I've been pootling around on pof with the gigantic sin of not having a photo, and it's amazing how quickly you develop your own quick lists.
Nos for me are:
Even sodding mentioning wake boarding or snowboarding (unless you want to tell me how crap you are at it, which is quite endearing.). Why do I want to go out with someone I can't recognise on the slopes, hurtling down dangerous bends in order to impress me? No thanks, I'll be in the bar with the people with uncovered faces.
Saying that anyone will need to understand that his kids come first. Of course your kids come first, so do mine. Suggesting otherwise sort of already paints the other sex with the feature of being self-obsessed and neglectful, so you've insulted me before we've even made contact.
I don't mind "lol". It's just an abbreviation. I do mind if you can't spell and you don't make sense. It's difficult to flirt with someone that requires Babelfish.
What does "some college" mean? Everyone seems to have it. Does it include speed awareness courses? Did no-one ever graduate?
I like the profiles where they describe themselves in an original way, like a used car or something. It shows creativity and humour. It's not as if they know their audience yet so they may as well come up with something amusing.
I think the best one I've seen was fairly normal until he started talking about the fact that he'd broken his leg and put in a sort of advert for a temporary carer position at the end of his ad. If only life were that easy, mate.