Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Daters/Online daters - what comments/behaviour instantly think "nope?"

303 replies

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 31/03/2014 19:14

I'm mildly addicted to flicking through profiles on POF. Rarely meet anyone. Sometimes I end up chatting to people but mostly I barely even continue past a few messages. I know I'm intolerant but so many things annoy me:

  • Self-proclaimed music snobs who send you links to "awesome" bands and have a 30 strong list of the most obscure bands possible on their profile. Hate being forced to listen to some else's music - it just guarantees I will dislike it.
  • Men who try so hard to sound reasonable and "modern man" but slip up with gems such as "I don't mind you having your own career," or "looking for a passionate girl but not TOO opinionated, lol."
  • Anyone who tells anyone to "jog on" (cringe) *People who message, then follow it up five minutes later with "You there?" "Not talking then?" or "Oh...ok then....bye."

What are your instant turn-offs?

Disclaimer - I'm very aware I'm not perfect and probably have many irritating aspects to my personality!

OP posts:
taxiforme · 08/04/2014 15:24

Do you cam?
What dress size are you?
Looking for fun.
No pic at all or unusually handsome man.
Or please god after a few convos he starts " I have just been in a car accident/robbery and I need £500 to replace my passport/ send to my dying child ect ect"
Or basically, anything which looks too good to be true. Yes that's you, JON who put up the pic of one if the red arrows pilots on your profile.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 08/04/2014 15:26

Hmsdad, glad to hear you've found someone!

OP posts:
taxiforme · 08/04/2014 15:28

Oh and for the record I agree with hmsdad pof was full of blokes wanting casual or married/in a relationship. I am talking 7/8 years ago, I don't know what it is like now.

I met my hubby on match and we are very very happy..married 4 years now! I would never have found him otherwise as I work from home and live in the middle of nowhere.

BitOutOfPractice · 08/04/2014 16:50

I found my lovely DP on POF

I had two short but very fun "relationships". One was with a guy who lives in the same street at me...small world eh?

georgiestears · 08/04/2014 17:10

Enjoying my first foray into this and I'm running a mile from anyone who:

  1. Asks me out for a "meal". Who says that word?
  2. Has their shirt off in any photo
  3. Has a selfie anywhere in their photos
  4. Sends me a message with text speak in it

Will go through and read all the other comments now!

MadeMan · 08/04/2014 17:55

"1. Asks me out for a "meal". Who says that word?"

You have to when you fine dine at McDonalds. You're not up for a cheeseburger, medium fries and a Coke then?

SilverOldie · 08/04/2014 18:43

After reading this thread decided to look at Plenty of Fish.

There are some real catches on there -

" No waste women pls no so-called up there selfs models who ain't got two pence to rub together but want the guy to have a mansion and Bentley, no matter what u think niggaz don't like walkin dolls..."

"ASK FOR WHATSAPP NEVER ON HERE I LOVE HIP-HOP I LOVE HIP-HOP I LOVE HIP-HOP I LOVE HIP-HOP I LOVE HIP-HOP I LOVE..." what?

"Want enough land to grow veggies and keep chickens, pool for my kids which i will have with you. and caravan to go on holidayswould need to get married in a year as no one is getting any younger...."

Honestly, I think it's a miracle if anyone meets anyone decent. Congrats to those who have.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 08/04/2014 19:44

Yes, SilverOldie I'm always amazed by people who find their future husbands/wives on POF. Just a brief overview of my "matches" page amazes me.
I am not being a knob and I am no stunner, but WHY do people take appalling pictures of themselves gurning at the camera, pissed out of their heads, etc?
I am just sulking because the only nice-looking man I've seen on there recently read my message, look at my profile and didn't respond. Sad

OP posts:
confuddledDOTcom · 08/04/2014 19:57

not sure if it's been mentioned but what is with all the tiger posing Confused

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 08/04/2014 20:00

WTF is tiger posing???

OP posts:
LizzieBelle · 08/04/2014 20:01

Instant turn off is text speak and no capital letters...and photos of blokes holding fish.

Oh, and half naked photos taken through a mirror!

aziraphale · 08/04/2014 20:32

I've been pootling around on pof with the gigantic sin of not having a photo, and it's amazing how quickly you develop your own quick lists.
Nos for me are:

Even sodding mentioning wake boarding or snowboarding (unless you want to tell me how crap you are at it, which is quite endearing.). Why do I want to go out with someone I can't recognise on the slopes, hurtling down dangerous bends in order to impress me? No thanks, I'll be in the bar with the people with uncovered faces.

Saying that anyone will need to understand that his kids come first. Of course your kids come first, so do mine. Suggesting otherwise sort of already paints the other sex with the feature of being self-obsessed and neglectful, so you've insulted me before we've even made contact.

I don't mind "lol". It's just an abbreviation. I do mind if you can't spell and you don't make sense. It's difficult to flirt with someone that requires Babelfish.

What does "some college" mean? Everyone seems to have it. Does it include speed awareness courses? Did no-one ever graduate?

I like the profiles where they describe themselves in an original way, like a used car or something. It shows creativity and humour. It's not as if they know their audience yet so they may as well come up with something amusing.

I think the best one I've seen was fairly normal until he started talking about the fact that he'd broken his leg and put in a sort of advert for a temporary carer position at the end of his ad. If only life were that easy, mate.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 08/04/2014 20:38

Does it include speed awareness courses?
Choked on my wine at that!

OP posts:
MozzchopsThirty · 08/04/2014 20:41

I joined POF on the weekend and it's like a whole new world!

I've had lots of messages, which is a real ego boost. Some losers, some scary, but I've swapped numbers with two really nice guys and we have dates set up.
Neither have been inappropriate or sent pics of their genitals which I understand happens a lot!!!!
They both messaged me and were quite fun and original which interested me.

I don't answer those who:
Don't have a pic
Send a message that just says 'hi'
Call me hun or babe
Make stupid comments about my job
Are at least 10 years older or 10 years younger
Those who make a big thing about their kids being their life
Men under 5'8

aziraphale · 08/04/2014 20:54

Confession: I joined POF because of this thread.

Oh and what's with all the angry looking blokes? "im outgoing and happy luv my kids" ok but you look like you want to kill me.....

Legologgo · 08/04/2014 20:55

Holding fish ? Tiger poses?

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 08/04/2014 21:03

"Holding fish" is all those pics of men holding their freshly caught carp and the like...I must admit, I don't mind these so much! Blush I'm looking for a rural guy and fishing tends to indicate a slight nod to rural activities!
God only knows about the tiger poses though.
And aziraphale I know what you mean about the angry ones. Going for the Christian Grey look?!

OP posts:
Simplesusan · 08/04/2014 21:10

Men who get all defensive and say things like don't message me if; then leave a very long list.
Why not just say what you are looking for.

Likewise I didn't respond to anyone who obviously hadn't read my profile of what I was looking for.

WordOfTheDay · 08/04/2014 21:28

Georgiestears
Irish people go out for meals. Irish people use this word in this context as a matter of course. Maybe it is used more by people in some regions than others.

confuddledDOTcom · 08/04/2014 21:39

JonSnowKnowsNothing / Lego - I'm seeing loads of pictures of men cuddling tigers lately. I'm wondering if it's something big in India as they seem to be mostly Asian men.

One of my friends messaged me yesterday and said "just read your new profile, has someone upset you?" Blush I don't think it's too bad. I asked not to have explicit chat launched at me, no clicking fingers (I did add work pays, you don't, to be fair the guys I get on with either don't care how long it takes or who I talk to or if they do mention it they tease) , no cam/ contact details and my previous comment about no children.

I have pictures of me in a corset, it was taken after I'd been to work one day so nothing extreme. It seems to bring out all the wannabe doms.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 08/04/2014 21:52

Oh I see what you mean about the tigers! Yes there are a fair few of those, aren't there? Actually, I know I'm being stupid, but extensive travel pictures tend to put me off a bit as I'm not so well travelled...

OP posts:
confuddledDOTcom · 08/04/2014 22:20

Yeah me too. I'm not in a position to either if it was on offer so I think they wouldn't be interested in me.

I've also decided that I am ignoring any guy who is too fit after I've had a drool I'm disabled and not ever going to look like that, I think it would be a mismatch. I went out Saturday night with a guy I met in the chatroom and we were talking about different people we know and the sorts of things mentioned on here. I said that I didn't think those sorts of guys would be interested in me and got a slap for it! (Friendly tap on the bum, trust me no one gets away with more - especially with my two deadly weapons Wink )

MrsIrony · 08/04/2014 22:29

I just got this message from a guy that lives near me. I just had to share it and find out if others think I'm being a bit harshMy thoughts? Knob!!!

"well I grew up in Ireland, in Co, Kerry, we have some of the best scenery in Ireland, brilliant beaches, lakes of Killarney, waterfalls and the friendliest people you can meet. I was the only boy in a girls convent school for 5 years, now that wouldn't happen today. I canoed the English Channel at the age of 16, and canoed 3 x 100 miles on three rivers the river Thames, Wye and Severn over 3 weekends, I was given a lift home by George Best and Miss world Mary Stavin on a couple of occasions, I went to a private party with a cabinet minister Peter Hain and his son Jake used to stay at my house. I love a good laugh and also a good Holiday, I used to go camping in the UK and to Europe. I have 4 children 4 grandchildren, i have met many famous people in my previous job and I was on first term names. some I wanted to meet and some I didn't. I went to school with to of the Sex Pistols and used to hang around with them when I was a teenager, I also used to buy my clothes in Malcolm McClarens shop in the Kings road. I never look down on anyone and I treat everyone the same. When I was home in Ireland i volunteer to help fund raise for the homeless and offer my time helping out in the homeless shelter, usually for 4 hours a day. But that is only in Ireland"

I stopped reading at that point. What on earth do you say to such a complete arse? Don't suppose he'd know if he was being given the heave ho if given it in words of one syllable. What an insufferable bore!

Yep that was an instant turn off.

LizzieBelle · 08/04/2014 22:39

MrsIrony He's not any old knob, he's a name dropping knob...

MrsIrony · 08/04/2014 22:50

I know I had to laugh. I replied saying what an interesting life. Mine is insignificant and I'm sure he wouldn't be interested little ole me. Thanks but no thanks. Went straight over his head and came back with more drivel.

What a plonker!!!