how many people here dont have an orgasm through penatration?

[Londonlost]

Just that really. Wondering if it is common not to? Thanks

Twice in the 15 years I've been having sex.

I do but not every time

Weatherall bit baffled by your comment. Penetration feels great whether I have an orgasm or not (sometimes I do, sometimes I don't) and I don't just do it purely with the aim of an orgasm. I would imagine that's the case for most women. Wouldn't be put off by "health risks" (?!)

What about the health risks associated withnon piv acts weatherall

Thats a bit weird, in that case maybe people shouldnt take part in any sexual acts, after all giving dp a blow job wont make me come, im doing it purely for his benefit

Weatherall It's not just orgasm. Penetration feel really good-really intimate and special. More special I think than any other sex in the feeling of 'connection' it gives us. Orgasm or not it gives us both loads of peasure.

You sound like you find it a bit disgusting? Or am I misunderstanding the icky?

I agree weatherall I think if sex were less focused on men's wants there would be less piv. Pregnancy is the biggest health risk from piv and only affects women. There are so, so many unplanned pregnancy that women have to take the burden of just for 5 minutes of thrusting. Pregnancy is a dangerous thing both physically and if unplanned mentally. Std's also pose a big risk and condom use is clearly not taken seriously. It makes it feel slightly less different for the man so let's risk it! I think if people focused more on non piv activities and experimented with them they could get just as much satisfaction, intimacy and pleasure without the risk.

I think some of you must be with the wrong type of nen, sex in this house is not focused on the mans wants

Type of men not nen obviously

Weatherall, what ARE you talking about?

PIV sex feels great, regardless of orgasm. I do lots of thing because my DH loves them, just as he does for me. That is all part of a great sex life.
Orgasm is wonderful, but it's only a small part over all.

What health risks? No risk of pregnancy, same man for over 20 years, I don't see any risks! Maybe a pulled muscle, not much else.

I can only assume that you don't enjoy sex.

I love piv sex. I think it feels amazing, and I bloody love the feeling of being close to my boyfriend.

And health risks? I managed to get hsv1 through oral sex, unusual but not impossible and wouldn't come up in normal std checks and condoms wouldn't have helped. So non piv in my case proved riskier than piv!

I might not orgasm through penetration, but it feels fantastic and definitely helps me on my way for afterwards.

And yes, I have one of those boyfriends who loves oral sex. I would almost say he loves giving it more than I like being on the receiving end (joke :-D)

Nope. Only one person has been able to make that happen more than once. DP gets close though!

The key is understanding what gets your wife/lady off. Most men are pretty useless and don't have a clue. Especially if they've not had many sexual partners. I found you couldn't possibly know how to please a woman until you've had a good few partners. An older lady really helps out with this too.

I learned a lot about sex with my current wife. Fortunately when we got together I was very vocal when we were having sex and guided her on what I liked. Because of this she was very confident and vocal with me and she told me and showed me what to do to get her off. Fortunately she can orgasm from intercourse however I usually get her off prior to this through clitoral stimulation, this gets her really aroused and makes it pretty easy for her to orgasm through intercourse. However I can read her facial expressions and moans and groans and I can tell if it's not hitting the a pot and if this is the case we'll do something else to up the arousal levels to the point where I know she's going to orgasm.

The main issue is that the bulk of men don't seem to know or care about how to arouse their wife/partner and kinda just get into grinding away expecting it to just happen. It really helps if a woman tells them what gets them off though. My wife showed me a few things and to be totally honest I could make her organs twenty times in a row if I wanted to but I wouldn't have known how to do this if she hadn't showed me. Communication is the key to excellent sex!

However I'm pretty sure I never made my previous sexual partners orgasm which is a real shame looking back on it but I just didn't have the knowledge or experience. They'd be better teaching this in school rather than the bullshit sex education that currently exits.

Adayinthelifeof "They'd be better teaching this in school rather than the bullshit sex education that currently exits."

I agree, they should certainly teach you that if you can't talk openly to someone about what you're doing you probably shouldn't be doing it with them! Communication really is the key and perhaps as you get older you are more confident and outspoken as well as more experienced.

To those who can't see the point of PIV if you don't orgasm, plenty of women don't orgasm every time regardless of method, but still enjoy the closeness and sensations of sex with someone they love and/or fancy.

For me it usually makes one happen directly afterwards, but it's also the direct bodily contact, looking into his eyes, feeling the weight of my man on me, that make it so appealing.

Clitoral stimulation is what does it for me.

Lynda but if it can give an equal level of pleasure to me it seems a risk not worth taking.
Look at how many women have unplanned pregnancies and look at the std rates. These things in the majority affect women. I think if most men didn't see piv as the only 'real' kind of sex and sex education talked about other acts more then this would reduce these outcomes which negatively impact women.

I think it's a real shame to skip intercourse for the sake of STDs and pregnancies. There are ways to deal with unwanted pregnancies starting with contraception. Also if your concerned about STDs just make sure a new partner is tested and you are also. I'd not be interested in staying with someone who didn't want to have intercourse. It's the most intimate thing you can do as a couple.

itsbetter yes, in the ain, pregnancy does usually affect women

But it's not an equal level of pleasure, it's a completely different kind of pleasure. One which many people enjoy regardless of whether or not it ends in orgasm.

It's like saying instead of kissing you should just do cuddling as there's less chance of passing germs or coldsores etc. They are both nice, they both make people feel loved and close, but they are not interchangeable. I wouldn't want to swap kisses for cuddles or vice versa, I like both! Similarly I enjoy sex and orgasms and wouldn't want to only have one or the other.

I don't agree it's the most intimate thing you can do as a couple. I don't think lesbians couples are less intimate because they can't have piv.
If contraception is so good then why do so many people have unwanted pregnancies? Because people don't use it well or at all. To me when one looks at it objectively it seems like an unnecessary risk when there are so many other sexual acts that don't put semen onto the cervix.

I recently had two vaginal orgasms one right after the other whilst being on top.new partner who is amazing helps . never happened with exh.

Yes. Most times we have sex depending on where my head is and how tired I am. Never "on top" (ever, with anyone) and never through oral sex. I can DIY very quickly . I remember my sister being disgusted with me when I drumkenly told her I'd been doing it myself from age 14, very nicely, thank you!

My DH knows all the right buttons to press. .

I can't do it through oral sex either

Tbh I've always found it crap but men I've been with seemed love doing it. But they perhaps all had a shit technique as I've heard other women rave about it :S

inspirationfailed it made you want to pee? that's what I used to feel when having digital stimulation. one time I though "what would happen if I carried on even though I feel.like having a wee? would I wee?" nope, I just had an orgasm instead. I think because it's all close together, it feels like one thing when it's another.

Nope, not a big fan of oral. I don't think it's anything to do with technique or previous partners, I just don't "get" it. I like giving oral but the whole legs akimbo, cold tits thing.... No.

Prefer giving oral to getting it. Like it but never come from it. Love the fact that OH loves doing it and it being done to him!