Wwyd - dp looking at beautiful women

[boomoohoo]

By beautiful I mean that perfect, unattainable look. Soft porn style.

I am hurt and upset, and disappointed. He doesn't get it at all, and thinks him looking at them does not detract how he feels about me.

How would u feel?

I didn't think he was like this - I'm a feminist and thought he was too.

Yes it is just an excuse. They're like f h m models.

I'm so so disappointed in him. I've lost a bit of respect for him.

He says he's going out. Won't say where or when he'll be back.

What an idiot.

So he has said he will carry on looking at porn. That's fine, he can do that if he wants, he is free to choose.

What you have to choose is whether you are going to just accept that and put up with it, or whether you are going to leave him. He thinks you should put up with it but you don't have to. It's your choice.

You can't control his actions but you can control yours. Now you know your options, what do you want to do?

If he isn't willing to give up his silly pictures then would you really want him around if the shit ever hit the fan?

Could he be understanding and sympathetic then?

Entitled is a word used a lot on here but he really does think he is entitled to keep viewing it. And he is correct; he can. Just not at the expense of your feelings. Not if he wants to stay in a relationship with you.

Notta I'm sorry your husband has the emotional maturity of a 15 y/o.
You too deserve a grown up.

Do you want this for your future? Are you happy overall?

It seems all very lonely

Great minds Fairenuff.

yours not mine!

it's his choice whether to make a big deal of looking at 18yo tits

it's your choice whether to be in a relationship with a man like this

(btw, I wouldn't consider the "soft porn" look to be "beautiful and perfect". I consider it to be tacky and plastic, but I guess it's a taste thing)

It's also not real. I have seen a fair few videos of how relatively "normal and natural" looking women can be photoshopped into totally unrealistic body shapes. These women do not exist so that makes him even sadder imho.

I think you're being a little oversensitive OP, and maybe everyone else is exaggerating the negative impact of his actions.

I think it's tacky, would hate it myself as a feminist and would certainly tell my husband I took issues with it if I saw it on search history. In fact, I'd hate it and feel disappointed too.

However, it doesn't mean he doesn't care about your feelings. It means he probably doesn't see the feminist issue. If you've explained to him how it's disappointing he would look at that and he chooses to continue, then agree to disagree. Is it really so bad that he needs stringing up as being entitled, immature, causing you loneliness...a tad absurd.

He's trying to justify it as art because he knows it's embarrassing and tacky. I imagine he will be more respectful of your feelings in future, but won't acknowledge this as warranting an argument so won't commit to not doing it again. Don't be too hard on him.

I imagine he will be more respectful of your feelings in future

Er, based on what, exactly...

All we know so far is that he likes to watch porn. He knows OP doesn't want him to but he's said he will continue to do it anyway.

Then he walked out refusing to say where he was going or when/if he was coming back.

So, not too respectful so far.

But, hey, OP just agree to disagree to keep the peace. You'd better settle for what he's offering because any man is better than no man at all dontcha know.

If he thinks it's art, tell him to wank to that instead. Then you're both happy. I think he'll struggle though! And realise it isn't the same.

Be right back, need a bit of relief so whipped some Monet out....

You should read The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf to understand why these things affect us.

Fairchild, my point is give him the benefit of the doubt. Too many people hate on men in these forums. He's looking at soft porn...crap, I know, but not illegal not the abuse of the century. I don't think this warrants the assumptions being leapt to here.

I also think it's silly to suggest I'm implying any man is better than no man.

I am offering rational advice to someone who loves her partner without the dump him brigade encouraging rash decisions.

He's looking at soft porn...crap, I know, but not illegal not the abuse of the century

Who has said it is illegal? Who has said it is the abuse of the century?

Who is making assumptions here.

OP has been told that he can choose to look at porn if he wants and she can choose to put up with it or leave.

You think she should put up with it. Others thinks she would be better off leaving.

It's all down to individual boundaries. OP must make up her own mind about where her boundaries lie.

Also, I have been known to overreact when my husband is annoyed with me and sulk off. Doesn't mean I don't love him more than anything or don't have respect for his feelings. It's just how I react to being 'told off' as it were. I would let him cool off and see what happens when he gets back.

Anybody that tells a woman she doesn't have to tolerate something a man does if she doesn't wish to is a fully paid-up member of the "dump him brigade"

Where do I sign ?

I agree fairenuff...you were the one questioning my response initially.

I didn't say that's what anyone said, was attempting to put it in perspective as I said many people shout ' dump him' on this site imo.

Let's you and I agree to disagree without unnecessarily tearing our comments apart.

People on this site are ridiculous sometimes. Stepping off from all this.

Bye then.

"People on this site are ridiculous sometimes."

Enough about you...what about me?

I think I would be more upset about the soft porn than the hardcore stuff. I think because soft core is wanking over that woman as opposed to hardcore where it's the actual sex act itself. I know weird ,lol ,but that's just me.

Let's you and I agree to disagree without unnecessarily tearing our comments apart.

So now you want me to stfu? Sorry, I make my own mind up about things like what I want to think and say.

His reaction warrants a 'he's being an entitled prick' response, if I'm honest.

I'm not of the 'dump him brigade' usually, but if I was with someone who behaved in this manner, his arse would be raw red having skidded on the pavement I'd just slung him on.

Anyone who won't discuss why the person they love is upset, or walks away from such a discussion, is a twit.

Question when is soft porn, soft porn?
Is very arty pictures of pretty unnamed Russian naked women porn, but Kate Moss naked mearly a bit naughty?

Can I google naked tennis players, some of whom are very nice.

The naked human form has appeared in art through out the ages. There are moulds of nude female torsos as part of the A level art display at the the DDs school.

Where is the line between art and porn? Between an actress or a model looking unattainablly beautiful as part of their job and crossing the line into being deliberatly sexy.

Is deliberatly sexy wrong? Pop stars dont think so.

What offends one person doesn't bother another.

Men are visual creatures, they are a

I guess it all depends what you google.