Daters/Online daters - what comments/behaviour instantly think "nope?"

[JonSnowKnowsNothing]

I'm mildly addicted to flicking through profiles on POF. Rarely meet anyone. Sometimes I end up chatting to people but mostly I barely even continue past a few messages. I know I'm intolerant but so many things annoy me:

• Self-proclaimed music snobs who send you links to "awesome" bands and have a 30 strong list of the most obscure bands possible on their profile. Hate being forced to listen to some else's music - it just guarantees I will dislike it.
• Men who try so hard to sound reasonable and "modern man" but slip up with gems such as "I don't mind you having your own career," or "looking for a passionate girl but not TOO opinionated, lol."
• Anyone who tells anyone to "jog on" (cringe) *People who message, then follow it up five minutes later with "You there?" "Not talking then?" or "Oh...ok then....bye."

What are your instant turn-offs?

Disclaimer - I'm very aware I'm not perfect and probably have many irritating aspects to my personality!

I paid to join Match but ended up with a player. So I may as well try POF - I know people who've had relationships and even got married/engaged/had babies through POF.

Another free one is Girls Date For Free (naff title I know).

I joined Tinder thanks to this thread. Amazes me how many people have the standard Facebook avatar (blue and white face) and nothing else, not even a description; or memes or photos of a celeb or all groups or kissing a woman.

Had someone match me on Tinder and launch into how he wants to gag me (VERY clean version) I've decided not to respond to him. I'm losing the plot with the amount of explicit conversation men try to start. I don't mind it to an extent but like a bit of talk too and would like it to be more than on screen. There's one guy I talk to and we talk normal stuff, can chat for ages, a few times I've said I'm just going to do something and he says "well whilst you do that..." and puts something a little rude, it's more effective than "hello can I gag you".

I would find all sexual chat with someone whom I have not met a turn off; how can you know you fancy me if we have not met?
Another no no is the word 'expect'

• latest I saw was 'I expect you to keep in shape'.

Now, you may not fancy anyone who is not in shape - you are free to fancy whomever you please - but there is NO WAY you can expect me to do anything at all at my age. One of the advantages of age is that I am free to be as I choose. I am looking for someone to have fun with - not an f*ing personal trainer!

Someone called Tony had just asked me to be his hot lover as he's married! I'm not sure how I've resisted with his photos of him sitting on a wall

confuddled - go a long with the smut then divert into househould stuff
" ooh yes, I am cleanign the grout as you roger me"( but better)

Lego - I love it! I love playing with them, especially the one who wants to marry me and get me pregnant so he can have sex with me when I'm pregnant. I'm starting to get bored of him so might have to see him off soon.

"...especially the one who wants to marry me and get me pregnant so he can have sex with me when I'm pregnant."

Stick a football or a pillow up your shirt and send him a photo saying you're already pregnant. See how he responds to that.

Actually on second thoughts don't do that, it'll only encourage him.

I actually have a really strongly worded statement on my profile that pregnancy is bad for me and the baby and getting worse so if children are a deal breaker not to waste their time.

He'd be disappointed if he got me pregnant, I was having contractions from around 8 weeks last time and on bedrest from 20. It's starting earlier each time I can't imagine how early I would deliver next time and I already have a CP child because of it. Not to mention my pelvis is getting more unstable each time so pregnancy sex is doubly off.

Of course I'm sure you can imagine his profile pic, stunning guy that I'm very eager to meet

"Of course I'm sure you can imagine his profile pic, stunning guy that I'm very eager to meet."

Oh absolutely, I bet he's a dish.

Totally. I know where he works so I'm tempted to hang around so I can see for myself (you know, from a distance...)

He asked me to meet him the other day and I asked about times (not that I was) and he said something a little too vague. I said I needed to know what to tell the babysitter he said (missing the point I wanted a time not an excuse) "tell them your mum is ill" so I said it IS my mum so he said "tell her the baby isn't well and you need to get back"???? The baby that Mum doesn't know I have that I have left home alone is sick so I need to get back... He said "i dont know but it is worth a try"

Looks, charm and intelligence.

So does Tinder only work through Facebook then? I like the idea but not sure about it accessing photos off there. For a kick off I don't usually put photos of me as my profile and certainly not 'dating site' appropriate ones!! More likely to be me pulling a stupid face than trying to look remotely attractive :-(

I connects to Facebook to access your likes, where you live, your about and your recent photos. Once it's done all it's access you get the edit profile page so you can add or delete photos and change your about - obviously as some have said not everyone does it! It doesn't post anything to Facebook either which I was worried about.

Cheers. Might be brave & give it a go...

At least you don't get randoms messaging you.

I accidentally liked someone on Tinder who had one picture and it was someone naked on their hands and knees with the handset of an old fashioned phone stuck up their bum. Can you unlike someone?

"Can you unlike someone?"

Nope, I doubt it ^confuddled*. They'll probably send you the number of their bum-phone now for you to ring it and arouse them.

lol noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I can't believe I managed to like it!

"Can't believe I liked you, I don't normally go for big women"

tinder comment does he mean 5'9"? Or 34H? (That's not listed btw!) I'm curvy but not really big unless you mean those.

I got a guy on Tinder asking for 'some fun' - I said no I'm looking for a boyfriend and he said 'but it could develop into more'... tempted because I've had no 'fun' for a looong time, but no.

They'll probably send you the number of their bum-phone now for you to ring it and arouse them

Roaring at that ^

Married dad from school popped up yesterday
I've swiped right so that if we match I can make him SQUIRM. He's the biggest twat ever

ehrick, me too!

Dolly, you have to feed back!

Just had a guy with four pictures of children on his profile and nothing of him, no profile info. Do guys really think we'll like them on age and distance only?

DSis found her STBXH on a dating site.

Awkward....

From a males perspective (why am I already trembling)....
I tried the online dating scene. PoF, MumsdateDads and some others.
I tried to be upfront and was honest about likes dislikes interests etc. Looks unimportant (I'm not much) etc etc. What bemused me was the fact that some women had been on PoF for so long and were expecting a knight in shining armour and had high hopes etc (fair enough) but when messaged were so bloody rude. One had been on PoF in Feb last year and was still on there in November. Her profile hadnt changed one iota. I wonder if she scared men off.....Another came across a something akin to Fatal Attraction. Eventually I was lucky to meet one who was herself. We dated for a few months but sadly it went nowhere. Ladies avoid PoF. Unless youre after casual. Some men on there are either married or just after a notch in their bedpost. If a bloke doesnt have an image of himself or is evasive then somethings not right. Some are no doubt genuine bit err on the side of caution.
Then I went the payforit way. MumsdateDads. Initially I was sceptical but what the heck. Had a few dates. Enjoyed it but not for me although there were some lovely ladies on there two of whom have become friends in fhe platonic sense.
I aas ready to invest in some mags and beer and started flirting with someone on Twatter. I had been kind of involved with a couple of others from there but nothing ohysical. But fast forward four months and I now going out with this lady from Twatter. I am happy. Very happy. We are both in love and she has made me smile from ear to ear ( I am as I write this).
Hopefully if any of you do go online you will be lucky but dont rule out the old blind date or chatup in pub or club