Twat walked out again tonight

[dingdongdoodlebug]

My goodness me I sometime hate myself for how much i am unable to break free from this fucker.

I spent around 2 hours in the kitchen tonight making his favourite 3 course meal.... when attempting to fire off the creme brulee i burnt them. I was upset cause the rest of the meal was just lovely.. so i said the f word a few times in front my MY 12 year old DS (not his). DS giggled. But fuckhead said it was inappropriate (this tosser is always swearing thought not the f word...). I said oh fuckityfuckwits i am really upset i burnt this.

So he then stuffed the said creme brulee down his greedy neck and walked out. He doesn't live with us [thank the lord] but what a rude ignorant twat he is

Sorry. I am bloody so annoyed and sick to death of his pathetic excuses for walking out. He is a 51 year old man ffs

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

[Frogisatwat]

I sped - dumped. Bloody phone.
Go back to him then. Go on see what happens..
imagine you have a boyfriend who you don't really like. Now this is imaginary I don't think for one minute you would be like this. .
you put him down he tolerates it. You speak to him like he is shit so he walks out on you but comes back all sad and apologetic despite the fact you had treated him badly.
You probably wouldn't have much respect for him and would probably think him rather pathetic. And you can now treat him worse because you know how much bad behaviour he will tolerate. .
This is what this man thinks of you. Why should he respect you when you dont respect yourself??
It's not going to work ever end of.
but do what you want. You could be 50 and still going round in circles

[Shirleycantbe]

PLEASE dont weaken!!! You've done so well and it will all be wasted if you crumble now. You'll just have to go though this all again in a month or so. You do know that at some level.

This relationship will never make you happy - and you and your DS deserve happiness and security.

This man isn't what you imagine he is/could be when you are feeling at low ebb and alone. He is poison to you and always will be.

BE STRONG!!

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Thanks Shirley. Wise words.

I have long deleted his number but thought it might be on DS old phone - it was so I deleted too.... it is nowhere now :) :) :)

Today I suppose I can say I have got over the hurdle of seeing him out and about.....

Nearly time for BGT :)

[Raskova]

Oh dear. Still negative? It's not him you miss. It's the ideology he sold you

[Frogisatwat]

I agree raskova and I am sorry if I sound harsh op .This is the voice of bitter experience x

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Hi both - yep you are both right. i know what a complete fuckwit he is - i would have been wife number 3 - think i had a lucky escape.

He really wanted us to live together and took personal insult that i didn't want to. Always moaning the relationship not going anywhere... what does he expect when he walks out if wash the dishes the wrong way!!!

Will be glad ot have made it through a weekend.... looked at old journals where i had tried to free myself from him before... last record was 12 days.... if i get past 12 days i know thats it... so that will take me to next Friday....

I can do it. I am sure

[Raskova]

Well we will all be here till next Friday then

[cjelh]

I always used to say that I was 'missing a myth' !!! the reality was different

[Frogisatwat]

Its monday tomorrow. I always find it easy when its a school day!

[Frogisatwat]

Easier not easy!

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Yep cj - god knows why I am missing him - you are spot on reality is different and if he was here this morning i wouldn't have slept well cause he thrashes round in the bed and makes wierd noises in his sleep and he would be expecting a cooked breakfast soon. oh and he might pop to shops later to buy stuff for me to make a roast dinner..........

instead i get to patter around my house in my nightie not giving a monkeys arse if my hair is sticking out and how old i am looking these days :)

frog - yes school days are definately easier! i got some bits on this week to keep me busy and first meeting with counsellor (well its CBT) thursday so that is good timing.

I am feeling so so soooooooooooooooo pleased that i didn't make any contact with the fucker yesterday.... gotta say was very lucky that my phone ate his number completely cause i would have text otherwise and i know i would be regretting it now.

Thanks for keeeping me on track lovely people

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Oh and for what its worth i am actually now pleased i don't have to go back to my job as i hated it. instead a summer of freedom and prick face will be the one paying for it. its only £85 a week but keeps the wolf from the door (and him hopefully )

every cloud silver lining and all that

[Raskova]

Why has he given this money? Because it's his fault you're jobless?

Just be careful, in case he withdraws it at a moments notice

[dingdongdoodlebug]

yep, cause its his fault and he knows it. there is a time limit on it of 6 months and yes i realise he could stop at anytime but he knows only very, very well that the police want me to make statement and in his twisted way of thinking i imagine he thinks if he did anything to make me really angry i would do it. i wouldn't as i don't want to be involved in any way and they are taking action against him with or without my statement but i am just sure he is in some way doing it to pacify me/keep me quiet? i don't know

[dingdongdoodlebug]

oh goodness, i'm all over the place. just read some of the dating threads on here and make me think ex is not sooooo bad after all. i think he could change.... oh fuckwits

[Kewcumber]

HAve been lurking but have to post!

(am single and doing online dating)

You know you don't have to choose the least worst of the losers? You can wait for someone who really likes you... and behaves likes they do. How's that for an option!

[OldJacksHat]

Ding how many times have you split and got back together? Has he changed any of those times? Do you want your DS to have to tiptoe around him again the way you did? I know how hard it is. I have been both the child in the situation, and the adult to walk away. The best thing you can do for you and DS is to stay strong and stay away. You are doing so well, you are a strong woman, just keep reminding yourself of that.

[ChasedByBees]

He will not change. He will not.

The dating threads are often people suffering problems, the countless number of people having a perfectly lovely time with very respectful and loving partners don't post.

If you're doing social work, could being involved with someone like him jeopardise that? I'm not sure, but you need to be careful.

[Raskova]

Great point kewcumber.

[cjelh]

joining you in good nights rest and pottering in pjs this morning. altough I have a weekend of not speaking to anyone again (so far) its soooo much better than the alternative, My ex would cook sunday roast 'for me' but would lie and read papers while I cleared up from the 11 of us he invited - because its lovely to have all the kids round!!!!!

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Well I was so close to it i decided that the best thing to do was to go to sleep as at least I couldn't do anything in my sleep. Kipped for an hour and just cooked breakfast for DS and me.

Was really nice to wake up to your messages.

I also looked up an email I had from one of his ex-wives to remind myself... this is it:

'I had to leave the marriage as he became unbearable. I put up with it for 3/4 years and simply couldn't take anymore. He constantly caused rows for the sake of it, made me feel humiliated in front of others,constantly tried to nake me jealous by going on about other women or simply leering at them, constantly threatened to leave me and got very angry over nothing. He would fall out with me on average every two weeks then ignore me for about ten days. If im honest it was hell on earth. He finds it impossible to live harmoniously sadly and can only really function with drama in his personal life. There is a lovely side to him which is very endearing which makes it very hard to leave. I had to leave for the sake of my well being even though i loved him dearly. I hope this helps you and i am sorry he is still behaving so distructively.'

By the way I met him online!

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Chase - he is a police officer, has been for 28 years. Control and power freak. Though he might be sacked before long....

[dingdongdoodlebug]

This was teh second message ex sent me:

'Yes he is very good at making out that the problem is yours and not his and unfortunately you end up believing that it is you. He also portrays this to everyone around him that it is the girl with issues and often refers to ex and present girlfriends as the "psycho"

I wish you the very best of luck but please don't allow him to destroy whatever self esteem and confidence you might have because once he has done that he will leave anyway.'

unfortunately it is still making it hard. he has promised to go and get professional help - does this ever work?

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

"He has promised to go and get professional help"

These types (whom Dr Joe Carver refers to as "The Loser") all say that; he likely said that to his two ex wives as well. They do not.

"does this ever work?"
No. He will never change because he enjoys doing all this. These men hate women as well, all of them.

Stay strong and maintain radio silence from this ingrate.

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Yep I have always thought that inside he hates women. Horrible man. Sorry really on a rollercoaster this weeekend