Daters/Online daters - what comments/behaviour instantly think "nope?"

[JonSnowKnowsNothing]

I'm mildly addicted to flicking through profiles on POF. Rarely meet anyone. Sometimes I end up chatting to people but mostly I barely even continue past a few messages. I know I'm intolerant but so many things annoy me:

• Self-proclaimed music snobs who send you links to "awesome" bands and have a 30 strong list of the most obscure bands possible on their profile. Hate being forced to listen to some else's music - it just guarantees I will dislike it.
• Men who try so hard to sound reasonable and "modern man" but slip up with gems such as "I don't mind you having your own career," or "looking for a passionate girl but not TOO opinionated, lol."
• Anyone who tells anyone to "jog on" (cringe) *People who message, then follow it up five minutes later with "You there?" "Not talking then?" or "Oh...ok then....bye."

What are your instant turn-offs?

Disclaimer - I'm very aware I'm not perfect and probably have many irritating aspects to my personality!

Generally that's what I do do. (Do do?) Do.

At that time, we were in different countries, and I was planning my move here. I certainly agree about meeting up quickly, because you can get into all sorts of problems otherwise. I've been led on more times than a show pony.

This is making me laugh - I need to mark my place and come back later and read these properly because have to dash out now...

1. I must remove pic of me in sunglasses! Although it is a really nice pic??!!

2. Why do so many guys put a pic either
   a) holding a large fish
   b) by a sports car
   c) holding the Olympic torch

3. I had a second message asking me if I had been to/was in the habit of frequenting swinging clubs (and he didn't mean the park with slides too!!)

4. they're, their, there and all sorts of variations really is a bugbear of mine, although I try not to judge, my bff also gets them wrong!

xx

I well remember a terrific response I got (this was way back so it was based on phone messages) by a guy speaking in a soft, urgent voice and explaining that he was able to 'sustain lovemaking' for over 60 minutes. As a first phone message.

He was probably doing it right then, with his other hand.

The thing with sunglasses is - you can't see someone's eyes, obviously. How can you meet someone whose eyes you haven't seen?

'If you wanna know more just ask' uh no thanks
'Like a good banter' well I don't, I am a po faced feminist social worker. I doubt I'm your bag.
Drunk pics
Bathroom selfies
Topless selfies
Lying in a bed looking soulful selfies
Holding up a pint of beer pics

Oh, I had one sending messages saying that it would be nice to chat, and get to know each other. That was it.
He wouldn't ask questions or talk about anything even though I encouraged him to start.
No thanks, I'm done doing all the work keeping conversations going.

Lois

Lois

Anyone who just says "Hey!" as their opening gambit. Or worse, "Hey babe!"

Come on! Give me something to go on here! Even "Hello and how are you this sunny day?" would be OK - at least I can answer back with more than "hey!" back

And YY to meeting quickly. Like Lois, I have been that show pony too!

The "best" opener I got was from a man in a gimp mask who opened with

"I want to drink your piss"

I wasn't sure if agreeing or declining would turn him on more!

Sleeves rolled up to their armpits to show off the arm muscles.

I saw one on POF who had as his headline that he was fed up of being messaged by fat women and no fat women need apply.

Fucking charmer

And one who stipulated that I MUST own more than one bra. Weirdo.

I've not had the pleasure myself but have enjoyed reading so far.

I absolutely despise the word "banter". Honestly, it's use is a deal breaker. I've given DH a second chance as I'm pretty fond of him but if he slips up again, he's out!

I reported one on POF yesterday because his 'profile' consisted of nothing more than a list of all the terrible types of women on there. Just really having a go. Obviously, I'm meeting him ASAP...

Singngbird I have just read that profile, aghast!

He writes darkly? He'll ruin his eyes doing that!

Why are so many men odd on online dating, when you don't come across men who say this type of stuff in real life?

"You're really independent, aren't you?" Err, what type of women are used to? The unemployed?

"You know your own mind" Ditto

"I'm up for a laugh, we can chat and get a bit of banter going" Maybe you should try your mates down the pub?

"I bet you're desperate to find someone and get off here"

I did online dating for 8 months then stopped and got together with my new boyfriend, someone I've known for years.

Oh, and the last one before I cancelled my profile, when I told him my job, then asked minute details about it. Where I worked, what exact field I was in, how long I had been there. I replied "Why do you want to know that?" and he messaged back that he wanted me to prove what I did and that I wasn't making it up.

It isn't a particularly glamorous or unusual job either! I blocked him.

I had similar with a policeman Melonade, asking questions about my job, I'd already told him that they don't like us outing ourselves but it felt very interrogation like.

"How can you meet someone whose eyes you haven't seen?"

This is true, they might have eyes like the Cookie Monster.

There is only one word more annoying than "banter" and that is its diminutive, "bants", as in: "S'only bants, can't you take a joke?"

I ought to point out that my photo with sunglasses is only one of my pics, and I have 4 others where you can see my eyes!

I was starting to think that maybe I've just been unlucky with the guys who have been messaging me but obviously this is the norm!! I think I'm going to stick with Tinder, as someone said further up, it seems simpler!

I'd say the majority of the messages I have received have either been

a) American, or
b) Uninspired and unispiring, or
c) Young men looking for a hole, or
d) Just weird

I remember receiving one message asking if I liked to be punched in the face while fucked. That was a gem!

Another vote for the dead fish.