DCs went on holiday (abroad) with soon to be ex H, supposed to be back y'day - no sign.

[januarycat]

early stages of divorce.

The 3yo hasn't ever spent a night away from me. they were supposed to be back y'day. h phoned today to say it will be sunday. he said he'd told me when they left - he didn't, in fact he said they would travel thursday, be back following thursday.

he is playing games & was being very 'oh, dear, did you forget I told you it would be sunday?'

he has made threats in the past to take them away.

I have phoned the police (101) to log it. they said phone back on sunday if no sign & think about getting a court order.

he thinks it's funny & was being patronising & sarcastic on the phone, he finished the call by saying how lovely it was to talk to me. he is doing what he knows will hurt me the most.

Did I do the right thing calling the police. h is emotionally abusive & i often doubt how I feel/think/react.

Thanks for any advice.

Right.

I am going to email DM tonight regarding money for legal fees.

H gets a kick out of the withholding money thing. he says he can't afford to give me money for food, then goes on holiday.

Would Woman's Aid be able to help putting her in contact with Rights of Women?

I feel sick on your behalf OP, please call the police and everyone and anyone, borrow money from whoever and get that order.

I don't want to scare you, but I think you need to find out if he has got them Australian passports (embassy?).
I'm sorry but quitting his job seems really dodgy to me. I'd be worried he's taking them back to Australia, especially if you don't actually know where they are. Can you also contact the British embassy in Australia? I would guess if you had some court order in place before they were to land there then things would be a lot simpler to sort out.

I think you need to get back to the police.

Good luck, I really hope they do come back on Sunday, but you need to start enquiries ASAP.

Did he fly or drive? Which port? I'm so sorry for you love, will be thinking of you till I know your babies are home.

Does anyone else know where he is staying.

OP have a look through the MN information re the Legal Aid changes last year. I don't know whether your case of the children being removed from the UK would apply as an exemption. You'd need to seek legal advice.

Re applying to court for orders and the court fees, you may be entitled to remission from the fees. Have a look at this information to see if you qualify.

Good luck OP.

Yes, indeed, ASAP.

I don't think rights of women are as important as the deprogramming which seems to be desperately needed.

You've had several threads January... Frighteningly on the last one you were worried he would abduct them and so were others yet now you've apparently let them go on holiday abroad with him despite him never even having had them to sleep over in his house a few miles away.

He has a frightening hold over you IMO.

I can only imagine how you must be feeling.

I sincerely hope he turns up on Sunday.

Contacting rightsofwomen I mean but yes women's aid would support to call them.

Don't panic. Chances are he'll bring them back on Sunday.

But yes, start pursuing legal avenues, and get the CSA on the case.

Iirc rights of women are the legal people that help with injunctions and legal advice.

See the trouble is January has had ALL this advice before and has not successfully managed to really get away. I really really really think she needs the support of women's aid in order to be able to successfully do all the other necessary things. She's still completely under his spell. On the last thread afraid he'd abduct them and now having let him take them on a holiday where it looks like he may have done or may be trying to scare her that he has.

Legal people are ncdv.org.uk

Not liking the way this is going. Really hope he brings them back on Sunday. Have you spoken to them? How old are they?

i'm pretty certain that the DCs do not have OZ passports yet, the 10yo needs to have some sort of interview in london for that.

their cousin was staying nearby, i have left a message for her via facebook.

toxic DM said this would happen if I let them go. I think I will phone her tomorrow. it's late now & I don't want her having a sleepless night - she's a worrier.

Please don't phone toxic dm - how will she help?

Ok, so do you know where the cousin is? Do any of her posts say "posted from town name"? Because that would give you some idea of where they could be that you could tell the police.

Why would they need Oz passports? Could they not travel there on UK ones?
I didn't know the history for this one, but I really, really hope our fears are unfounded.

you are right, Offred.

I am wondering if the DM is as toxic as you think. Not saying you are lying but that perhaps your view of her is skewed thanks to STBX, she certainly seems to have the measure of him.

If she will lend you the money you need (or better, you can get the fees waived) then go for it. Needs must and all that

Clam I was wondering that but perhaps its because if they enter on Oz passports with dual citizenship it may be harder to repatriate them?

Please think about calling WA January. I'm not trying to blame you, I'm worried that he has such a hold over you and it needs to be broken. Calling the police was right in this case. Absolutely right so you can tell that when you're away from him you're OK, he just messes with your head.

Yes, but presumably OP know the numbered of the uk passports so they could be traced. Plus DC would need a visa to enter Australia on a uk passport (?) whereas would be no question if an Australian one.

I think you need hand holding and to be led a bit through this. They can help with all the things. You didn't call before because you felt it had to be an emergency but it is definitely an emergency this time isn't it?

Thats a point actually, if they entered on UK passports then they would have to go through immigration etc, with Oz passports they wouldnt so would be easier to slip under the net. It is good if they havent got Oz passports, and makes it more unlikely he will take them there.