Dating thread 75

[DeliberatelyDreaming]

For everyone OLD or even RL dating. Tell us your stories, share your woe's and get and give support.

I want to ask for advice AGAIN re: OLD.... I am rubbish at reading the signs. This bloke emailed me on the site I'm joined to about 10 days ago but I wasn't sure about him so didn't reply and was busy with work, etc. Anyhow, I then read his profile about last Thursday, he sounded lovely and interesting, funny etc so I replied. We had a lovely flow of emails for a couple of nights where he peppered each email saying that 'we must meet/I'd love to meet you' etc as well as chatting. He then asked me on Friday night directly if I would like to meet up so i said i would but that i'm difficult time-wise as only have child-free time every other weekend. A couple of emails went back and forth whereby he basically said things like 'we can do it if we really want to' so in the end I felt like we were faffing around a bit so I said 'Yep, let's do it then!' He then replied something like 'great, I love a daring woman!' but hasn't actually asked me where, when etc. That was Friday night and we haven't emailed each other since. I'm not sure if he's playing games...Should I just email a suggested date or wait for him to come back to me before i get back in touch?

Knitted no reason why you can't message him is there?

No what you mean avocado about child care problems. I get no time at all at mo due to DS2's dad being 'unable to cope' glad your date went well, lovely when it makes you feel alive again!

Just ask him? Though must admit I haven't asked anyone. I'll let them make suggestions for dates when available. If they don't then I'm not bothered to do any chasing.

Avocado and pink, I felt so giddy after my first date and I didn't even fancy him!

Well after getting totally disillusioned by young barbie woman and denim shorts girl, I decided I'd have one last go on pof.
I found a woman who has everything I'm looking for. I've been exchanging messages with her and asked her out virtually straight away.
We're off out later this week.

I would advice caution. What if its lily savage?!

I've seen her pics. She's gorgeous. (my date I mean, not lily savage)

Lily does have a certain something. She's got lovely skin!

avocado glad to hear it went so well!

Just got back from my date. Very pleasant afternoon. Nice bloke. Conversation flowed relatively well. But absolutely no spark of attraction... I actually feel ok - glad I did it - needed to get the 'first' date out of the way.

Yay for slow and consistent!

Bigbird, that sounds like a pleasant first date.

Sounds good Neil hope you get on.

Jarlin, nice to see you back on. Glad to hear things still going strong with Slow

Well I was supposed to go on second date with mr tall today (wanted to take me to a waterfall ) but my baby has sick bug

Bigbird - sound like a pleasant date - have you ruled out seeing him again ?

My first date was similar but it wasn't until after my second (the date from hell) and third (pleasant and a bit of spark) that I realised there could have been a whole firework display at the first but I'd been too nervous to notice while worrying about what to say next !!

allnew that's very sound advice. I did think he was a nice bloke and would certainly not run a mile at the idea of spending time in his company. If he gets in touch I think I would meet him again, but I don't think I would chase him.

I always think it's better if you don't like them too much anyway

Folk, I'm sorry it came to an end. I think from what you said it did just reach the natural end and hopefully no hard feelings on either side.
I also love that you wrote this 'So I've proved I can do that too. And I've been asked out my a man in the real world just because he has liked the look of me (not just looks, but apparently I'm always smiling and look happy!); started talking to me and still liked me, and so it would seem I can do that too!' This just shows how far you have come.

Jarlin. Lovely to hear from you, glad everything's ok

Big bird, but how do you know it won't develop, if you got on really well then it may. Maybe I give things too much chance but I would be thinking that if I got along and he was attractive that something could develop. I would go for another date now the nerves have settled a bit.

I saw mr nice Friday and Saturday night. We had a lovely time and he stayed over Friday night. He was really caring about an operation I need in the summer and when I cried during a soppy film

I do agree with you pinklaydee. It is better to not be too keen on them. But I think I want to feel that spark. The butterflies. I don't know if I am expecting too much or am being naive. Though part if me suspects that a spark could be walloping me over the head and I wouldn't notice as I seem to be oblivious to these things!

I've had an email from him.

He said he misses me and he'd really like to see me before he goes back home. He's offered to get the train over one night after work and return the same evening. He said he wants to talk to me face to face and he'll be miserable if we leave it like this and then he has to go back home for a month.

So confused now

What do you want to do folk? I'm sensing you might want to meet, closure? (I could be completely wrong!)

Folk only my opinion! but I think you should meet him face to face to talk things through. I have found in the past that talking over text / email can hide so much of your true emotion that the reality is hidden. It might be heart breaking to find out how he really truly feels (either because it is less than you hope he feels, or - potentially even harder to bear - he feels more than you ever realised!!), but don't you think you owe it to yourself to know?? In my mind, knowing would help me find the closure...

Sorry, this might be absolute rubbish advice, but just what I would want to do...

I think I do want to meet. I think I need to know what to expect from before doing so, though. Not word for word, just an idea of what he wants to meet for so I know how to approach it.

I'd say go Folk, u'll always wonder otherwise.

Wouldn't say I've had the spark as such with tall guy but I'd like to see him again because he has 'something'.

My last bf didn't fancy him til date 2 either

Don't forget to remember what you want from him as well. Which you told us here. About the lightness, without the heavy duty domesticity and so forth.

Oh so my rule of one date and you're out isnt productive??

Cani I'm not sure that something couldn't develop there just wasn't anything obvious there. The last person I fell for, I found I looked into his eyes and felt a kind of draw... There was definitely none of that. Maybe I'm expecting too much...

Thanks. Great advice as usual.

I've agreed to meet with him. He says he doesn't care if it ends up only being for half an hour, he wants to see me before he goes.

He knows that already, Maisie.

BigBird I think you're right about the email/text thing. I also know that I do hide my true emotions to an extent. It was just another weakness to be exploited as far as my parents were concerned, so I don't really wear my heart on my sleeve. I was more open with him because it felt safe to be so, but there was still a limit...