The Dating game - welcome all daters to the DATING THREAD 70!!!

[girliefriend]

Thought it was my turn to start the thread!!

softkitty I'm up early too as DS has decided to play with his Fireman Sam truck
Honestly - I've come to realise that if you're going to 'scare someone off' by sending a text like that (or asking basic normal questions about the status of a relationship) then he's going to be scared off anyway. If that makes sense. I think you have nothing to lose and laying your cards on the table might be the best thing to do..

How does the talk about being exclusive usually get brought up and when? 6 dates in but haven't talked about it - future plans mentioned though. He wants me to meet his parents for sunday lunch ....... Is it early for that?

How long have you been seeing him softkitty?

Can I ask some advice? I know I pop in and out, I just don't know what to do here. I have forgotten how to play it cool...

I matched a guy on tinder, he messaged back, we chatted a bit and he asked if he could what'sapp me the next day. He waited until the afternoon (which was fine!) and then didn't respond to me until this morning. Followed with a hope you have a good day gorgeous..

So do I ignore him? Or..?

I'm back for my update- he actually showed up! And we had a nice time! He was easy to talk to, we had a few drinks then went to his and watched films snuggled under a blanket but didn't really watch them but the thing is, I couldn't see myself in a relationship with him, but then again I don't want a relationship full stop. Not that it's really an issue yet!

I didn't post for a week and now I have lost track! But Jarlin, it all seems really good with this guy. What are you unsure about? He must have a lot on his plate with his mum etc.

Flora, how old are you and how old is he? The guy I am seeing is 4 years younger than me, which I initially thought was too young. Still not sure how it would work longer term, but it's totally fine for now.

LittleMouse - a vigorous DS up at 630 playing with trucks sounds VERY familiar! The Scot was over last night for delayed pancake day and we didn't go to bed until about 2 then DS was up at 6 shouting at his trucks and I had a disturbed night sleep inbetween that. Not feeling too clever and got loads of work to do (though clearly on mumsnet and doing none of it!).

Softkitty - I dunno if it's a huge deal if someone is online - as you said, YOU are online on POF and tinder. I think until you have said you aren't seeing other people, people do window shop - as much out of boredom as anything.

Oldfashionedgirl, we had the exclusive chat last night - I just asked him if he was planning on seeing other people and he said no, that he didn't want to, and that was that. As we met at a wedding, we have friends in common (he was the housemate of my friend's husband) so I do trust him.

TheCrow, that sounds nice! Don't overthink it I think. I still feel panicky at the thought of a relationship, but I am enjoying whatever I currently have with the scot.

Queenandkingmum - maybe respond, see how he is - sounds a bit flighty, but people can be busy etc.

I am now 6 dates in with the scot and things are good - felt a bit unsure last night but no idea why. I think it's just my commitment phobia making its presence felt! It is hard to see how it can evolve - he is a 34 year old guy and has been chatting about festivals and holidays - that bit of my life is so much different now with DS. Anyway, seeing him saturday - we are going to take DS out in the day somewhere then go out when he is in bed if my babysitter ever gets back to me!

Oh, I was also lurking a bit and read your posts FolkGirl - I am glad things are looking good again with your guy. Hope it all goes well when you meet.

I replied, apparently the message he sent last night didn't go through. I'm not really looking for heavy, just chatting for now. He's a 36 year old widow, restores cars for a living. He's interesting if nothing else!

Polly, cool that things are exclusive, he sounds lovely. Mutual friends are a bonus!

Posting on my phone, will go back and read through!

Ooh, car restorer QueenandKing? That does sound interesting.
Well, we will see re the scot - I know he is a lovely guy etc, but you know, feels like a long way from being my boyfriend!!

He is a car man, teaches racing as well. He lived in LA for a while (I'm American), he does sound interesting to at least chat to!

My last bf was 34, and despite him having children was living a much more party/drinking lifestyle than me. I am more aware of maturity this time around! I hope yours is a good one Polly

Morning all, you lot have been busy. Re men being on popping up as on line I think especially POF can keen you logged in. I get a little peeved when I see Md ScotAcc on there but I have absolutely know right to feel that way as I am talking to quite a few men and worried I might get confused .
crow sounds like fun

I think it does keep you as online.. Are things serious with him blossom?

queen only 4th date but he has a job that works horrible shifts and takes a lot of time looking after his daughter, think every Saturday and Sunday, so it seems we only see each other once a week, To this is not really enough so keeping options open. I have tried to arrange mid week but just not happened, so am pulling back and seeing other people.

We were dating for about 6 weeks Hansel. I know it's not long but I liked him so much. Really thought it could work.

I haven't sent him the text.

Hi soft but is he stringing you along, you are keeping options open ( good job in my opinion) Maybe he feels like you do, in my experience men can be quite rubbish and communicating about feelings. Do you want to exclusive with him?

Hey thread! Not had a lot of opportunity to get on recently with internet connection being down at the only times I had to myself. Just been reading and catching up this morning though and thought I'd pop in and say hi.

Santa all sounds good with Bricky! I empathise completely with the ''just waiting for the catch'' feeling, exactly where I am with Niceguy too. Sounds like you have lots of lovely feelings going on

Jarlin sorry it must feel like things are just in a holding pattern? Regardless of the other things happening in SB's life I still think it was very rude of him to not reply to your questions, especially when you had opened up to his, but I understand why you felt you couldn't push it when you saw him and probably would have done the same. It sounds like you have a sensible head on about it.

Folkgirl sorry to read what you've been going through.... you do come across as being very strong about the whole thing though

Crow last night sounds promising! Blanket-snuggles on date 1! So what are we calling him?

My little update....things still going very very well with me and Niceguy. He met some of my family when I was spending time with them this weekend and everyone got on very well, it felt quite natural for him to be there. He also cooked for me for the first time last night....let's just say I very much appreciated all the effort he went to! I am quite foodie (and a bit of a control freak in the kitchen in the way I do things) and he really isn't, so I did my best to not meddle or criticise and like I said really appreciated the effort he made for me. It's the thought that counts right . Lovely night in the pub after the dinner also. So, we're 6 weeks in to this fledgling relationship now and I'm starting to relax a little, have a little less paranoia and think maybe, this could be something really special. It's still scary, but in a good way.

I'd like to be exclusive with him Blossom but don't think he feels the same, otherwise he would be in touch and want to go out, wouldn't he?

I dunno soft I just don't get it either, annoying isn;t it. I think you just need to try and keep cool, if it becomes to much for you then you need to forget about him. MrScotAcc need to show more effort or I might just get snapped up by someone who can rebothered. That's it really.
onday sound really fab with niceguy, I am talking to someone with a similar name, let's hope he turns out to be as good as yours.

soft I feel a little out of the loop with MCS, but looking back, you'd been dating for 6 weeks and now he's just chit-chatting rubbish texts with you? How many times have you seen each other, have you been to each other's places, dtd etc?

I think if I've been seeing someone that long, however slow it had been taken, I'd be expecting them to show that they wanted to see me again. You are the prize remember. If you don't want to just give up, then maybe ask him if he wants to meet up again? If it's a crap reply, then you have your answer.

Oneday, nice guy sounds lovely. I like it when they cook for you.

Soft, do you feel comfortable asking him to clarify what he thinks? I think after 6 weeks I would expect to have that conversation.

Car guy seems quite dull. Only couple days of texting/chatting but it's all general despite me asking direct questions. How do I extract myself from this nicely?

Hi can I join the gang please?I've been old since December,just chatting so far to various guys who either vanished or went really creepy on me.
I am on tinder too and have had 14 matches but only one message which led to a conversation,fine then when I didn't fancy meeting up for a quick shag he disappeared too,so my question is,do you usually start the conversations?I'm getting really disheartened now with it all.
I am really enjoying these threads too,just been a bit of a lurker as I don't feel I could give much advice.

Hi chair I personally think it is fine to contact a man first, not sure everyone agrees with me. lol. I think that way you are picking people you like to look of, if they don't reply well nothing lost. Yes and lots of weirdos, delete !!!!

Thanks Blossom,I have contacted a few on pof,a few replies then vanished but my skin is getting thicker now and I am deleting happily.

Yes I thick skin is essential, I don't reply to all messages just not enough time. If I am messaging and they stop replying, I ignore and move on. It is strange I know when you are chatting and messaging and they are saying all the right things and then bang they disappear, ho hum. Have you met anyone chair

Hello, all I joined on thread number...can't remember now but a couple of months ago. I stopped the OD for a while. I am trying to catch up with all your news, so much going on.

Folk you seem very strong and together to me, I think you are doing the right thing. Let him have his say, listen and then I think you are in a position to state your terms to him, he should be sorry, you deserve honesty.

SoftKitty is this the cofffee shop man? Did you DTD? (sorry, no don't answer just something to think about) its been several weeks and whilst he should be ok with waiting, I think some of these men just think they can get it quicker elsewhere. There is this whole double standard where we are supposed to wait whilst they don't want to.

I have had a few OK dates with OK men who I haven't wanted to see again. For the most part, I just don't find them attractive. I met one guy who was a very smooth operator...and yeah I fell for it, but hell I had fun. He put me on the back foot with some weird shit about his attitude to relationships but as of yesterday I seem to have regained both my composure and my head about it. He's now messaging and I intend to keep him guessing. It won't develop into anything serious but its fun at the moment.

OldFashionedGirl I don't know how you go about the exclusive chat. I guess I would just state my case and watch and hear their response. I would just say, "I like you, I am not going to see other people until I have made my mind up about you" keep it light and see what the reaction is.