Am I being over worried or is this a red flag?

[Hormonalhell]

Been seeing my guy couple of months. We've been so happy last few weeks and even said the 'L' word to each other. We've met each other's kids and spend a lot of time together. Had an amazing last few days then yesterday I received a drunken message from an old flame on FB. The text was quite suggestive and my guy was pretty pissed off! He told the guy not to contact me again.

Since then things went downhill, I thought he seemed a bit cool and was suppose to come over tonight. He cancelled saying he going out with his sister now instead.

I just feel really upset although he says we are fine, just have a gut feeling things going wrong.

Just wondered if it me being paranoid?

How did you meet him, OP? Do you have any mutual friends, for instance?

That's probably why he's seen his arse then. His ex does a runner leaving him and the kids and now his new squeeze is getting random messages off another bloke.

Well I've blocked the sleaze now so I'm hoping we will sort it out. No word from him as yet though

I met him online Linerunner

What even can you do at this point? He's pulled back. Don't run after him. See if he comes back and then decide if there is anything "to do" about the situation.

You couldn't make this up.

If he's a sulker take care. Your life will quickly become a mass of trying to keep him happy. If, as you say, you have form for falling for this kind of guy, then in your shoes I would take great care. It does sound rather like a red flag to me, much as I know you don't want it to be.

You met a stranger on,ine.within month its love,you meet each Others kids
Christ alive.you need to slow right down and get some boundaries and pace
Rightly so,new man has gone quiet,probably wondering wtf its all about

OP, I think then it does take a lot longer to build up trust, because you have no mutual network network of friends or acquaintances to 'vouch' for each other. Additionally, like neiljames says, he's been badly let down by his ExW.

You need to communicate. Try to see it from each other's perspectives. There's no need to worry the silly event to death, just think what you could both have done differently to help build trust.

(So says the eternal optimist...)

If your ex husband was controlling and jealous, you have probably attracted the same kind of bloke again. You need to break this cycle. As I said, I don't think you will leave this bloke yet, you're too loved up and the blinkers are on... but please, at least, be mindful of the games he could play and how much you are changing to not upset or antagonise him.

You've got no sense of romance have you scottishmummy ?

A month dating is nothing.too soon to meet kids.too fast,and hes unknown to you
You cant corroborate what hes like,have no point if reference to check.and same for him about you
why are you still in fb contact with sleazy men only after a shag.get that blocked

I agree with scottishmummy.

Can't quite believe you'd introduce a complete stranger, that you don't know from Adam, to your kids after four weeks. I'm not easily shocked, but this is piss poor parenting. Sorry.

Fuck romance.thats for movies and fools.this is two parents,being irresponsible and too fast
When you have kids you need to vet the man you introduce them to,not charge in
If you two continue to date,you must take slower sensible pace

Romance, Jeremy Kyle style, neil.

Ok,look two singletons no kids,be as fast and out there as you want.elope,move in,whatever
Kids involved they need to cool their jets.hes online stranger,unvetted but meeting her kids
And same for her,shes online stranger meeting his kids.

Linerunner yes wish I'd never opened FB now causes so much trouble

High horses are being mounted I see

For me, that's a real issue of online dating - not having any mutual acquaintances at the beginning to tell you what they think someone's like, about their past, their marriage, who ended it, whether their work history's real ...

Hence the very good advice to take things slowly and keep your feet on the ground.

We both are good parents and love each other's kids actually. I didn't enquire about my parenting skills actually so please jog on parenting police

No dont blame fb,you're the one still in touch with a sleazeball ex(your term)
You met a stranger online,introduce to your kids and now its potentially gone tits up
Look at your own judgement,why do you stay in touch with sleaze,why did man of month met your kids

We did add each other on FB so could gain more insight into each other's lives and as far as I can gather he's not a serial killer

There is lots of common sense on this thread but I think you want to ignore anything that doesn't fit with your 'whirlwind passion' vision.

Your op seems filled with childish, impetuous acts excused because it's 'love'.

I'm not in touch with him, he pm's me but can't now as blocked!

Oh sorry just seen your latest post. I'm not on fb but will probably crack sometime this year!

My OH uses it and gets the odd daft message but I leave it to him to deal with them. Actually he's now once asked me how he should respond to a specially annoying one. That made me feel trusted, not jealous or insecure. He in turn felt trusted and ceased to be anxious that I might 'mind' about stuff like that. It took a bit of communication to get there, though.