Quick! Is there some kind of protocol for staying at new bloke's house when menstruating.

[UterusUterusGhali]

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever posted.

I've been dating a guy for a few months. I've stayed at his before. We're going to dinner tonight and I'd like to drink & have more time together so I'd have to stay at his.

Thing is I'm on. Do I just say "I'll stay but I'm not shagging you", or would the proper thing to do be to just drive home?

I'm so shit at dating!!!

I should add, I didn't actually witness this amazing feat. I actually thought he was joking until he produced it with a flourish, expecting a round of applause I think. He was obviously very proud. Thus his distress thinking I had somehow broken it.

This was back after I had split up from my ex-h, had no confidence and was trying my hand at internet dating. On paper and over the phone this guy seemed lovely and quite normal. He was a political scientist at a university fgs! You just wouldn't have expected either the party trick or terrible sexual technique. I had high hopes for that one until I met him. Just goes to show, it's not what you've got but what you do with it...

And yes, having met my lovely DH some time later I can happily (and with great relief) say that I did indeed move onto greener pastures.

Argh my brother is a ballet dancer - stop it stop it stop it now. Erase that horrible piece of information NOW

Redundant

This thread is so not safe for work, I can only catch up in the evenings. I am missing so much...

sorry, just joined in - I don't usually read all ten pages of a long thread but this is a bit compulsive. I think I'll only ever think of dolmio when I see any more. Never had a guy who actively liked it but not sure any of them said no BECAUSE of it. A towel solves most practical problems. As to the OP, yes, just tell him (in a way he will understand - nothing worse than having to explain euphemisms) and then decide if both of you are in the mood. And I need to get down to Poundland clearly - though they keep opening and closing in my very naice part of Herts - I think the locals complain

Boots sell lubes and cock rings too, don't they ?

Everywhere sells lube. Even my old local corner shop used to sell KY jelly. I think boots do sell sex toys or they did. I know Asda used to (don't know if they still do) sell those finger vibrators.

AF - You mean these?

Gosh no (I have no idea what that is)

I have seen vibrating cock rings next to flavoured lubes etc at Boots. It was strictly while I was selecting my favoured haemorrhoid preparation, you understand.

Apparently, it's cock ring or as they poshly call it a penis supporter .

I understand, completely. It's so easy to get distracted by the erm, colourful display.

I must wander round Boots in a fucking daze when I go to buy my lavender water and Lily of the valley talc.
I have never seen a vibrating cock ring in Boots the chemist.

"AF - You mean these?"

That tenring looks more like a bottle opener.

meditrina Here's another one for your list. "If you're snookered by the red, pot the brown"

DH: If the front door's locked, try the back door.

My third date with dh, I was in this situation. The first two dates hadn't really been dates, just shags and chatting and sleeping over. He texted and asked if he could come over. I replied 'you can, but I'll be curled up in the sofa with period pains so you might prefer not to bother.' He turned up with a bottle of wine and a hot water bottle. Apparently it was his way of telling me he was interested in more than just sex. Cute.

That is adorable, Guy.

Aradia, my experience of university faculty seems to indicate they are all utter filth.

The last one I dated regaled me of tales of him, some woman, and a dalmation.

Don't knock uni academics, Uterus. My DH is one and he is filth. That's why I married the dirty bastard.

Slightly more on topic; I thought of another way you could tell him. How about, "I'm on the blob and I've got a gusset like a butcher's sleeve".

He's filth without bringing animals into it though.

Haha!
I'm banking that for next month!

Bloody hell, you leave a thread for a night and come back to autofellatio and haunted cock rings! Only on MN

I feel like I need to have a trip to Poundland to see these magnificent displays of assorted sex toys because I am clearly missing out. Maybe I'll get a group of girlfriends together and we can sneak in some booze and have an Ann Summers-esque Poundland Party!

ruby Thanks for the heads up. When If I venture into Poundland and purchase one (purely for research purposes you understand) I'll make sure I take some precautionary measures. I don't fancy a clit blister à la OP.

HotSauce That is brilliant! For some reason I'm imagining that for full effect you should accompany it with a suggestive wink though.

In a Northern accent as well though, Cabernet.

Not that we have a Poundland here damn but I wish we did, but just a question: is everything in there a pound? If so I should have to place an order with someone to send a cockring, a vibrator and some anal beads..................... 3 pounds! Bloody bargain. there are just some things that you cant ask your mil to bring along with her on her next holiday

Damn, I'm boycotting Poundland since our 99p shop opened. It's my absolute fave shop ever, and I really can't bring myself to spend the extra penny and walk all the way up the bloody hill to go to Poundland for Friday night accessories.

They are usually jolly helpful; I'll have a word next time I'm there. Or maybe not.