Daters/Online daters - what comments/behaviour instantly think "nope?"

[JonSnowKnowsNothing]

I'm mildly addicted to flicking through profiles on POF. Rarely meet anyone. Sometimes I end up chatting to people but mostly I barely even continue past a few messages. I know I'm intolerant but so many things annoy me:

• Self-proclaimed music snobs who send you links to "awesome" bands and have a 30 strong list of the most obscure bands possible on their profile. Hate being forced to listen to some else's music - it just guarantees I will dislike it.
  
• Men who try so hard to sound reasonable and "modern man" but slip up with gems such as "I don't mind you having your own career," or "looking for a passionate girl but not TOO opinionated, lol."
  
• Anyone who tells anyone to "jog on" (cringe)
  *People who message, then follow it up five minutes later with "You there?" "Not talking then?" or "Oh...ok then....bye."
  
  What are your instant turn-offs?
  
  Disclaimer - I'm very aware I'm not perfect and probably have many irritating aspects to my personality!

[rosenylund]

Oh and not knowing the difference between your and you're. I'm such a snob.

[Perfectlypurple]

Perhaps I should have taken him up on it mamapingu!

Just remembered, another guy, we had sent a few messages and exchanged mobile numbers. He sent lots of texts asking random questions about weird stuff like who is mu service provider, which gas company I was with etc. 1am the next morning I get a text saying he needs someone to talk to with a long woe is me type message. It was really weird.

[fortyplus]

Men who live more than an hour away so you politely decline further contact and they respond with 'I would move for the right person' you're creeping me out we've only exchanged 2 emails

[rosenylund]

fortyplus - yes! Please no, calm down. I can't be arsed driving for more than 30 mins.

[Walkacrossthesand]

On messaging someone who looked quite nice, I found this in my inbox: 'I'm also best as caring, kind, helpful, self sufficient, humble, sensitive, very communicative and a great sense of humor. Now that being said I must admit that healthy eating and fitness are an important part of my life along with the enjoyment of the outdoors. This includes boating, being in the sun, cycling, gardening or exploring the countryside on a horse ride. Full of energy, am truly young at heart and always living life to its fullest. Also know when to be playful or simply relaxed when need be. I do know my way around a kitchen and really enjoy cooking and hosting social functions for friends and family.

I do enjoy sports, but not a fanatic. If I miss a key game I’m just as happy to catch the highlights or read about it the next day. My life is in order, no drama, financially stable with many of my goals having been met; it's now time to enjoy life to the fullest with that special someone. I enjoy listening to all types of music (not rap), prefer classic rock, new country and a good blues guitar. I am self employed and my schedule is very flexible and I do take advantage of getting away as often as I can. I enjoy golf, tennis, travel, horse riding, good wine, going off to and exploring new places. I'm also very handy and have been through several remodeling projects over the years. I still have all of my hair, my teeth (still waiting for the first cavity) and am blessed with good health. I am looking to connect with someone who is active, fit, fun, intelligent, honest, and has a great sense of humor that also loves to cuddle and is also young at heart.

Would like to meet someone who enjoys being active, outdoors...that could include boating, sunshine, a day at the beach, or a simple day at home with a passion for being happy no matter where they are. This person should also be comfortable in where they're at and know what they are looking for in life and spending quality time with their partner. have dinner in a cool and quite place... I would hope that you have a strong circle of good friends, a compassion for your family and life as well as a strong desire NOT to be complacent. You are affectionate, sensual, passionate, attentive, loyal, enjoy kissing and the same in return. You are not desperate, nor a serial dater, but rather desire to be in a monogamous exclusive loving relationship. So if this seems to fit who you are and you love to laugh..'

This was early in my foray into OLD, so I gave it another go with a 'gosh you like doing a lot of things - but, let's say, what kind of day did you have at work today?!' type reply - and got another page of drivel about riding bareback across the sand.

I am glad I saved that paragraph - it's my benchmark for 'up-own-backside' ness and now I can share it!

[MistressDeeCee]

Walkacrossthesand

I was worn out just reading that. What is he, a robot?!

[Sparklysilversequins]

Someone who is registered as say "Sam" but once you've been chatting says actually "my name's Richard but I have changed it on here because I have an ex who looks for me on these sites."

No, you're married.

[bubblebabeuk]

Got to be penis pictures, always a bad indication.....

[Minime85]

rose I'm with you on the spelling thing the to, too as well. I can't stop myself!

telling you you look good and look like you take care of yourself vomit!

being way way out of the age bracket you put up but repeatedly 'winking' at you anyway! urgh.

[GhettoPrincess]

Walkacrossthesand

Blimey what a load of drivel the guy came out with ! Talk about tl;dr (to long didn't read) even though I read it.

Just what planet are these guys on ? I've had this sort of garbage from singles ads back in the day.

Good luck with your continuing adventures.

[MadeMan]

References to "liking a glass of red", anything to do with finding themselves/spiritual awakenings. Travelling up mountains or similar adventure type holiday places.

[LoisPuddingLane]

All of the above. And men pictured with cats. It's almost like using bait. They probably don't even own a cat, they've just borrowed one for the photo.

[LoisPuddingLane]

Also, be aware that if someone says they are looking for a relationship, it may not be with you. That sounds harsh, and indeed it is. I met a bloke who told me on our first date he was looking for a wife. We seemed to be getting on great and slept together on the third date. At which point it became clear he considered me just a sidebar to his search for a wife. I was just something casual, for the time being.

[whatsthatcomingoverthehill]

From my old forays:

Women who are "in it for the banter". I don't even know what that means.

An obsession with 'travelling'. You like going on holiday, well who doesn't?

Expecting the guy to do all the running conversation wise.

Lots of text speak from women too.

[Singingbird]

I haven't done OD for ages, but I kept this particular profile from a while back because it makes me laugh so much... I wonder if he's met anyone yet?

"I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
It is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.

If your life is anything less but amazing by yourself, save us both while you still can. Proper English and old school values are mandatory.
I am a little bit of a traveller, musician, sailor, gentleman, lover, peaceful warrior poet, and CTO rolled up in one. Throw in a good helping of mischief, and blend well in a hot tub.

I am handsome, intelligent, well educated, successful and lots of fun being around. Very comfortable in my own skin, but not in love with myself
I love deeply, passionate but rarely. I bore easily and I write darkly.
I do what I want, where I want, young enough to do it old enough to do it right.

I have the best friends in the world, thrown parties from Sydney, Cape Town to SF and spent time with people from all corners of this planet to learn from their different life perspectives.

Goods looks are common and evanescent but real beauty is rare.

If you can imagine yourself driving down a Ducati down to the beach, sailing white ships on the ocean, backpacking the world with minor stops at five star venues .. still enjoy talk about poetry and philosophy or play classical music, I offer you the adventure of your lifetime. Looking for a soulmate nothing less...
Explorer by heart, riding fast motorbikes, martial arts, playing classical music, blues and jazz.. The Ocean is my passion, I surf & sail ,have long walks on lonely beaches and hike rain-forests or dive tropical waters.

Everyone who starts a communication with me without writing a proper sentence gets blocked instantly (same for winks).BTW I have to add this DO NOT tell me that my life is amazing I know it,I am looking for someone to rock my world not to admire it."

[confuddledDOTcom]

Guys who are 20-30 years (and plus!) older than you.

Guys who include the word sexy in every line "Hi sexy" "how are you sexy?" "what are you doing today sexy?"

Personal peeve is goth comments. I'm naturally very pale with dark hair so of course I must be a goth.

I had someone propose to me and tell me he wanted to get me pregnant. Turned out he has a thing about sex with a pregnant woman. I tried to turn him down nicely and told him there is no way I can have another baby because it's bad on my health but it came up again (I find him amusing when I'm bored).

Guys who want to know, pretty early on, when they can fuck you (usually phrased like that).

Guys from the other side of the country who aren't willing to travel and think you can just get a babysitter at the drop of a hat (for four children, two with disabilities).

I had a guy tell me how he likes older women (I'm 33, he was 27) and wouldn't have it that 33 is not that old and 6 years isn't a big age gap. You would think I was about 15 years older.

Asking what you think of them minutes into a conversation when they have no picture.

I was having a really good chat with someone, we talked about having to work something out, but they were logging off so we didn't manage to. I sent a mail as I hadn't seen him online for a few days, I said he knew where I was if he wanted to chat and he sent something stroppy back about wanting more than chat. I told him to read the log and haven't even read his reply because it annoyed me.

[sebsmummy1]

Singingbird I don't even know how you would even answer a profile like that!! Assuming the guy is real you would never be able to formulate a message to satisfy his criteria unless you existed in a novel or film.

Plus it does beg the question that if he lives such an amazing lifestyle and has friends from every continent in the world, why is he scrapping around on some internet dating site where his likely target audience is a trucker called Dave.

[confuddledDOTcom]

Oh and I forgot comments about what my kids will think of you...

[confuddledDOTcom]

I'm getting a multiple choice quiz on what I wear when I go out. It's quite funny so I'm playing along.

Oh reminds me, have to reply quick!

[SisterEmily]

1. Terrible spelling and grammar: "well about me well im a 40 year old lad looking for a nice girl not botherred about looks or kids or whatever realy open minded just want somebody to have a laff with and maybe more if you have question just let me no"
   
   
2. Cockyness: "I like to think of myself as fit and pretty good looking, naturally I expect the same in a potential partner. I like to socialise, not looking for a bunny boiler."
   
   
3. Desperado: "I am a 40 year old male looking for my next wife lol, I am loyal and considerate and will treat any lady like a princess, looking for someone to snuggle and spoil rotten." (knob - buy a puppy. )

[LoisPuddingLane]

For me, it's much harder when you have been chatting to someone a long time and when it suddenly becomes obvious that this person is just not for you. How do you exit politely?

A young man contacted me - a virgin - and we chatted for ages, messaging back and forth. He seemed really lovely, and I would have been happy to relieve him of the cumbersome virginity. But it gradully dawned on my how dull he was. Excruciatingly dull. And - I feel dreadfully shallow for admitting this - very unattractive.

I wiggled out of meeting him somehow. I'm not proud of that.

[KellyElly]

Anyone who earns under 100K...I'm joking . Tried online dating once and chatted to two types of men, slightly odd and looking for a hook up/sexually deviant, this was not always apparent from their profile. However, men with a long list of what they don't want, those who won't consider dating a woman with a child and those who are looking for someone 15 years younger put me off straight away. When chatting, anyone who mentioned sex too early.

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow]

Those men on POF who chat using a mobile phone instead of a laptop, they're married right? Otherwise, why won't they talk to you on their laptops?

[KellyElly]

Those men on POF who chat using a mobile phone instead of a laptop, they're married right? Otherwise, why won't they talk to you on their laptops? I was on Match and chatted on my mobile because I didn't have home internet. Def not married

[DioneTheDiabolist]

Lois, I think the key is not to have a lengthy online relationship at all. Keep messages short and and meet up as soon as you think there may be an attraction.