Twat walked out again tonight

[dingdongdoodlebug]

My goodness me I sometime hate myself for how much i am unable to break free from this fucker.

I spent around 2 hours in the kitchen tonight making his favourite 3 course meal.... when attempting to fire off the creme brulee i burnt them. I was upset cause the rest of the meal was just lovely.. so i said the f word a few times in front my MY 12 year old DS (not his). DS giggled. But fuckhead said it was inappropriate (this tosser is always swearing thought not the f word...). I said oh fuckityfuckwits i am really upset i burnt this.

So he then stuffed the said creme brulee down his greedy neck and walked out. He doesn't live with us [thank the lord] but what a rude ignorant twat he is

Sorry. I am bloody so annoyed and sick to death of his pathetic excuses for walking out. He is a 51 year old man ffs

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

[dingdongdoodlebug]

oh dear - serious wobble going on here.

Been absolutely fine all day but I have a recorded delivery letter to collect tomorrow. They are always bad news :( its making me massively anxious and it doesn't open til 7am tomorrow so have to wait til then....

Last one was from work terminating employment, might be another one from them but i just want them to f;off..... feel like contacting him cause i can talk to him about stuff like that and he is very non-twatish sometimes.... oh, no no no no no no no :(

Also i suppose its first weekend without him :( :( :( :(

[Raskova]

Nooooo!

You can talk to us about it!!!

Can you go to the post office tonight, just in case it's there now? They always say 24 hours. I've only once been that evening and it not be there waiting.

[dingdongdoodlebug]

I just checked. They closed at 1pm today. Its making me so so anxious and I don't know why... not like they can do much else to me having sacked me. Though I did write them a long letter about bullying there... but it says it is a package.. rather than a letter. Maybe a leaving gift heheheheh!

Last time it just said a letter.

Oh I need ot not care about it. they cannot do anything to me

[HerRoyalNotness]

Keep yourself busy this weekend!! Clean house, do the garden, visit a friend, take DS on an outing, anything to keep your mind busy! You can do it!!

I have visions of adding to an Ocado order 1 x 20% c**t.

[Raskova]

Eleanor Roosevelt said something like 'no one can make you feel inferior without your consent'

Slightly irrelevant but thought it may help. She said some other great stuff, which you may prefer.

What kind of post office closes at 1? That's rubbish. You can't change anything until you read/open it. Worry then. For tonight, you are fancy free and careless. Enjoy it

[cjelh]

Evening.It is surprising the sort of stuff you get recorded delivery . Once I had a letter from a solicitor with an inheritance letter in it.

I bet there is not much harm that anyone can cause you now. Is there any distraction you can do tonight to put a smile on your face?

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Well DS insisted he showed me his cricket skills in the garden - i didn't measure up to his bowling requirements - just loving being out there with him and not worrying what time will fuckhead be here, gotta do the meal, make myself look well i dunno the best that i can...!! Had a glass of wine, watered plants, we had dinner in the garden.. shower. And now some choc and more wine and shitty tv with DS... no-one to moan about tv choices

going to ring ocado for my 20% cuntiness.. heheh.. though can't i have like 0% or 5% seeing as i have had way way way more than my fair share for last 2 years..........

i don't give anyone consent to make me feel inferior. standing firm...

[Raskova]

Aaaw that sounds like a lovely evening. Glad you're standing firm

Enjoy your

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Thanks Rasko - you have a lovely evening too. Feeling much better and proud of myself

[Raskova]

You should be exceedingly proud! I don't think I could have done it.

I'm struggling to stay awake. I'm not yet 30, it's Friday and it's just past 8.

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Do you have young DCs - enough to make 8pm bedtime for me if I remember!
Wish I was not yet thirty.... early forties here....

[Raskova]

I'm sure we feel the same age or I suppose.

She's 2.5 and threw an almighty strop from tiredness at about 7 so I put her in bed. Early morning for me...!

Her dad just ordered an 18 inch pizza and we are watching American horror story... Heaven

[meringue33]

Keep strong Dingdong! You're doing great :)

One day at a time :)

[TheWanderingUterus]

You are doing really well. So glad you are feeling better a bit.

I think you definitely deserve 0% cuntishness .

You have good taste in supermarkets, time to transfer that to men!

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Well by about 8.30pm I was asleep on the sofa! Woke up at 9.30 with DS cuddled up to me watching tv - cute! Finally got him off to bed and went to bed myself. Feeling rested.

Off to collect the mysterious package shortly. I now have a feeling it might be something stupid I ordered from amazon... though it said it should arrive next week.

Today is sunny - and I will not flounder.

Thanks mumsnetters and glass of wine and falling asleep on sofa for getting me through a little danger patch

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Package collected - a bloody big pack of humidifier thingies for the wardrobes.... why on earth they sent it signed for i don't know. Only cost a few pounds. Ho hum. Relief. ~Tea in the garden time :)

[Raskova]

How exciting

That does sound very cute

So what's planned today?

[dingdongdoodlebug]

I have an essay due in Tuesday so there will be some working on that this morning while dS has xbox time. Then garden, out on bikes down to the beach til we are both knackered. Loving the sunshine :)

[Raskova]

The beach?? Jealous!!!!!

Ooh an essay! What are you studying?

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Social work. Love it normally but bit tough with all the crap I have had going on past few months. Nearly there though :)

[Raskova]

Oooh. That's something if love to do, just never been too clear on the access route.

You can rub your success in his fave soon

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Oh jeeeeeeeeez - just popped into Sports Direct to get DS some cricket gear and guess who is in there. What are the chances of that aaaaaaaaagggghhh

We spotted each other as I was walking in and he was stood talking to some bloke. I just carried on walking but then DS says 'why didn't you say hello to him' and didn't know what to do and said oh silly me, lets say hello

So went back to where he is still talking to bloke and said hello with a big cheery grin (THANKYOU LORD for making me really have made the effort getting ready this morning) and he says hi and I walk off.

Nervous judders and we look at cricket stuff.... huge pangs of wanting him so after a few minutes i went back to see him and told DS to stay here. He was gone. Luckily I suppose

But oh how I want him back now :( :( :( :( :(

[Frogisatwat]

Yes you could have him back. And lather, rinse rwpeat. 20 times, 21, 22 splits. Meanwhile time is passing. Is he going to have a personality transplant? No. He is still the same arsehole. I sped a similar character. I had always gone back and he expected me to again. But I had enough of watching my children suffer and he was not a good roll model.
I have been with a lovely man for the last two years....don't waste your glory years.

[Raskova]

My dad always says this...

You make a decision because of how you feel at that time. You don't like that feeling so you choose to do x. You should always stick to your decision because you will feel like that again, no matter how much you think the situation will change.

he says it much better than I do

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Feeling super depressed :( hate the fact that I let him affect me so deeply. This is the worst I have been feeling all week. urghhghghghgh