Trip to Ibiza with the lads ffs

[Bolloctothat72]

Yes I know, let him go don't be controlling, nothing wrong with it trust him blah blah blah. My bf is 45 trying to arrange a lads holiday while the World Cup is on, clubbing drinking whatever. I didn't particularly like this when I was in my 20s but I shut up and put up for the sake of the relationship. I now I'm divorced met someone else only a year but there's always texts amongst these lads about various trips, pre stag dos here, actual stag dos there. Now flipin Ibiza I can't cope with it. I want a man , not a lad reliving his youth that won't commit. I'm fine with lads nights out weekends away even with the lads, well don't particularly like them but I'll put up with it if it makes him happy, but what about my feelings. Am I allowed to not like it none of my friends husbands/partners do this why bloody me

The thing is rainbow, Margot's view on life has, by it's very shiny shit nature, no judgement at all on anyone else's life. Therefore it is by definition, non-sneery

Yours, in contrast, with its random rules about who is allowed to do what at which age is, by its very nature totally judgetastic

I would suggest that taking not a blind bit of notice of what age anyone doing anything is and getting on with your own shit is a much happier place to be.

Rainbow - I love house/dance music but don't drink or do drugs so that is 4 ppl you know. I have loved house/dance music since I was 11 (now in my 30s) when I first heard 9pm til I come and I have never looked back. I will forever love house/ dance music and will listen to it till the day I die.

Well take an e and listen to your best tracks and it will blow your mind little miss:)

Well he's going to some sporting event in May, in this country an over night thing and I'm fine with that, I will see my friends so it must be the Ibiza Leary lad thing I don't like, I wouldn't mind if it was with me though. But I just couldn't keep up anymore with the clubbing and drinking, one night would be enough for me.

We've had a long talk about it all, he understands how I feel, but I also understand he needs time with the lads so we have come to a compromise about it all, we're also going away us and the kids in August so I can't complain and that was all I wanted a compromise, for him to understand how it makes me feel and for him to know I don't begrudge him time with the lads it's just the type of holiday I maybe don't feel happy with. Fingers crossed we can move on only time will tell.

Rainbow STILL banging on about us taking drugs, specifically e's, wouldn't even know where to get them, any ideas?

And, still banging on about Prince and 1999, you stuck in a time warp R?

OP, happy you've reached an agreement that pleases you both.

Jan you wanna get yourself to ibeefaa....Although I'd steer clear of af, she'd stick out as an undercover cop. And think about the Party like its 1999 - it's a good line.

And OP that all sounds very reasonable. It's the leary ladz thing which puts me off too.

Watch out rainbow or you will be nicked

It's a good line, once or twice yeah and I hate the tune.

Can we all be friends and draw a line, by that I mean a pencil line, not the hokey cokey line?

I bet AF would be one of the cage dancers, a secret life nobody knows about.

Hahaha yeah but only cos she's so deep undercover the line has been blurred. The guardian are no doubt preparing an expose.

And the good thing is I will not be at the clubs or parties to see the old people dancing and e'd oot their nuts so it all works out fine:)

Who knows, Jan

NOBODY HATES PRINCE.

I'm baffled how my Live and Let Live attitude could be deemed to be judgemental: it's the complete opposite . Why be bothered about something that doesn't affect you in the slightest? Are these people doing you any harm?

Anyway, no need to answer - I can see we're going round in circles.

Thanks BitOutOfPractice

Maybe I'm elderly, boring and judgemental - but if my husband decided he needed a lads' holiday in Ibiza I wouldn't be too impressed.

Pleasure Margot. (and fwiw I agree with your user name )

Bit and Jerry loved Barbara.

Glad you got sorted OP.

He did. But sadly Tom and Barbara loved each other. Because a wife swapping episode would have been MARVELLOUS!

They got very close in one if I remember rightly .

Did they? I think that is a product of your fevered imagination bow to your superior knowledge

Doesnt sound as if you & your man are compatible, OP. You want different lifestyles. That doesn't make either of you 'wrong'.

The only thing that makes me is 45 year old lads(!!) on a clubbing holiday in Ibiza..umm...what? On average theyll be 1/4 of a century or at the very least, 2 decades older than clubs clientele..

You've mentioned several 'do's' during the year you've been together where he's away with the lads, so it doesn't seem likely he's quite ready for close coupledom at the moment. Best to cut your losses and aim to leave the relationship if he's not right for you.

Imagine wanting to do something but not doing it in case people thought you were sad or pathetic.

I can't think of anything more pathetic than that.

I think it is fairly common for men to say something to their mates and a different thing to their wife/GF but it is pretty immature and spineless and shows that they have pretty rubbish friends TBH. If a friend can't hear the real reason for something then WTF kind of friend is that? You should be able to be yourself.

BitOutOfPractice - honestly! It's the one where they neck Tom and Barbara's home made wine and there's all sorts of frissons going on .

Sorry OP.

Actually I think I remember that now Margot!

Oh goodnesd. Been reading this. It is perfectly possible to love dance music without taki g drugs. Me! Im taking dd to I biza this summer as it is extremely beautiful and also family friendly. She is 5 so we wont be clubbing ! As for the lads holidays etc I would be pissed off if they were as frequent as op suggests.