Talk me down. DH away with colleagues. I have his iPad. FB messages.

[RolyPolyLittleBatFacedGirl]

Dh away on conference with colleagues. He's left his ipad here and FB messages show in the locked screen. Loads of messages from female colleague. I looked. Messages earlier like we're all drinking wine in so and so's room, come and join us.... fine.

But the latest exchange was of her taking the piss about something. Him saying 'love you', then 'not tired yet' and 'can I come down. Talk', she says 'Yeah for 15 min

That was nearly an hour ago. Green eyed me sent him a message to ask wtf was going on 45 mins ago and he's not seen it.

"Can I come down. Talk."
"Yeah, for 15 mins."

I don't think he was after a cigarette OP.

Only you know your DH, but the excuses he's given you sound like a load of bullshit tbh.

Oh dear. Sorry, I think he's lied to you.

Why couldn't he just buy some cigarettes from the bar? Do ecigs even have nicotine in them?

This all sounds a bit odd. Plus, it's generally not a good idea to be "persuading" colleagues to let you into their rooms on work dos

I'm an employment lawyer and I've lost count of the number of disciplinary/grievance processes I've advised on as a result of this type of thing.

Hope you're ok. The advice I gave was based on what my DSis did when she was in a similar situation with her DP.

They have worked through it. Good luck with however this pans out.

If you trusted this man you wouldn't have been checking up on him in the first place. Whatever he says and whatever it is you want to believe, do have some faith in your 'inner voice'... and don't ignore it.

Sorry OP, I know you want talking down but I don't believe him. That message does not read like someone wanting a fag. He is either asking to have a heavy talk because a line had been crossed or he's trying to wheedle into her room with a promise of no funny business which you only make if funny business is expected. Everyone who's ever asked to come in "just to talk" has wanted more IME.

I hope I'm wrong but I've seen too much infidelity to ignore how easy it is.

I would be wanting to know why my DH was saying "Love you" to a work colleague!

IMHO he is lying through his teeth now to get out of it. No way did nothing happen.

Tia comes up a lot on mn when people are "working away" what jobs do these people have that allows them to be on the piss and room hopping like teenagers at night?
I wouldn't like this at all.

We say love you and stuff, I would believe him, perhaps I'm a mug.

Sorry OP but that's bollocks. If you want a cigarette you ask for one. He was being a creep.

The deleting says it all.

"what jobs do these people have that allows them to be on the piss and room hopping like teenagers at night?"

All kinds of jobs. Public sector, private sector, small companies, big corporations. Any kind of location-based contract work that takes individuals or teams of people off-site, sales/technical jobs that involve a lot of travelling to see customers, roles that involve periodic conferences, off-site meetings and residential courses... and don't forget the occasional 'congratulations on a job well done weekend away' for staff that some places go in for.

Saying 'love you' to a colleague who finishes a report for you in an open office in a jovial tone or sending a Facebook message saying 'love you' and asking to talk? Not the same to me.

I think he is lieing but I can understand why op is leading to believe him, what other choice does she have? she has NO PROOF that he has cheated so she is not going to go in a rage when she has no ideal what really happened. He had time to come up with his fake story.

What would I have done? tried to keep quiet and keep reading any further fb messages to get the real truth but he knows now and so will be very careful.

Also every woman thinks their man won't cheat but look at how many that do.

If he wanted a cig why didn't the messages say that? I think he's lying.

I'm afraid I don't believe him either.

He wanted a shag and thought saying love you would get him one. She doesn't. He went down to her room in the hope of getting something but it wasn't a fag!

OP - he is undoubtedly lieing.

Those are not the messages of a man wanting a cigarette.

E cig or no e cig he was trying to get into a female colleagues room at midnight. Sorry, it is massively disrespectful and just because nothing happened dies not mean he wasn't after something.

You mention feeling green eyed. I'd feel fucking fuming. Less green eyed, more red mist.

I hope you managed some sleep op.

Sleazy.

I wouldn't believe him for a second. Does he usually wriggle out of these situations so easily with you?

The instant deleting of conversation =panic and guilt

I think he was using cockney rhyming slang when he said he was after a fag...