Wwyd - dp looking at beautiful women

[boomoohoo]

By beautiful I mean that perfect, unattainable look. Soft porn style.

I am hurt and upset, and disappointed. He doesn't get it at all, and thinks him looking at them does not detract how he feels about me.

How would u feel?

I didn't think he was like this - I'm a feminist and thought he was too.

op glad your sorting it.

There are some jokers on this thread.

blanche dear, if your real.. Your dh ain't shagging you after watching porn. In his mind he will be screwing the poor girl with her flange hanging out on the screen.

Rainbow - stop telling OP to concentrate on her own self esteem OK! She doesn't like it

Why are you trying to control what he looks at. I would run for the hills if my oh decided to stop me looking at calendars of fireman or any damn thing I choose to look at. I am an adult I can decide for myself Thanks.

Snap!

Boo there is clearly nothing wrong with your self esteem

I realise that I am deeply insecure of how I look, which is where the pain lies.

Well if you said 'really?Id never though to the naked form as art before' and then started googling soft porn images of men..would he care then? or would he have a question as to why you're looking at naked blokes? I wonder

Men looking at women doesn't bother me. Never has. It would bother me though, if I felt uncomfortable about something and felt it impacted on me/our relationship and my OH dismissed my feelings about it and didnt even want to discuss. Thats not on.

Allowing your opinions and feelings to be ignored and disregarded, even blatantly trampled on, simply because someone else has a different view to you would be a sign of low self esteem. It would show that you thought that other person's opinion should be valued more than your own.

Speaking out for yourself, saying I'm not comfortable with this, making your own decisions on where your boundaries lie and enforcing them, is a sign of good self esteem. How others respond to that is up to them. It is not controlling or passive aggressive to simply say 'This is not for me' and take appropriate action.

Body image is not the bee all and end all as some people seem to think. There is a lot more to self esteem and how you react to others will be much more telling than your own private thoughts.

OP has voiced her concerns to her partner. When he tried to ignore them she spoke out again. Nothing wrong with self esteem in that situation.

Er Hello....... Men do this... they are visual. Why do women get so upset when their blokes look at naked/beautiful/trashy women? All they are doing is feeding a fantasy which most of us ladies do in our head when we are having a play, right?!

Perhaps you ought to read the thread jacques, you're going over old ground now.

I did. "And he promised not to look at them anymore."

And the band played believe it if you like;)

You will meet someone much better -- chin up and move on. He's tawdry.

Haven't read the whole thread but suffice to say I don't believe any man can be a feminist, indeed when one claims to be watch out!

Why monkeynuts?