Twat walked out again tonight

[dingdongdoodlebug]

My goodness me I sometime hate myself for how much i am unable to break free from this fucker.

I spent around 2 hours in the kitchen tonight making his favourite 3 course meal.... when attempting to fire off the creme brulee i burnt them. I was upset cause the rest of the meal was just lovely.. so i said the f word a few times in front my MY 12 year old DS (not his). DS giggled. But fuckhead said it was inappropriate (this tosser is always swearing thought not the f word...). I said oh fuckityfuckwits i am really upset i burnt this.

So he then stuffed the said creme brulee down his greedy neck and walked out. He doesn't live with us [thank the lord] but what a rude ignorant twat he is

Sorry. I am bloody so annoyed and sick to death of his pathetic excuses for walking out. He is a 51 year old man ffs

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

[tigermoll]

This really jumped out at me:

i managed my depression until i met him two years ago

You will be BETTER OFF without him in the long run. The anxiety you feel now is just withdrawal from him. If you can get through it day by day, it will get easier and easier.

Picture yourself in a year's time - happy, managing your depression with some great support from your GP/mental health team, you've found a job you enjoy and you and your son have a happy home. You're laughing with your son about something, and suddenly it pops into your head about that stupid night with the creme brulee when you suddenly realised what a total tosser your boyfriend was and kicked him out. It seems like so long ago - you've achieved so much since then. You give a little shiver when you think what your life would be like if you'd taken him back, and you want to reach back and give yourself a hug of gratitude for seeing the light.

[dingdongdoodlebug]

holy moly - your message really moved me tigermoll - got tears in my eyes.

I know how right you all are and I am so determind, I have failed many times before and he will just be waiting for me to give in and make contact.

With regards to statement to the police, I am scared what he will do to me if I do this and I really do not want to have to stand up against him in court as a witness.

They are taking action against him anyway for the other stuff and at least this way I don't have to be involved.

Thank you so much all that have replied. You are totally keeping me on track today

[dingdongdoodlebug]

well said prick face sent text saying 'i've emailed you' = DELETE

there is a massive, long, long email detailing all my faults and mistakes i have made... however its carefully crafted and worded but i think that is more cause he is trying to ensure i won't make a statement

he has put detail in of various things in that need sorting/returning and offered to support me a bit financially now that i have no job.... won't be turning that offer down

he wants stuff returned without seeing each other - TICK!
he wants to put the money through my letterbox early each sunday morning - NOT TICK!

I think he thinks i will beg and try to say it will work but thats not happening.

i will not respond to any of his comments about me or the events last night but simply agree to the returning of various items and a time when to do it without having to see him

Dear Lord please let this strength i feel remain

[Blu]

Disembroil yourself completely.

Get his stuff returned in a calm and dignified manner, and definitely do not accept money from him. He sounds like a controlling psychopath.

You will do damage to yourself if you let him engage with you at all.

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Just had another text saying ' i don't know what you have done to my facebook but half my timeline has gone'..... seriously. what a toss pot. i just replied saying i had done nothing and had no interest in his fb. shit, forgot to get hte f word in the reply.

number all deleted and gone so if ever tempted its not there

[BrunoBrookesDinedAlone]

Stay on here dingdong.

You'll get support in spades.

Your DS is going to be proud of you (and a lot happier thanks to your bravery in getting rid).

[dingdongdoodlebug]

You are right bruno my DS will be happier as I was much more stressed when ex-twatface was around as was worried DS was annoying him. I like to think I protected him from much of it but may be i am deluding myself.

Either way, started the day with a re-read of all the posts on this thread for a morning-strength boost

Todays goal: do my yoga dvd to bring anxiety levels down

[bringbacksideburns]

And don't respond when he contacts you?

[mammadiggingdeep]

Please don't respond to him. Are you strong enough to block his number?

[dingdongdoodlebug]

I have to respond to yesterdays email as it is about returning belongings and he has my car!!

Block his number.. if he contacts me again i will. Although he is so utterly pigheaded he won't, he will just think that i will contact him. Hmmm I suppose i should block it though... will think about that one

[dingdongdoodlebug]

bruno your description of him as a shitscrape is still making me giggle

[Buttercup27]

Well done ! Be proud for doing something that will make such a positive impact in your life. You can do this. You deserve better.

[cjelh]

Morning DINGDONG How did you sleep, was it peaceful? If he is admitting you are out of work because of him and wants to support you as a responsibility can you arrange that through a solicitor?

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Do you know I really did sleep peacefully. I have been waking up in the middle of the night a lot recently but I slept right through and had a good nights sleep.

Yes, he fully admits I lost job because of him, it would be impossible for him to deny it! He is offering to do it for 6 months so I have asked if he can just set up a direct debit, and not put money through my letterbox every week. I know some have said I shouldn't take it from him but firstly he earns 6 times what i was earning and his kids are all grown up so he can easily afford it. And it means I can take some time out and get myself well again, which has to be my focus.

[piratecat]

you were managing your depression before he came along.

your son needs his mum back. do it for your son op.

[piratecat]

how did he make you lose you job?

[cjelh]

I thought it would be something like that. I'd take the money to tide you over but make it official through the bank, not just through the letterbox. He probably doesn't want anything to show hes legally admitted liability.

So pleased you had a good nights sleep - Always a good sign

[tipsytrifle]

He sounds awful, ding.

I don't understand why he has your car. Not sure how healthy it is to accept what sounds like some kind of informal compensation for the loss of your job. I suspect there will be reins attached, which he will not hesitate to tighten.

[dingdongdoodlebug]

I dont' want to put details of how i lost my job because of him.. nor why he has my car. I would love too - just so you could see the absolute levels of his nastiness and abuse, but I don't want to risk 'outing' myself. Maybe one day I will tell all, there are only a couple of people who know me who know the full story.

Just came back on here cause I suddenly had a 'pang' of missing him. Quickly passed and knocked sense back into myself but am pissed off i had it. Suppose it is to be expected at some point but didn't think it would be this early :(

[43percentburnt]

Ding dong you are doing great. Keep posting in any moments of weakness. Go on chat, often people are posting all night, or even on the baby threads when mums are awake with babies (like me!). Keep occupied. Do yoga! Good luck.

[43percentburnt]

Ding dong you are doing great. Keep posting in any moments of weakness. Go on chat, often people are posting all night, or even on the baby threads when mums are awake with babies (like me!). Keep occupied. Do yoga! Good luck.

[LineRunner]

You are doing a great thing for your son.

[cjelh]

Just want to add how well you are doing and yes you are making the right choices!!

[dingdongdoodlebug]

Thanks guys. Definately the support on here is helping me through. All good. He is returning my car tomorrow and I am leaving his stuff out. I won't have to see him. All done and dusted. Tempting to stick a dog turd in with his stuff, but maybe not.

Amazingly, I feel well. Day 2 = success

[MyDHhasnomemory]

keep the moral high ground, and return his stuff intact. The quicker you are away from him the better. Stay strong.