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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Occasionally bothered by husbands numerous sexual partners

236 replies

pigletandme · 15/08/2006 21:15

Dh and i have been together about 6 years and soon after we were together he admitted to me that when he was alot younger (18/19) he slept with about 15 (he can't remember exactly) girls when he was at college - all his friends did the same and it was all "meaningless" He was mid 30's when we met and since the age of 19 only had 3 girlfriends and no other casual flings. He regrettted his behaviour at college and got checked for std's soon after he left as he was worried incase he could have passed on anything to a future girlfriend although he said he always used protection. Sometimes what he did bothers me (although i have certain things in the past which i would never do again)but i try to tell myself it was all such a long time ago and his "relationship history" since the age of 19 has been quite tame. I suppose i should put it out of my mind once and for all?

OP posts:
kimi · 17/08/2006 12:13

I met DH when we were both very young and we were only ever with each other,
New DP had never had a relationship eithr so there is no past for me to deal with, but i know would have found it hard to deal with if there was.

PanicPants · 17/08/2006 12:14

It's the tweed that does it, very harrison ford in one of the indiana jones movies.

HappyDaddy · 17/08/2006 12:14

You hussies had no consciences at all, did you?

Why didn't I meet girls like you, years ago?

expatinscotland · 17/08/2006 12:15

'I shouldn't be doing this' is such a crock!

Really means, 'I'm a slut who wants to do all of this so, so badly, but I'm too much of a chicken to admit it to myself.'

HappyDaddy · 17/08/2006 12:17

It means "I wish i was single so i won't feel guilty".

expatinscotland · 17/08/2006 12:18

Like I said, 'There's a little 'ho living in all of us.'

PanicPants · 17/08/2006 12:18

So true Beetroot, the one and only time I went down that path (years ago, when I was young and stupid) we used to meet up when he was fishing overnight in his tent, and as well as the 'I shouldn't be doing this' scenario, I also had the the bloody fishing alarms going off, mid bonk, when he would jump up (regardless of what we were doing) to look at whatever fish he'd just caught.

Beetroot · 17/08/2006 12:20

omg... fish alarms

yes young and stupid...and exciting at the time

expatinscotland · 17/08/2006 12:20

LOL, PP!

I had a man once who'd look at his pager when it went off, no matter what we were doing.

So I threw it out a window.

PanicPants · 17/08/2006 12:22

Yes it was exciting at the time, but tbh I do feel ashamed admitting that.

expatinscotland · 17/08/2006 12:23

I made a similar mistake in my youth w/said philosophy professor.

Only he owned a boat.

PanicPants · 17/08/2006 12:25

at boat

expatinscotland · 17/08/2006 12:27

Got free sailing lessons out of him, too.

He showed me the ropes.

And then some.

HappyDaddy · 17/08/2006 12:30

Did he shout "Land Ahoy" when he climaxed? LOL

expatinscotland · 17/08/2006 12:31

No, he was more the muffled groan type.

HappyDaddy · 17/08/2006 12:35

An introspective man?

intergalacticwalrus · 17/08/2006 12:39

ROFL at fishing alarms.

Dear me, I have had some terrible experiences. Alcohol has a lot to answer for, although cannot be entirely blamed for some of my "happenings"

Worse one was music lecturer from college who used to speak French during sex. I think he thought I'd think he was really sophisticated, but I don;t actually think he knew what it all meant. He was probably calling my mother a whore and saying that my breath smelt like his arse or something. He was a proper ponce. I see him occasionally around town now, and I have to hide, as I feel so ashamed.

As for the OP, I had a very colourful few years before meeting DP, and got up to allsorts. I suspect DP didi the smae, but what maytters now is that is all in the past, and that we are togther and we have children together etc. Who gives a toss whether he has slept with loads of woman? IMO, if he's experienced, he must have picked up some good tips which you can now benefit from !

PanicPants · 17/08/2006 12:47

at sailing lessons. Still I can tell you lots about carp if your interested.

expatinscotland · 17/08/2006 12:51

I really learned to love the water b/c of him, so in that sense I don't regret it.

He taught me from absolutely no knowledge of a boat or sailing how to do set sail completely on my own, which I did sometimes whilst he slept.

He was a lover of mine for a little over a year so there was plenty of time for me to learn.

That was what clung to me long after the affair ended - being alone on the water.

HappyDaddy · 17/08/2006 12:53

So you went from Harlot to Pirate? Cool.

expatinscotland · 17/08/2006 12:54

No, I stayed harlot.

expatinscotland · 17/08/2006 12:54

You're just jealous .

HappyDaddy · 17/08/2006 13:01

Yeah, so?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 17/08/2006 13:21

Am pmsl at your stories expat

I too have had the "I shouldnt be doing this" line.

Had a lovely snigger to meself remembering that.....thanks

Can I just say though, that I am definitely NOT a slapper.......

Angsthase · 17/08/2006 13:29

This thread has made me PMSL.

Note to those about to ask DH / DW how many - make sure you ask them before admitting yourself. I asked my DH as was sure he'd be in the 20's. He wasn't even in double figures. When he said how about you - I said, let's drop it

There are times you just shouldn't go there....