Trip to Ibiza with the lads ffs

[Bolloctothat72]

Yes I know, let him go don't be controlling, nothing wrong with it trust him blah blah blah. My bf is 45 trying to arrange a lads holiday while the World Cup is on, clubbing drinking whatever. I didn't particularly like this when I was in my 20s but I shut up and put up for the sake of the relationship. I now I'm divorced met someone else only a year but there's always texts amongst these lads about various trips, pre stag dos here, actual stag dos there. Now flipin Ibiza I can't cope with it. I want a man , not a lad reliving his youth that won't commit. I'm fine with lads nights out weekends away even with the lads, well don't particularly like them but I'll put up with it if it makes him happy, but what about my feelings. Am I allowed to not like it none of my friends husbands/partners do this why bloody me

I want to hang out with Poogate

I also want to hang out with Poogate!!!!

Pepperami

and at you too Jan45 !

^ acid face

Is someone insinuating that maleview is one of my 300 name changes ? That will give him a laugh if he sees it...

That's lovely, Poogate. But nothing to do with the premise of the OP. Now back to the crowd of blokes going to watch football and get pissed ... ?

Not sure if anyone will see this, but just saw dp he basically admitted he is spineless and that's how most blokes are, you can't say your not going cos you'd rather stay with your other half, so you have to say your going then come up with an excuse later? Anyone else heard of this ?

Yes, I've heard it. It tends to be something practiced by the younger, or should we confirm again the more immature members of our population.

Did you ask him why he is still doing at the age of 40+ ? I would say that is quite unusual (and rather pitiful)

Oof. That's bollocks isn't it.

No I don't think that's how most blokes are. I think that's how some people are and maybe it's just how it works in your DP's circle of friends.

Seems stupid though, just say you don't fancy it. Why not? Worrying about looking weak or something is also very immature, they're your friends, who cares.

I suppose I'd ask him some pointed questions about how far this spinelessness goes, if you're thinking long-term relationship potential. Like say you're ill and need some help, but he's arranged to meet some friends down the pub -- will he cancel, or will he be too spineless, worrying what they think? You want to know if you can count on him basically.

So, one of his mates decides he doesn't like you and tells your DP he should get rid. What then ?

Or, somebody dares him to jump off a motorway bridge ? Could be messy.

Ohh I dunno if I can be bothered with this shit, life is too short ! Still fancy the holiday and the hotel trip though lol !

Sounds like a double-bluff to me OP!
Enjoy the hotel trip regardless (and don't worry about Ibiza) x

Poogate you must be one of the 3 people I ever knew who loved house music but wasn't into the drug scene. Didn't get it then and don't get it now.

The reason a lot of older house music appreciators head to ibiza is because it's got decent dealers.

And I still think reliving your youth every year is pretty sad. There is a richness in finding new interests, broadens the mind and creates a more varied patchwork to look back on.

I think its part of this kidult heavily marketed culture. But then the same holiday destination for 22 years sounds equally banal especially when it's ibiza.

I'm 30 Rainbow, I'm not too old am I?
Seriously. I hope not

Tell him, that you are also going on holiday with your friends. Pick some really hot, single ones though!

Rainbow. The thing I have I found as I have got older is that I still enjoythe things of my youth ( rock gigs, theatre, mountain biking, travelling and art house cinema) and as I've got older my interest in them has never waned but now I have a lot more money to indulge. But I have also gained other intrests along the way. ( wakeboarding, skiing ) You don't have to sacrifice one for another.

This thread is hilarious and enlightening. Who knew it is an unspoken rule in life that once you hit 40 you must never dance again, and you're compelled to spend the rest of your life quaffing real ale and perusing seed catalogues .

I am happy for my DH to go on short breaks with his mates for his hobby/sport but not just for a piss up and if we can afford a longer trip well we can go somewhere together.

I occasionally go for spa and shopping weekend but I wouldn't go for a week in the sun say, without DH.

Rainbow still banging on about not being able to go to Ibiza and enjoy house music cos you're over a certain age, it's soooooo boring.

Rainbow, you've not been in that scene for years yet you know peeps go there specifically to target the dealers, you are so ignorant it's laughable.

Imagine enjoying a certain type of music without taking drugs, god, I must be seriously ill.

Margot: hahaha, love it.

Hey rave on Jan45, who says I haven't been around the scene for years???? The idea of going clubbing in my late 40s hahaha it seems ridiculous. But I was actually part of the scene when it happened, I wasnt part of the crew who turned up later having been told it was cool and ruined it all. It wasn't packaged and sold by the money and marketing men to me.

This whole bullshit pride that you still dance and party into your 50s. Why? just seems such a low bar to set.

And flip -you still riding your bmx down the park? Or watching the same arthouse film over and over. I plan to love reading till I can't see but I'm no reading stuff I read when I was 18. I plan to love music till I can't hear but I'm no still listening to the stones cos I got bored with them years ago. I've developed my musical taste and horizons.

I will always love travel but I'm not longing to return to koh pang yang for the full moon party ever although to be fair it was crap first time round. I wanna visit new countries/cities/towns. Experience all kinds of things.

But each to their own. Just as I genuinely couldn't give a rats arse what anyone thinks of me why should anyone care what I think. But I do think and I do judge and I think oldies partying may feel good on the inside but from the outside it just looks a bit sad.

Oh and whatev nah you can still get away with it. Reckon early 30s cut off though:) and you obviously wouldn't want to be breaking my arbitrary rules on life.

he basically admitted he is spineless and that's how most blokes are

I don't know any spineless men, so disagree with him. He's not someone you'd want in the Blitz is he?