Am I being over worried or is this a red flag?

[Hormonalhell]

Been seeing my guy couple of months. We've been so happy last few weeks and even said the 'L' word to each other. We've met each other's kids and spend a lot of time together. Had an amazing last few days then yesterday I received a drunken message from an old flame on FB. The text was quite suggestive and my guy was pretty pissed off! He told the guy not to contact me again.

Since then things went downhill, I thought he seemed a bit cool and was suppose to come over tonight. He cancelled saying he going out with his sister now instead.

I just feel really upset although he says we are fine, just have a gut feeling things going wrong.

Just wondered if it me being paranoid?

No.you don't love his kids after a month.and he doesnt love yours after a month
Seriously,listen to yourself.you dont know him,you have no deep rapport with kids
You cannot possibly love his kids.he cannot possibly love your kids.end of

In these couple of months, have you seen each other almost every day or is it a weekend thing, couple of times a week etc?

Not few month.shes said dating a month
And she loves his kids

Are you dating peter Andre?

I've been seeing him TWO months but was chatting online couple of weeks prior to meeting.

I see him almost every day now and see his kids very often too. His two youngest are 5 and 3 and yes maybe I've stepped into mummy's shoes but they happy and so am I!

Linerunner yes I think that's what it is communication and I'm trying my best to be open and honest not deviously hiding messages from him

Please refer to original post Scottishmummy

I am confused.. first you said this:

I showed him the message Pagwatch as I didn't want him to think I was hiding messages like that from him.

Then this

As I said Kelly we were looking at FB together n the message was there unopened ( I hadn't realised it was there) and he saw it.

I don't quite understand. If I get a PM and my husband was looking at my Facebook (it would never happen) I wouldn't feel the need to let him see it.

I will be honest, I actually did move very fast with my second husband when there were children involved. It worked out well for us but looking back I can't believe I took that risk and would never advise anyone else to do it. I admit I was selfish and didn't put my children first then like I should have done. While it did work and we are all very happy I still feel bad that at that time I didn't think enough about how the children might feel. I got lucky, it could so have easily gone the other way. I judge myself for that all the time.

Slow down, please.

Noo you have not stepped into 'Mummy's shoes'

Just stop.

Wow,id better get back on my box.dating TWO month and you love his kids,stepped in mummy shoes

You have so NOT stepped into their Mum's shoes. WTAF.

TWO month total known each other,inc a month face to face dating,and you've filled mummy shoes
You seriously have boundary issues and unrealistic expectations of dating

Yawn. Grow up!

I think if I am being honest the real red flag here is that the emotional investment in your boyfriend's children is happening way, way too early.

If you break up, that will be that. You will be like the au pair who is no longer required. The 'bond' that you thought you had will not matter a jot. You really need to take this carefully. Sorry if that's harsh but that's the reality.

Oh please....this post is not about the children it really isn't the issue for us

You dont know if he's still dating you,it has stalled.despite you being new mummy and loving his kids

Your kids aren't an issue? You bring a strange person you met on the internet into their lives after 5 minutes, and he into his kids' lives, you step into 'Mummy's shoes in the blink of an eye and it's all about your lurve and all this adolescent drama involving a sleazeball who just wanted a shag on FB?

Okay . . .

You have kids,they are the issue,they are the be and all.they are it
Youre jumping ablut llike a loved up,teen fantasising playing mom to his kids
The red flag is you,your poor boundary setting.yiur inability to see kids are the issue

I would bin you off for your ex sending you a sleazy message whether you invited it or not. None of my exes have ever sent me sleazy messages . I'd wonder whether you regularly engaged that sort of sleaze , and I'd also wonder what sort of people you usually go out with.

I really don't know why you chose to open that message in front of him. You don't need to show him messages and surely you knew it was from your ex ?

I would laugh out loud if someone said they loved my kids after a month. I agree with others that this all sounds very romantic , fairy tale sort of thing. Then again I'm a cynical old git. If I try very hard I can conjure up a far away memory of having been in love.

Well maybe that's why he backing off then, as he worried I'm getting too close to his kids.

Maybe you are all right.

Result!

You're in no way too close ti his kids,you're the bird he met online 2month ago

Just give him 'til tomorrow and if he hasn't been in touch, remind him that you've just got rid of one jealous, possessive child and you can't be putting up with another.

And hes shot of the woman who thinks shws new mom,fills the shoes after 2month

I do expect he will be talking to his sister about you, and the relationship.

Next thing she'll be up the duff. Please don't OP. learn to parent the kids you have. Though I doubt you'll listen.

Thanks Neiljames and Linerunner for your useful advice and comments.

All the rest of you....