Work wife?

[Strugglinghere]

I've just been out with my dh for dinner with one of his colleagues and her dh. She tells me she is his 'work wife'. Would this piss you off?

I've heard work wife/work husband used by police officers and ambulance drivers. Is this the sort of job your DH does?

Due to the nature of the job, they would probably spend as much if not more 'quality' time with their work DH/DW than their spouse.

Yy, Ilkley, that's how my colleague meant it - we were always on busy projects together and he did see me more than his wife often!

Yes I had a work husband. Our relationship was the same as Cyclebump describes above. We worked very closely for a number of years, he was my best work friend and we'd go out for lunch etc but there was also a lot of banter / snippyness on occasion as we did spend so much time together. This led to others referring to us as husband and wife.

When he went through some tricky times he sometimes ended up in my spare room but would go out with my husband for a pint whilst I had an early night (quite pregnant at that time). My husband really liked him too and didn't feel uncomfortable with the relationship.

I think unless you have a reason not to trust your husband then don't worry about it. Sounds harmless to me.

It's a common enough term and has been around for a while.

It wouldn't bother me, but that's by the by, if it bothers me.

Try not to be too upset though - it is a common term, and doesn't really mean anything. It doesn't necessarily mean that she actually thinks she is virtually married to him, or anything.

My DH referred to my boss as my work husband this week, meaning that when we disagree about something then I generally get my own way

I wouldn't be concerned about it at all unless there were other indications that there was an issue.

Op?

Back to the OP I must admit I'd find this presumptuous on my partner's colleague's part.

Yes, both terms (work wife, work husband) are used where I work too - it is never used to imply that the two people are having an affair, that's not the point at all. Equally, I don't think she should have introduced herself that way, it's a bit pushy. If your DH had used the term with you, or if he had introduced you to her that way, fair enough. But it's a bit presumptuous to use it with the actual spouse I think!

She was probably, ironically, just trying to suggest that you and she have that in common and trying to use it as a means of bonding with you. In hindsight, perhaps inappropriate... But I would never have considered it so til I saw this thread

I have had people refer to one of my colleagues as my 'work husband' - as previous posters have said it is just reference to the fact that we work closely together and I get him out of shit frequently and have done so for years now.

However not sure DH would be impressed if my colleague referred to himself in that way in DH's presence as the OP said. That does sound a bit like she was marking her territory

Just out of interest, what was her DH's reaction to her comment?

I would probably have said"I haven't heard that term before, what do you mean by that?"
Instinctively I would feel a bit uncomfortable about it but considering her dh was there I can't imagine it meant inappropriate.

I worked in a company in the City in the mid 90's when people joked about work wives and husbands - my then dh worked in the same company but had a work wife who was not me as we didn't work together. I decided I would rather have a toy boy than a work husband so my young make line manger was referred to as that . It was a small company and friendly jokey atmosphere. I'm still in touch with my 'toy boy' and he came over with his gorgeous young sons a couple of years ago.

I think it's perfectly innocent so don't worry. If it wasn't innocent she would have never said anything. I now work in a different sector where I've never heard the term used and I know people would be and to hear it - so context is all really.

i've only heard it used more about a personal assistant/secretarial role - someone said it to me the other day about his PA because she does things like schedule lunch reminders in his diary. i think HelenHen could be right that she was actually trying to bond with you.

It's naff.

Where's the op?

I'm a work wife...it generally entails reminding him to do stuff, doing it myself as he'll still forget despite reminders, reviewing what he has done if he does happen to remember (and obviously tweeking it to my satisfaction lol)...and we agree/ disagree in equal amounts. His DW happens to work in same company and was the first to refer to me as his WW after witnessing one of our 'tiffs' ...

I'd say the woman was just joking with you. For a start she's married, you went out to dinner with her and her husband. She and your husband work together and are friends so i guess it's just an affectionate name. My husband works with a lot of girls, some of them really pretty and he is friends with them but he would never cheat on me with any of them i know. I also have a male friend who iv'e known for 17 years, we met when we used to work together. There has never been anything in it, purely platonic, i don't fancy him in the slightest. I'm married but i see my friend on a regular basis. He comes over to our house every other week when my husband and children are here. For a number of years now we have refered to each other as 'Babs', an affectionate name we have for each other. I think you are worrying over nothing. Having said that, i would keep a close eye, but then i would say that as i can be the jealous type.

We had a work spouses where I used to work. It was a running joke-just meant someone you could call up to help you out on urgent matters and who had the same style and approach-it was a big team. I had a work wife (am female). we also had the occasional lunch. Actually, the 2 affairs that happened at work did not happen between 'spouses'. I would think that the use of the term was actually an indication she was not interested, rather than the opposite.

We use work wife and work husband at work as paramedics , please not Ambulance drivers, that is derogatory . It generally denotes the amount of bickering like an old married couple, or finishing each others sentences and anticipating what we need on jobs, definitely nothing sexual, frequently not even the same sexual orientation or even opposite genders.

LordP, the OP got back and posted at half midnight last night - it's only half eight now!

Well, I have 2 work wives and 2 work husbands - no idea what that makes me .

I'd never ever in a million years use that phrase though - creepy, poor taste and just ridiculous IMO.

I agree with other posters, how much offence is required in response to this remark depends largely on how intact your own relationship is.

NCI "It generally denotes the amount of bickering like an old married couple, or finishing each others sentences and anticipating what we need on jobs, definitely nothing sexual, frequently not even the same sexual orientation or even opposite genders."

You see, I would match that description with "colleague" or "close colleague".

It's pretty normal office vocabulary everywhere I've worked and has no deeper meaning.

You see in our environment it's said as part of a very lighthearted exchange, it's interchangeable with crew mate although that would probably be used more if you hadn't been working together long and hadn't yet developed that sort of close working relationship that inevitably develops with time.
Have to say I've never heard it used in an office environment though.

I've heard this, even men referring other men as their "work wife". It's a bit daft to mention it to someone who isn't in on the joke though.