Trip to Ibiza with the lads ffs

[Bolloctothat72]

Yes I know, let him go don't be controlling, nothing wrong with it trust him blah blah blah. My bf is 45 trying to arrange a lads holiday while the World Cup is on, clubbing drinking whatever. I didn't particularly like this when I was in my 20s but I shut up and put up for the sake of the relationship. I now I'm divorced met someone else only a year but there's always texts amongst these lads about various trips, pre stag dos here, actual stag dos there. Now flipin Ibiza I can't cope with it. I want a man , not a lad reliving his youth that won't commit. I'm fine with lads nights out weekends away even with the lads, well don't particularly like them but I'll put up with it if it makes him happy, but what about my feelings. Am I allowed to not like it none of my friends husbands/partners do this why bloody me

I am in my 40s. I'm going away this weekend for some sunshine with a friend. We intend to sunbathe, laugh, have a few drinks.

I am not reliving my youth. I am not on the pull. I am not pathetic or any of the other adjectives used to describe the OP's oh here. I love my BF and spending time with him. I'll miss him. But I am not joined at the hip.

I happen to love my friend, enjoy her company, and like to get away from all my responsibilities for 4 days.

If my bf tried to tell me not to go and I was pathetic for wanting to, he would get short shrift.

Oh and whatev nah you can still get away with it. Reckon early 30s cut off though:) and you obviously wouldn't want to be breaking my arbitrary rules on life.

FFS, if only there was an ignore button.....

Rainbow: I don't rave, I don't go clubbing, I dance and I like to party, oh no I forgot, at my age I should be hill walking and reading about plants.

PS: I also do a whole list of other activities but I aint going to tell you what, you might judge me lol.

PS: I'm not hitting 50, I'm 46 but yet again, I've missed the cut off for having fun, it being 30 odd....

This thread is hilarious! There is no cut off point if you like doing what you do! OP stop worrying if he is now spineless. So what we all have our weaknesses. And if he actually does want to go to Ibiza just go away together another time.

Jan can I express my solidarity with you? I am also 46. This weekend in Tenerife I intend to behave exactly as I bloody well want to, without caring one jot if some judgey whippersnapper thinks I'm too old. If that involves energetic dancing on at table on st Patricks night in an Irish bar in in appropriately high heels, then so be it! I couldn't give a stuff what anyone else thinks. For the record, my bf is the first one to hope I have a good time.

I also still love a lot of the things I lived when I was a teenager - watching my football team, dancing, reading, going to gigs, etc etc. I have new hobbies and interests too. I select none of them on the basis of my age.

BOP: I salute you lady, you're my kind of person, never did, and even more so now, give a fig what anyone thinks about me, as long as I'm not hurting anyone then nobody can pull me up for having a good time.

PS: Jealous, want to go to Tenerife this wknd.

Book a flight Jan - you can sleep in our bath!

Haha, no way, I'm far too sophisticated for a bath and in this instance, too old also!

Oh Rainbow, you do make me chuckle!

To answer your deliberately gouding questions because I've got a quiet min, don't be daft, if course I'm not riding a BMX in the park, that's because I never did in the 1st place. However what has changed is that I can afford to spend 4 grand on a bike now where as when I was 18 I had to make do with what I could afford. Funnily enough I do revisit some places. I regularly go to Chamonix. Just because it was great when I first went at 20 doesn't mean I have to dismiss at a been there done that. Its still a great place for biking, walking, climbing etc. Now I'm older I can afford to go there as well as loads of other places without having to pick one place or another.

As for music. Loved certain bands when I was a teenager still like them now but fuuny enough I am able to have head space to look out for, and enjoy new bands. I'm loving Treason Kings at the moment for example.
Same with films. Early Pedro Almodovar stuff are films I may watch again on a rainy Tuesday morning but I loved Nabraska, the Dallas Buyers Club and The Great Bucarest Hotel.

How my old brain can keep up I will never know!

Maybe I should have done drugs and rave in the late 80's early 90's. I would have had something to give up!

Rainbow what a bizarre outlook on life - you don't care what other people think about how you wish to liveyour life but you're quite happy to get sneery about how other people live theirs.

Just live and let live. It's got fuck all to do with you if forty somethings want to go dancing in Ibiza.

And how would the lad feel if you went on a girls' trip to Ibiza or wherever else would float your boat? Some women would not mind and be glad of some time on their own/having the DC to themselves. If you mind this much it could be time to call it a day.

Perhaps you need a more sophisticated beau.

Ugh. I used to work with a guy who planned secret vacations away with the lads, and told his wife he was away for work. He was a right scrote who resented his beautiful newborn daughter because he couldn't buy as many designer clothes for himself. And he used to tell me he was "waiting on an inheritance" from parents to buy a new house shudder

Felt so sorry for his wife, who was a stay at home mum.

Struggling, how is that comparable to the OP's oh? Clearly lying to your DP is unacceptable. Going away without them for the weekend is not.

Oh the irony margot.....

Oh the irony margot.....

So you see my point then flipchart. We're on agreement.

That would be in agreement. Blame it on the 90s:)

Rainbow doesn't mind her DH looking at tits and arses in soft focus a la 14 y/o boy but scorns the 40+ clubbers?

Oki dokie then.

I think that's a bit "saddo" but Im probably wrong.

I still occasionally dig out the skateboard and show Ds how it's done

Hahaha yeah I think my dh prefers less of the soft focus to be honest but I actually have no idea as I just don't want to be his porn monitor.

Not really getting the little 'irony' dig.

I couldn't give a shiny shite if people want get off their tits and go clubbing ten nights in row at the age of 20,30,40,50,60,70 whatever...I also give not a single toss if people want to stay in every night with their crochet and a Tunnocks Teacake at the age of 20,30,40,50....you get my drift.

It does get on my tripe when other people seem to be telling others what they deem to be an acceptable way to live their life. My comments to the OP were along the lines of 'What do you get out of being with him?' and 'I don't think he's what you want him to be' (a.k.a. Are you compatible?). Don't really see anything too sneery about those comments.

Margot I didn't understand most of rainbows posts tbh so I'll join you in the not giving a shiny shit corner!

Interesting report about female students' experiences of lad culture in higher education www.nus.org.uk/.../That's%20what%20she%20said%20full%20report%2

BOP

But margot you did say "rainbow what a bizarre outlook on life" which could quite reasonably be described as sneering in itself while at the same time rebuking me for sneering at someone else's outlook on life.

You seem to deem acceptable telling me that I should not be deeming age restrictions on partying like it's 1999 acceptable simply because you yourself don't give a shiny shite. As though the fact of you not giving a shiny shite should in itself end the matter from here on in.

As though, margot, your opinion on how life should be lived is, in itself, by virtue of you not giving a shiny shite, somehow superior to mine given that I do concern myself with the dancing and partying activity of those nearing 50 or heaven forbid having passed 50.

In the end, I hope we can at least agree that your way of viewing the world is in no way superior to mine, it is just different.