how many people here dont have an orgasm through penatration?

[Londonlost]

Just that really. Wondering if it is common not to? Thanks

Raxa, I used to feel the same way as you and to some extent I still do. I think I am wired differently to everyone else as even having my breasts touched does nothing for me. I may as well be numb. BUT using a vibrator really helped me to see that actually I can feel an orgasm, it's just that I need a lot more stimulation than fingers or tongues can ever give me. I also don't like the idea of touching myself so using a toy takes that element away.
I think I grew up to feel ashamed of showing enjoyment and that sex was something not to speak about. It meant I was never able to tell my husband what turned me on until we had been together a long time.
What have you got you lose by buying one and having a go?

CanIhave, I hate having my breasts touched but this is compounded by 6 years (and counting) of breastfeeding so far. I'm so bloody touched out by having small children that the idea of discovering any part of my body is anathema to me. I just want to be left alone.

I wouldn't even know where to start with vibrators. I mean what do you go for. There are bullets and rabbits and all sorts of gizmos. And they're ruddy expensive. I'm not sure it's worth it. I also have NO time without the dc so am not sure when I'm going to shoehorn self-pleasuring into my day. Self-pleasuring is a cup of tea while it's still hot.

I do on rare occassions but (and I must stress this enough) that penetrative orgasm is always much weaker than the other type (clitoris). So for those who have not experienced it, I say it is not that much really. I much prefer my own orgasm (sorry!)

Raxa have a look at lovehoney's website. I just searched for quiet ones so I don't wake up the DCs! There are loads of reviews so you know what you're getting and it all arrives in a very subtle brown box without pictures or logos on it! Apparently they even do a 12 month money back guarantee!

Och it can't be all bad, even if I never orgasm. At least I don't work in lovehoney's returns department.

I am browsing a shocking range of lurid phallus-shaped monstrosities whilst sipping my warm milk. Why are they all neon bloody pink?

At least I don't work in lovehoney's returns department.

I think you're not allowed to return them unless they're still in the original sealed packaging, are you? Might be totally wrong there.

They're not all neon pink. You can get snot green colour and all sorts.

EBear I saw a documentary about love honey and you can return them for whatever reason, used and tried, even if just didn't like it. They don't have to be in sealed packets. They handle the returns with plastic gloves on. All a bit grim!

I dunno if you're interested in a male perspective but if you're talking about orgasming purely from the PIV sex, with no direct manual clitoral stimulation at the same time, I'd say maybe a quarter of all the women I've ever been with could, tops.

It seems to be an area of massive ignorance, both from women like the OP who think there's something wrong with them, and from men like her BF who think making every woman cum during PIV every time is the basic benchmark of being a satisfactory lover.

I'm convinced that for one thing, there's just huge physical variety in the way women are built down there. That makes it difficult too because personal experiences can be so different, so advice might be limited in its usefulness.

The important thing is to be open to everything that sex can be, and to find the experience as a whole happy and satisfying for both parties.

I saw a documentary about love honey and you can return them for whatever reason, used and tried, even if just didn't like it. They don't have to be in sealed packets. They handle the returns with plastic gloves on.

Well, top marks for customer service, I guess!

Raxa go for a Wi Vibe. Great for couples. Trust me!

Surely orgasm is a mixture of physical stimulation and the right mindset? It's not just a question of dispassionately rubbing away at the right bits.

What I find hard to understand is that there are men who don't take pride in being a good lover- what kind of dolt is so lazy and unimaginative to stick to a bit of in-an-out and expect plaudits?

I couldn't before having a baby, and the way it first happened was by accident (stimulating an area I wouldn't usually think to...away from my clitoris toward my bottom by tilting my hips more!).

Completely different to a clitoral orgasm, and much better.

I can't and only one of my friends can. A man who thinks all women can is crap in bed. They should be going for the clit and wanting to please you!

Boeuf it works both ways though, I'm sure there are plenty of women who don't want to put the work in to please their bloke and are content with laying there and letting him do the work.

My DP was a self-confessed selfish lover in the past. He just didn't really consider making her happy and I presume she was satisfied with what she got (or perhaps not, as they split up!) but he didn't get much in return either.

However with me, he spends ages making sure I'm happy before even thinking of himself and I am always happy to do whatever it takes for him too. Being giving makes us both happy and seeing the effect we have on each other spurs us both on to greater things!

PIV is the very least of it and very rarely the climax for either of us.

I do but not just any kind of penetration- the angle needs to be right and he needs to vary how deep and how fast/slow to get it right, and I like other things with it, not just penetration. He takes instruction quite well !

I can, everytime. But i think it is because dh and i are a good fit. He doesn't have the biggest willy ever ( average i'd guess) and I'm not claiming to be super tight down there but he hits me in just the right spot. Chances are another partner wouldn't.

I think there's definitely something to what Figrus says. Until OH, it had never happened for me before through penetration. Something to do with size and fit and height, body fit etc and effect on where pressure goes. He says is also to do with him being fantastic in bed.

From a male perspective there is one advantage from a woman not being able to orgasm solely through PIV (or at all that way). Another reason to go downstairs with tongue, as it were.

Forallthesaints. Some men are happy to do that because they like it you know, not just because it's the only way their partner can climax :o (or am I just unusually lucky :o)

I must be lucky too then fuzz, dp loves doing it

To the posters who don't climax through piv- why do you do it?

I can understand if ttc but if it's just to 'please your man' (shudder) that seems icky to me.

Weatherall, I do it because I love it. It feels wonderful both physically and dare I say emotionally/spiritually (in the sense of feeling connected) despite it not leading to an actual climax

Wetherall, for the same reason that people like to kiss, massage, or touch any other part of the body! It still feels good!

Does that really make up for the health risks associated with piv though?

Why not just do other non piv sex?