He told me he is bisexual

[onbehalfof]

Met a guy on dating site 10 months ago.
Took it really slow.
Had loads of conversation about what we wanted, expectations etc.
He made big speeches about 'let's be uninhibited, let's be free, be honest'
Slept together after 4 months.
I asked him if he had ever been with a man, had boyfriends or gone down that road.
He said no.
After 10 months he told me by text that he is bisexual.
I can't believe he kept this from me.
If I had known from the start I wouldn't have gone there.

Very interested to hear different perspectives.
I feel like the whole 10 months has been a lie.

Bullying the OP? I don't think so maisie you however seem to have a low opinion of bi-sexual people, from your posts it seems that you think sleeping with both the sexes you're attracted to is a choice that should be denied

Good god alyosha do you give them a questionnaire before they speak to you? And I like how you twisted the question to 'sex in africa' rather than 'no I wouldnt go out with a nigerian'

What bullying, Maisie?

You are the only one who has brought up brainwashing. No one here is trying to force anyone into anything. Or manipulate or whatever you think is going on. It is not some bisexual conspiracy to trick right-thinking heterosexuals into bed with.

Erm... straight people pass STDs and HIV/AIDS as well.

FGS.

Tequila - Zimbabwe is not the only country in Africa to have a high incidence of HIV/Aids! Africa as a continent has huge issues with it... The NBS accepts this, deferring people with a travel history in Africa. Not sure why that's a controversial statement? And I don't think there's anything wrong with giving a little sexual health questionnaire to someone before you have sex - especially if you're not going to be using condoms. It helps with the "let's get STD checked" question...

I'vehearditallnow - Yes. But gay men and bisexual men are at much higher risk. Look at the link from the Terrence Higgins trust. Here it is again if you need it: www.tht.org.uk/get-involved/Campaign/Our-health-policies/Blood-donations

Alyosha - stop.
Really, just stop.

ALL people starting any sexual relationship should get 'checked' and anyone can spread HIV. There are lots of people who put themselves at risk by sleeping with people from other groups that put themselves at risk... it doesn't mean a straight woman should reject a bisexual man through fear of AIDS.

Daily Mail scare mongering shite.

I chose Zimbawe because it has the highest prevailence of HIV.

A sexual health questionnaire hahaha oh wow.

I'vehearditallnow: I know! I agree with you. But if a heterosexual man cheats on me with a woman, he's unlikely to get HIV. Transmission rates female-male in the UK of HIV are very low: 0.04% per act of vaginal sex, compared with 1.7% per act of receptive anal sex. So the risk is low, but it's still there. It's a valid reason.

Tequila I think that is wise. Cos the way I see it is that, this thread in its context was about OP and her personal situation. It was not an open for all discussion about bisexuality. She was not commenting on ALL bisexuals, she was commenting on ONE bisexual. I share her some of her emotions, cos I had to deal with FOUR bisexuals during my online dating. This is still not a swipe at ALL bisexuals. So for other bisexuals to then come onto the thread and make it about them, is indeed personalising this. If these bisexuals is not going to be dating the OP, or was the bisexuals that the OP is talking of, then why are they offended ? Are you suggesting that the OP is not entitled to a life and choose which person to date and be with ? There is a "private" to a "public" element here.

I do not like a few posters who accused others of homophobia. Not at all ! Cos it is blowing the context of this thread out into large proportion. In reverse, if I did not respected them and followed THEIR sentiments, isn't this actually a form of hetero-phobia ? Because it is you know. I have never ever had to do this in my life, and I never had to question this myself, but if I must, then I must do this now I suppose. Yes, it is hetero-phobia. Inacceptance of me as a person who declares that I am heterosexual and that I prefer men. Other bisexuals are harassing me and arguing with me on that.

Hey, I like to protect my health. I also avoid heterosexual men with lots of previous sexual partners. My preference, and a way of lowering the risk of STDs. I've got good dose of health anxiety...

Stats for the above btw: www.hivlawandpolicy.org/resources/heterosexual-risk-hiv-1-infection-sexual-act-systematic-review-and-meta-analysis

This is like being in a f'ing sand pit at play school.
Some of you really need to grow up.

"Heterophobia"? "Beware the bisexuals, they might have AIDS!!" "I worked with a lot of gays in the office and they ALL HATED BABIES!"...
SERIOUSLY??

Good luck OP - hope you meet a man who's 100% straight (by the way there's not really any such thing...) and that your XDP meets someone who is acccepting of his sexuality. Easy.

Toodle pip y'all.

PS: See you at the tennis courts, Lolly

So do you ask how many people they've slept with? Genuine question btw I'm interested as to how it would work. I wouldn't dream of asking and if anyone asked me they wouldn't get a truthful answer

PS: Lots of stories of women who have only ever been with their husband and still develop AIDS btw...

I'veseenitallbefore: The Terrence Higgins trust, that well known "Daily Mail scaremongering" website, has this useful explanation of the incidence of HIV in different groups in the UK www.tht.org.uk/sexual-health/About-HIV/How-common-is-HIV_qm_

I know I'vehearditallnow: these tend to be bisexual men or gays in the closet, or injecting drug users, or men who go on business trips to Africa. Hence my reasons for avoiding these particular risk groups...!

Tequila - yup! Awkward. A trip to the STD clinic then follows, a romantic exchange of NHS text message results after that...it's all very romantic :D

Stop putting that f'ing link up.
We've all seen it.
Well done.

It's you who sounds like a thick bigot, btw - not that AIDS charity!

I said 'sounds like' btw - not that you are.

Ivehearditallnow I am talking about emotional manipulation. I have never mentioned anything about AIDs and whatnots. That was someone else. I mean, one person broke the rule and flame in a dramatic way, so why can't the other ladies do the same and have an "equal voice" ?

Feminism rule. Yes. I think I found my voice now. I never knew I had to defend myself like this, but yes, if I must. Then I must.

PS: See you at the tennis courts, Lolly

lol, c u there oh tall one

Alyosha Ok, ok, now these info is putting me off men like, almost, forever....

Whatever happened to romance ?

Aww, so kind. Could you let me know what part of what I said you disagree with? The fact that bisexual men are at a higher risk of HIV? The fact that injecting users are at a higher risk of HIV? The fact that men who have a lot of sex in Zimbabwe/Democratic Republic of Congo are at a higher risk of HIV? I'm interested to know! Is it not reducing one's risk by choosing not to sleep with bisexual men/injecting drug users/people who have a lot of sex in countries with a high incidenc of HIV (including Ukraine, for that matter!)

Maisie: it died in the 1980s :p

Maisie - Eh? Erm, wasn't talking to or about you. Rumour has it this thread wasn't about your problem to begin with...

OP has gone so not sure why we're still squabbling.

Alyosha i'm not disputing the facts you keep ramming in to everyone's faces - nice stats by the way - just saying using them to justify rejecting someone as a partner is very sinister - in my opinion.

Do what you want and interview potential suitors - good luck to you.

Sinister? As good a reason as any, I would have thought! Anyway, I feel I've derailed this a bit...OP, I'm sure you will find someone else, who will respect your desires & need for honesty.