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Original poster

Wwyd - dp looking at beautiful women

266 replies

boomoohoo · 05/03/2014 16:32

By beautiful I mean that perfect, unattainable look. Soft porn style.

I am hurt and upset, and disappointed. He doesn't get it at all, and thinks him looking at them does not detract how he feels about me.

How would u feel?

I didn't think he was like this - I'm a feminist and thought he was too.

OP posts:
WhateverTrevor83 · 06/03/2014 21:27

What sort of site I mean not the web address!

AnyFucker · 06/03/2014 21:27

your choice, Blanche

why do you ask if you are a fool if you are content with your choice ?

Blanche65 · 06/03/2014 21:31

I try not to think about what my DH is watching as for years now ever time he watches it he puts in the extra effort in bed and I feel its a small price to pay. Am I a fool ?

Blanche65 · 06/03/2014 21:34

Its fully naked with the full exposure and more

Fairenuff · 06/03/2014 21:35

You seem ok with it Blanche. Are you?

morethanpotatoprints · 06/03/2014 21:36

I don't think there is anything wrong with what he is actually doing lots of men do and lots of women don't mind.

The main problem I have is that it is a problem for you and he should be prepared to stop because of this. Your feelings and well being should be his priority.

AnyFucker · 06/03/2014 21:36

Blanche, you seem to think your H's porn use enhances your sex life

that is your decision to make, not ours

WhateverTrevor83 · 06/03/2014 21:39

Is it immediately after he watches porn that you make love?
Does he need to watch it to, er, get an erection?
Are you involved and watch it with him...?

If he needs it to be able to perform and comes straight to you afterwards and you've been waiting then you're not a fool but you do deserve a medal for patience and understanding! Think that would do my head in tbh.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 06/03/2014 21:39

Oh dear Jesus!

I didn't realise it was wrong to expect your partner (you know the one person that is supposed to love you, nurture you, support you and all that jazz) to notice that you might be feeling vulnerable for whatever reason and respect that and have the decency to have an adult conversation with you where he/she can reassure you and talk through the issues.

I must run and tell DP he's doing it wrong! Hmm

However trivial or silly an issue might seem to others, if it bothers one partner in no relationship it is a problem. It needs to either be discussed and put to rest one way or another or those people need to not be in that relationship, it doesn't make someone wrong to stand up for what they feel strongly about and make the decision to leave over it.

It's neither controlling or hysterical to say to your partner "this is not ok and it is a deal breaker for me" they then have the option to decide what they're going to do.

Some of you remind me of a stereotypical, nasty school bully, laughing at someone what they feel something that you don't and belittling they're worries because you don't share them.

AF - you've been excellent through this, as always.
OP - I hope you come to a solution that you can be happy to live with, do what makes you comfortable and don't let other people sway your mind. Thanks

WhateverTrevor83 · 06/03/2014 21:40

PS they are very nosy questions I know of course don't answer if you don't want to but it's something to ask yourself x

AnyFucker · 06/03/2014 21:42

ooh, ta, tits Smile

Daddyofone · 06/03/2014 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

forumdonkey · 06/03/2014 21:43

Blanche why/how does he make you feel special after watching porn? Is it better and can he make love without it?

Blanche65 · 06/03/2014 21:43

I have never said this before but I have once looked at what my DH was looking at while he was at work and what did surprise me was I was attracted to the women and what they were doing and for that reason I have never looked again

AnyFucker · 06/03/2014 21:46

Blanche, love, do you get out of the house much ?

WhateverTrevor83 · 06/03/2014 21:47

Ooh! There's nothing wrong with that Blanche :-)
Maybe you could watch it together? If you wanted to and feel comfortable of course.

Blanche65 · 06/03/2014 21:48

It makes me feel special due to the passion I feel from him after he has been looking at that stuff

forumdonkey · 06/03/2014 21:48

Blanche is your DH open with his porn use?

Blanche65 · 06/03/2014 21:54

Oh I get out a lot and work with men all day and have been asked out loads as I get told all the time that I am a stunning woman but not once have I taken anyone up on going for a drink etc, maybe I should, Yes he is open about his porn watching too open sometimes I feel

WhateverTrevor83 · 06/03/2014 21:56

Eh? Go for a drink with the men from work?
I'm so confused...

AnyFucker · 06/03/2014 21:59

Trev, I think we are having our legs pulled Smile

Or summat pulled...

WhateverTrevor83 · 06/03/2014 22:00

Stunning Blanche you pesky minx Wink

Fairenuff · 06/03/2014 22:00

I think Blanche was hoping for an outraged outcry and that didn't happen so she's trying something else?

AnyFucker · 06/03/2014 22:03

heh

Blanche65 · 06/03/2014 22:04

I am not looking for a outcry or an argument just looking for a little help but I have either got this site wrong or I have expressed myself wrong