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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Whoops! Slept with one of my best friends!

204 replies

MoonshineWashingLine · 13/04/2014 11:16

Known my very good friend for nearly 14 years, nothing has ever happened before but then we've never been single at the same time before...

We were pretty drunk but not steaming. I have just come out of a long term relationship (and have one dd) and my ex was verbally/emotionally abusive. I have been single for just a month. My friend didn't take advantage of me or anything, I feel anything but vulnerable, in fact I feel pretty good :)

Plus it was really good, passionate sex that I haven't experienced in quite some time!

I do fancy my friend quite a bit but it is a bit soon and he has a quite a history of relationships amongst our friends, as do I! So I am wary of moving too fast and I also don't want to scare him off. We both knew what we were doing was probably inappropriate but we did it anyway.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? We get on so well and I don't want to risk messing up our friendship but at the same time I think we would be a great couple if we actually got it together. I don't really know how he feels though....

OP posts:
Raskova · 16/04/2014 05:51

Well that was worth waiting for Hmm

He's possibly trying to play it cool. What are you going to do?

Original poster
MoonshineWashingLine · 16/04/2014 07:02

I don't know, I might just 'see how it goes'... will have a proper think tonight. Busy day today!

OP posts:
TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 16/04/2014 07:26

I'd see how it gues - not long to wait now!

Atbeckandcall · 16/04/2014 07:39

Only just caught up. The message you sent was fine btw.

Don't read too much info his reply. If you really are good friends he might be feeling weird that the friendship might go wrong if there is sex? Mind you, what the fuck do I know? I have been on a date since I was 16!

KathrynJaneway · 16/04/2014 07:55

See if that was me I think I'd be backing off a little there, that message back wasn't overly enthusiastic was it? I say if he wants you let him do the chasing now, you've made the offer, go back to your normal friendly self and let him start making more of an effort and see what happens??

Original poster
MoonshineWashingLine · 16/04/2014 08:26

Yeah I was thinking that Kathryn... he is probably wary and maybe rightly so, I just tend to throw caution to the wind where stuff like this concerned! I always dive in head first, maybe I will take it easy for a change...

OP posts:
KathrynJaneway · 16/04/2014 08:59

I would be the same! Can dole out the advice but can't follow it myself :) would be excited too and hoping he feels the same.
I've heard men like the chase so maybe it's time for him to start :-)

n1ght0wl · 16/04/2014 09:38

Love these threads too - so hope it works out as you want OP

Original poster
MoonshineWashingLine · 16/04/2014 20:30

Gutted! I can't go out on Friday, babysitter didn't work out :(

OP posts:
AndiPandi · 16/04/2014 20:37

Might be a good thing, help you to play cool?

Original poster
MoonshineWashingLine · 16/04/2014 20:46

Spoke too soon, just got one! Back in the game! :)

OP posts:
DustBunnyFarmer · 16/04/2014 21:44

It would have been interesting to see his response if you'd not been able to make it on Friday...

Original poster
MoonshineWashingLine · 16/04/2014 22:07

I actually text him saying I wasn't having much luck getting a baby sitter and he said 'oh no!' And said something about it being good Friday. Now I told him I can go and he hasn't replied yet! Frigging hell... I give up. Think I'll play it cool from now on...

OP posts:
PlantsAndFlowers · 16/04/2014 22:23

Oh god - horrible to not know where you stand!

Original poster
MoonshineWashingLine · 16/04/2014 22:35

I know, sod it... if he wants me he can come get me Grin

OP posts:
jaynebxl · 16/04/2014 23:09

Don't text him any more. Are arrangements already made for Friday? Is it a group thing? I think if so you should just turn up Friday now and be friendly but not too much so. See now it goes but don't text him any more now until you see him. Unless he texts you first of course!

Botanicbaby · 16/04/2014 23:27

agree with kathryn, I think you should hang back a bit on texting him too. seen this happen before in my group of friends when one of them was way more invested in it than the other (not necessarily saying this is the case here). hope it works out for you both.

btw, whoever said upthread that you can see when a message has been read on an iphone, that can easily be changed in the settings menu.

Raskova · 17/04/2014 06:04

Yes it can easily be changed. DDs DF has changed it and I never bloody know, the swine! He's the only one though. Grin

Original poster
MoonshineWashingLine · 17/04/2014 08:54

Yeah, he did reply last night saying 'hurrah for (babysitter)!' But I have left it at that. No more texting now! Just gonna play it cool on Friday. :)

OP posts:
Mrswellyboot · 17/04/2014 09:02

Definitely play it cool. I think you've let him know you're keen so step back I'd say

Raskova · 17/04/2014 10:35

Hurrah for babysitter indeed. Yep, play it cool. You will let us all know how it goes won't u? Xx

Original poster
MoonshineWashingLine · 17/04/2014 13:23

Of course, apart from my mum MNers are the only people who know about it! Grin

OP posts:
TonyThePony · 17/04/2014 19:55

< not placemarking, nope, not me... > Grin

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 17/04/2014 19:57

Oh that's good!

ladygracie · 17/04/2014 22:14

Just wanted to say about the phone thing. If you are on the phone & it appears at the top but you don't read it, it still appears as read for some reason. I sent my dd a stroppy message as I thought she was ignoring me but she hadn't read them. Not sure if that helps. Fingers crossed for tomorrow night