are you?

LizardBreath · 16/05/2014 17:08

I had a boyfriend who told me he'd never date a girl with a tatoo, and he'd dump me if I got one.

I got one. He didn't. So I had to do it myself.

sarinka · 16/05/2014 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuintessentiallyQS · 16/05/2014 17:37

I am of the opinion that I can do what I like to my body. However, I would not deliberately go and do something that would make me ugly or unattractive in my husbands eyes. Especially not if it was costing a lot.

Is there a difference between tattoos and breast implants, philosophically speaking?

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 16/05/2014 18:30

Wellllll I've got a couple of tattoos, and I'm an academic. I've got three degrees - I couldn't BE more educated. And I'd say pretty much a hefty minority of my department also have tattoos, including our current head of dept, incidentally.

It's partly a generational thing, yes: they did used to be the preserve of working class men. They aren't now. That's just the way society has changed, and gh35's comments make him/her sound old, rather than middle class or stuffy.

It's fine not to like them though. And there are certainly tattoos and TATTOOS, I think. But then mine aren't enormous and I don't think about them much. Too busy.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 16/05/2014 18:34

Oh yes and Grin at GQ's 'survey' - right up there with ONS as one of the most trusted sources of statistical information in Britain today!

MiniatureRailway · 16/05/2014 18:37

Agree with Quint. Your body, your choice but if he is less attracted to you as a result of those choices then it is also his choice to leave the relationship.

Personally I don't like tattoos and don't see them as some kind of alternative "lifestyle choice" when every man and his dog has one or several these days. I feel quite alternative and proud in my choice not to have any. Grin

MultipleMama · 16/05/2014 20:04

My DH has sleeves on both arms, a chest tattoo, a back tattoo and most of his legs, he also has a nipple rings and a split tongue; he works in finance as a senior manager. He also wears a suit and everything! Grin And I'm a Dog Handler.

The crap people come out with make me laugh.

I do agree that if money is tight and it's "our" not "your" money then he does have a say and I think you have to take into consideration his opinion but ultimately it's your choice.

Laser removal is 10 times worse than a tattoo so I would think a sane person with common sense would think a tattoo through before getting one. And always go to a tattooist who can back up what he's saying with a portfolio and try asking around. I only have 2 tattooists I trust; one in England and one here in Germany. DH has 3 tattooists. All of which can not only tattoo amazingly but draw too which are too completely different things.

Good luck if you do go ahead and get one! :)

angeltums · 16/05/2014 20:46

Get this one

MultipleMama · 16/05/2014 21:02

DH has a kinkier and much better designed version of that on his back but m/m/f Grin

Whoever did that tattoo in the picture needs to touch up his skills LOL

MultipleMama · 16/05/2014 21:11

DH and I have found the perfect tattoos for our anniversary I bet the tattooist had a field day with these. And eww the feet!

DH said no more tattoos
gh35 · 16/05/2014 21:30

@BrunoBrookesDinedAlone

Yes it is a generation thing... and yes I am reasonably old.

I grew up in a poor depressed area where there were very little prospects. When I finally escaped and went to university, there was a huge contrast in the amount of tattoos that people had compared to where I grew up.

I have associated smoking and tattoos with poverty and deprived areas my whole life. I also associate tattoos with rebellion, which went hand in hand in my younger years with the use of hard drugs such as heroin, crack etc... and yes, I was one of the kids who sat just on the edge, just occasionally being part of that scene.

A number of friends I went to school with are dead... mostly due to drugs, a couple of suicides, one I know from AIDS (sharing needles) etc.

Yes I understand things have changed and they are now the norm, particularly since celebs have now embarrassed them... and people no longer have Oi! tattooed across their foreheads.

I guess I feel pretty strongly when I think back about my younger years and the decisions I made.. and the impact that these have in your later years. I have terrible short term memory loss due to drug use, but manage to hold down a job with a 6 figure salary. Do I regret the things I did when I was young.... yes... if I knew when I was young what I know today would I have changed the way I of how you will feel in the behaved,? probably no... when you are young, you have no interest in how you will feel in the future... but do I have regrets, yes.

Yes off topic, but the point is, when you are young, you couldn't care less how you will feel in the future as it seems so far away.... and I know I probably sound like one of your parents, but it's because your parents have already been there, done it, got the tee shirt.

Life is all about learning from mistakes, but we seem to mostly learn from our own mistakes and not through "generations" of mistakes.

Anyway, have a good weekend

gh35 · 16/05/2014 21:31

embraced not embarrassed :-)

MrsJoeGargery · 16/05/2014 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gh35 · 16/05/2014 21:54

Late 40s, but I suspect it's more about where I grew up has more of an impact of my opinion regarding seeing tattoos as a poor and depressing upbringing.

Did you start your 'tattoo journey' when you were 16 while in a drug den while people where shooting heroin? Or was this much later on in life when you just felt you needed to be different? (like every other tatted people out there!)

livingzuid · 16/05/2014 22:03

gh35 my parents didn't get tattoos so they haven't been there, done that. They are from a different universe. I got a heck of a lot of abuse though. Didn't really learn anything from them apart from how I didn't want to live life. I don't consider my tattoos a mistake either and never will.

Yes of course you are entitled to dislike tattoos. I personally am very meh about piercings - not my thing. The difference is it doesn't bother me because it is up to the individual how they choose to live their life and do what they want with their bodies. And I'd like to think I don't lump people all together in one rather derogatory category and then judge them for it.

Just on your point on drugs - I went to a private school, had friends who were from incredibly privileged backgrounds. I lived with a dealer who was two years above me at school, dealing from sixteen, Although drugs weren't my thing loads of people were taking some quite hardcore drugs before leaving school. Surely you realise that drug abuse crosses all social boundaries? My DH, by the way, is as working class as you come and proud of it. He's never had a drink, has never smoked and has never tried drugs. I'm just surprised that you can't see or understand why so many of us are Confused by your comments. They are very narrow minded.

Back to the thread - I am intrigued as to what the OP would like to get!

gh35 · 16/05/2014 22:06

Sorry didn't mean to be harsh and regret posting the above, but I'm more interested in in how people are inside rather than superficial looks.

I struggle with understanding why how looks seem to take priority over who they actually are.

And no, obviously I wouldn't end a relationship if the wife wanted a smallish tattoo that meant something special, but would object to her wanting a full back tattoo and ignoring any of my feelings on the subject.

Similarly, I would expect the same... if I wanted a full back tattoo and I know she's hate it.. I wouldn't just get it done because I wanted it.

livingzuid · 16/05/2014 22:12

Did you start your 'tattoo journey' when you were 16 while in a drug den while people where shooting heroin? Or was this much later on in life when you just felt you needed to be different? (like every other tatted people out there!)

Oh dear. We don't feel a need to be different. I´m very secure in myself thanks. I've always loved tattoos. Some are beautiful, some are not. If you had read the thread, it is as a PP said. There are tattoos and then there are TATTOOS.

I do them for me for very personal reasons, not because I'm interested in being a rebel, showing off or any other shallow reason you seem to want to put onto people.

But there seems to be no point in trying to explain this any more as certain minds are forever closed to accepting that, sometimes, they might just be in the wrong and things are not quite as they seem.

livingzuid · 16/05/2014 22:13

OP, please post a pic of what you´d like Smile

FindoGask · 16/05/2014 22:15

"...when you just felt you needed to be different?"

People don't get tattooed to be "different". I'm not sure where this idea comes from. They get tattooed because they like tattoos.

Personally, I didn't have any until my early thirties, when out of nowhere I woke up one day and decided I wanted one. After a few months of looking around to find a good artist, and thinking about what I wanted, I ended up with a glorious full colour goldfinch perched on an apple blossom branch on my right shoulder. And then I wanted another one to keep the first one company. And so it went on. I just like them, I like the way they look on me, I like the process of planning and getting each one: it feels like something just for me - frivolous and inessential, yes, but mine forever.

MultipleMama · 16/05/2014 22:20

gh35 - Was there any need for that snarky comment? You have stated your opinion and by your background, I sort of understand but you seem to have made it your goal to insult people.

My dad is in his 40s and got his first tattoo in a backstreet shop in Russia with his "friends" when he was 14. Peer pressure and because it was "cool". Now he gets them because he likes them and likes the artwork. He doesn't regret the 3 he got in his early youth.

Every "tattoo journey" is different.