Trip to Ibiza with the lads ffs

[Bolloctothat72]

Yes I know, let him go don't be controlling, nothing wrong with it trust him blah blah blah. My bf is 45 trying to arrange a lads holiday while the World Cup is on, clubbing drinking whatever. I didn't particularly like this when I was in my 20s but I shut up and put up for the sake of the relationship. I now I'm divorced met someone else only a year but there's always texts amongst these lads about various trips, pre stag dos here, actual stag dos there. Now flipin Ibiza I can't cope with it. I want a man , not a lad reliving his youth that won't commit. I'm fine with lads nights out weekends away even with the lads, well don't particularly like them but I'll put up with it if it makes him happy, but what about my feelings. Am I allowed to not like it none of my friends husbands/partners do this why bloody me

Fair enough trevor . For what it's worth, DH and I do have nights away from each other now and again for various reasons. We've both been away on stag/hen weekends before, no problem. I don't mind a couple of nights night on the trot and neither does he. It's just the idea of a whole week of getting pissed that DH doesn't fancy, and neither would I - would have been fun when I was twenty but I/we don't have the energy or inclination now....

Men in their 40's going clubbing and drinking in Ibiza for the World Cup ? Why don't they, yunno, go to the actual matches or at least the country they are being held in and watch on big screens ?

Why Ibiza ? I rest my case on my assessment of "leering nobheads"

Who knows AF! Who cares! They want to go somewhere sunny for a laugh and a few drinks and to watch a game. Fair play to them... OP's DP can go or not go, sounds like he's not and is going away with OP in stead. Great!

Calling people who choose to go to Ibiza (there's actually a much, much more chilled part south of the island where most people go when they realise they are 18 any more after a couple of big nights) leering nobheads is just bizarre. It's a bit like someone coming to England for one night, going to Blackpool and then going home saying all we do in England is ride of the Big Dipper and eat Fish & Chips...
I don't think 'Kevin & Perry Go Large' did Ibiza's rep any good

Laregina that's the same as me and DP! The odd weekend away but I think we're too tight to go for more than a weekend rather than the energy - I personally would love a whole week away with the girls. But yes, your approach is a lot more healthy than my sister-in-law and brother-in-law (they're a thread all to themselves!)

trev, I have visited Ibiza myself on probably about 8 occasions

you are rather naive if you think a group of men will be heading for the "chilled out" areas of the island to watch the world cup whilst getting rat arsed

Hahaha! I've been too. A big group went, attempted to go for it for three nights... and then sloped off to sunbathe and scoff tapas for the rest of the time. And there were groups of men doing the same a similar age to OP's boyfriend (40's).

Each to their own. I'd rather assume they'll run out of steam and chill out for a few days than assume they're all 'leering' based on where they choose to go away!

Ibiza is great for inclusion, i.e., young and old, (and yes all dancing together), doesn't make them leering nobheads at all, in fact most folk going there are pretty easy going nice folk, well the ones I've met are, you sure you've been AF???

8 times apparently.
Was that you doing that cage-dance with the glow stick?

I've been three times and thoroughly jealous that the OP's bloke got invited for a week.

Are you two calling me a liar ?

I just wish I could be ok with it, I feel mean now, but it's just there. I blame my ex husband gotta blame someone I suppose !

Just being nosy OP but what went on with your XH? x

He basically ended up never being at home, ALWAYS out/away with the lads, literally never saw him and I hated it, I don't know if he was unfaithful I never found out if he was, but I just got fed up of not having a husband at home, he even went to Barcelona when I was 9 months pregnant and had another child who was 2 ! You might think that is acceptable trev as you think you should be allowed to go whenever you like but in the end it cost him his wife and kids, I did try to compromise and talk to him, he never listened, I fell out of love with him. That started with just the odd trip and just became more and more then hobbies and nights out. He's still single now as he just likes doing his own thing. I just hope I haven't done full circle with this one !

Blimey - sounds like you're well rid.

Yeah when I said people should be able to go away 'whenever they want' I should have added a disclaimer that obviously people don't abandon their nine month pregnant wife! What a toss pot!

Can totally understand your hesitation after what's happened in the past. Hopefully this one isn't a pig and the occasional jaunt is just that, occasional :-)

Yay great text. See that is always the best option, truth honesty and cards on the table.

I am glad he chose you over a boys holiday. I just think the whole ladz holiday is sad. I have no issue with dh going off on a walking holiday or running thing say or well whatever hobby type activity. it's the ladz holiday centred on bevvie and night life which I just find pathetic. But then so does dh Thank god.

I think exactly the same about the women doing it too. It's hard for me to see what the point is.

And dh and I were party people. We kicked the arse out of it and then moved on. There is definitely a shelf life for that lifestyle and it doesn't mix well with family and commitment.

But it's not up to me to tell dh its up to him I'm no his mother.

Get a new boyfriend then. I would in your case. Agree that at our age we don't want a boy.

This isn't a case of controlling what a person does. It's a case of different taste. Your ideas of fun don't sound compatible.

Rainbow: where Ibiza is concerned it's very much about the music and pretty much in keeping with dance music from the Hacienda days (the 90s) in the UK, you really have to be into this music to actually enjoy it (if it's that part of Ibiza you go to). It's not always about bevvy.

There's a quiet side to Ibiza also if you just want a relaxing time.

I'm late 40s btw.

How is it sad exactly?

I'm laughing at all the references to reliving their youth. I'm not reliving mine, just picking up where I left it!

Hi Jan I'm a little too familiar with the dance scene and there is nothing sad with it at all in your twenties and at a push early 30s but when you are still part of that scene in 40s?? Well that is sad in my opinion. Move on ffs. Leave the partying to the kids. Expand your horizons.

I know plenty who still do it and they are all going to get off their tits.

And yeah there is a lovely quiet side and maybe the ladz are going to be drinking a couple of shandies and heading for a quiet night in discussing chekov but it's pretty unlikely.

Spelling lads with a 'z' is worse

Let us know where you end up booking OP!

OMG, that's no doubt the most narrow minded view I've ever read on here. You can't enjoy dance music if you are older than 30 odd, nor can you party, it has to be left to the younger ones!

You clearly no feck all about dance music or Ibiza.

Who are you to give people a cut off date for doing something they enjoy? You can enjoy other things, my horizon is wide open, yours seems pretty narrow right now.

OMG, front page news, crowd of men going to Ibiza and yes, drinking alcohol!

You can dislike ot if ypu want but id be mighty pissed off if dh tried to stop me going on a hokiday with friend just because he didnt like it.

If it ate into necessary finances or annual leave, fine, but just because he didnt want me to go because he thinks its a daft idea? No. I will go thank you very much.

It's like when you were out clubbing and back at parties afterwards there were always the odd ecstacy taking gran(no doubt late 40s) balding dude snorting coke in the corner. I always just felt "ffs give it up grandma/grandpa".

I loved my partying days was great fun but eventually it gets old. The hangovers/come downs, and priorities change. Life becomes more than the weekend.

So now as well as being 'leering nobheads' they are druggies as well!

This thread is going bonkers!
Each to their own and all that!

And the z is for effect.

yes well it may be narrowminded but it's what all the cool kids are thinking.

Sad but true.

It's because half of us are ageing pillheads we don't know any better.