The Dating game - welcome all daters to the DATING THREAD 70!!!

[girliefriend]

Thought it was my turn to start the thread!!

Thanks folk we shall see .. could be a disaster like the rest ;) Glad you seem much more upbeat and that you are meeting your guy.

Folk yes loved and cherished totally forgotten how that feels.
I have resisted the urge to text him today, so will see what happens. If he he txts will happily see him on Friday but unless he makes more of an effort then will keep talking to whoever it will be his loss as I actually like him alot.

Hi ladies
Just dropping by to catch up...am with DD looking at uni's today so am on phone but will log on later. Need advice re MrTraindriver. Very different from anyone I've ever met & don't know what to make of it...

Sounds interesting scorned...

Blossom without sounding all 'woe is me', I've never felt loved and cherished. Every single one of my relationships has been unpleasant but I just thought that's what they were like.

When I was younger and spoke to my mother about it she just used to say, "well i don't know what you expect. That's life". She never once suggested I ended a relationship because, to her, being single is the greatest failure a woman can endure. So to avoid that, you just put up with any old crap.

Thanks dippin. I'm beginning to wonder though. I mean given the weekend and how sick it said it made him feel and how he wanted to make me feel happy and loved... I think I might have expected a bit more effort/communication...

We tried talking on the phone but we both hate doing it, so that didn't work! But there's nothing to stop him emailing or texting...

There's just no sense that I'm on his mind at all. Which kind of makes me wonder who is...

Hello everyone - I'm new to this thread but not new to dating or online dating. I did a LOT of online dating before my last serious relationship but when that broke up I was in the process of setting up my own business so didn't have any time for it until now. I'm feeling a bit disillusioned with it all. I loved every minute of if when I first started (I was 27 then) but now I'm 32 and I'm wondering if it will take another 90 or so men and 300 or so dates before I find someone else that seems compatible. Only to find a year into our relationship that he has some problems that would make a long term relationship very hard. Need some light hearted and funny dating chat to get me re-motivated!

Folk Not woe is me at all, I could write a book about my mother. Last year I had the courage to end a 20 year relationship because he was really terrible to me, I should of ended it years ago but clung on , My mother knew what he was like but still comes out with gems like oh blossom you are unlikely to find someone because all men are only after younger woman, oh I could go on. But this OLD has proved that there are many interested men out there.
oh and welcome isleep

When I met my now exh online .. I met alot of guys before meeting him .. I was online on and off for a yr . It takes time.

folk if you both hate talking on the phone then you both can't say or do too much more until you meet. Writing an email , things can be interpreted differently. Texts and emails are difficult for explaining feelings properly.

Blossom You're doing the right thing waiting for MrSA to get in touch with you about Friday. I hope he does but in the meantime, keep messaging the new potentials!

Folk I've never been loved and cherished either. I often think it'll never happen to me but I try to have hope. I love the way you delete his phone number and I'm tempted to do that with MCS. I haven't text him since Sunday though, but the temptation is always there.

Welcome isleep. OD is very taxing in lots of ways and I often wonder if you can ever really know someone else. It's very supportive here though.

Thanks soft I have a couple of guys I am chatting with, very different to what I would normally go for but no harm in mixing it up. I think the key with this is to keep a bit of an open mind, it is really hard to know some by a simple profile and a few messages. I am not going to raise my hopes and try to be a bit more patient ( not one of my best qualities) lol

Hmm still not going great for me, had a lot of messages/chats which have ended in propositions which is doing my head in. Chatted with someone for ages yesterday, only for it to end in asking me to filth it up etc. My innate Britishness keeps coming out as I'm bit cheesed off.

Asking me if I wear crotchless pjs is a bit much (do these actually exist!)...

hansel how long have you been on your own for? I totally get what you are saying about living on your own/doing your own thing. I often wonder if I would ever be tolerant enough now to share my space. It's been just me & the kids for nearly seven years now & we are so happy that way!
folk you are being really sensible - i feel the same way. You need to feel like they are making an equal effort & that it isn't all you. I'm glad the counselling seems to be helping
blossom Sorry you had such a crap day yesterday. I'm glad you're feeling a bit more upbeat tonight. It's a tricky one with MrSA because the longer you see him for, the greater the potential for getting hurt, even if you try to keep feelings in check. As regards your mum, let's just say we have much in common
hansel the 'treacle mountain' comment resonates too...
dippin & sponge - fingers crossed for both of you.

isleep - Hello! You're certainly in the right place for some light-hearted & amusing chat!

Now ladies, I need some perspective here. I met MrTD last night. We'd been chatting on Tinder, then over the phone. He's late forties (like me) never been married ( been engaged though) & has no kids. Financially clearly has his head screwed on, close to his siblings & mum, good steady job and clearly not daft as he has had a very demanding, technical job in the past.
He's a perfect gent, opened doors for me, perfectly mannered, complimentary ( not OTT) and very easy-going. Physically, pretty much my ideal ( nice & tall, quite fit).

However.... lovely as he is, he is honest to the point of almost being too honest (if that makes sense). Has told me from the outset that he is looking for a proper relationship, not a leg-over. He told me he found me very attractive and asked me at the end of the date if I liked him & whether I would see him again. He said he didn't like playing games. He always texts, phones when he says he will etc etc. So what's wrong with that? On paper, he should be perfect. Part of me thinks that for some ridiculous reason, I like a challenge. I enjoy the chase.... and it's almost like he is making it too easy for me and there is this little voice in my head telling me to panic. What's wrong with me? He says he wants to get to know me & for us to spend time together.

The other thing is that my XH was in the same industry as me ( finance) and all my previous BF's have been similar. Why does it bother me that he isn't? I know it shouldn't. Please don't shout at me for being a snob - I know it's ridiculous. I need to be told it is.

Then on my way home I drove past MrVanMans house & that pang of sadness washed over me. Someone slap me please !

Sorry, that was a long ramble......

crotchless pjs what an idiot. I like a bit if dirty talk but this does not belong in the first convo.Delete!

I felt guilty the first time closing the chat window and hitting hide, it's happened a good few times now so I've gone past the guilt!

I have been messaging someone for a few days who appears relatively normal, this is a bit weird to bring up but he doesn't drink at all. I'm not 100% I could date someone who doesn't enjoy a friday wine with me or a bbq beer. Only just noticed - perhaps thinking it through too much.

Crotchless PJ's? I'd say no thanks, too draughty for early March

It's amazing how you can be chatting away to someone who seems so - er- 'normal' & then they come out with something like that!

I've often thought us ladies should all go & live on an island on our own!

Rose...I don't drink but my friends would say I'm the fun one when we go out. I'm happy with a juice or a coffee.

Scorned....I think he sounds lovely. Stick with it. I know what you mean about jobs....my ex DP is an accountant and Mr4 is a builder. However, I've gotten over that as I realise I'm not materialistic and I'm sure you're not either. I think your guy sounds like what we are all looking for. Let us know how it goes.

Coming up to five years on my own scorned did have a brief 'thing' in that time but I didn't have feelings for him so stopped seeing him. I'm happy living with just me and the kids but I do miss the companionship of a relationship, having a special someone in my life to do things with etc. It's just seems lots of occasions passing without someone, Christmasses, holidays, birthdays etc, times when it would be nice to have a partner...but I'm not happy to settle so have just carried on on my own, for me, being with the wrong one can be lonelier than being on your own so I'm quite ok with carrying on like this until if and when the 'one' comes a knocking.

Urgh to guys wanting to talk dirty before you've even got to arranging a date, it's a big no no and speaks volumes about them. There are decent guys out there though, just these sleazebags do seem to infest the OD world, easy for them to hide behind a screen.

Still texting with Mr Lunch, he is very nice but there is no rapport there, the texts are very dry and I must admit I've do leave long gaps between replying, partly as I'm not 'feeling it' and also I'm really unsure if I like him, but he is decent, genuine etc, I think I need to see him one more time to really make my mind up but I feel quite flat at the moment

blossom like my own situation at the moment, I think you may just need to go out with him again and see how you feel after that. You might find the things you find offputting now fade as you get to like him better, he certainly sounds like a good guy from what you've said.

Can I ask how soon people arrange to meet up, do you think its good to chat on the phone first or just do a meet up

This is a great thread:)

rose I wouldn't normally just text/chat for too long - as somebody pointed out the other day, the danger is that you build up this mental ideal which means the actual person is more likely to be a disappointment. I usually give it a couple of weeks. I love this thread too

I just tend to meet them but then I'm not a big chatting on the phone type of person. Do whatever you prefer.

Thanks for the support.

He's emailed this evening - just the usual "thinking of you" type of email. And yes, it's right, if neither of us like talking on the phone, in person is best because it's too easy to misunderstand email/text They really are only good for simple communication unless you know someone really well, I think.

I've finally finished decorating my bedroom. It looks lovely in there. Just a couple of last minute finishing touches to do, but the majority of it is there now.

I'd like him to start staying over at mine if things work out ok. There's so much more to do where I live and it's a much nicer area.

I get obsessive about checking emails/texts so not being able to text him has removed some of the draw to that.

Love this thread and just about getting my head round who's who!
Definite urghh to the blokes that seem quite decent then booom! Start getting filthy out of nowhere... So annoying.
I have a date on Friday night, met on tinder & been chatting by text for over a week now. He is flirty, very funny (I need funny), confident & pretty hot in his pics... I am not entirely convinced he isn't a bit of a player though - we'll see.
I have also got another man that wants to meet who I've actually been chatting to on & off since December, he just seems a bit sensible and dry... I'm worried he will be a bit dull IRL but I guess you don't know til you actually meet. X

Welcome newbies to the thread.
Well... a productive night on pof for moi! I think I've got a date.....nice guy who ticks my boxes. He seems to be very sweet and hasn't had any relations since he split in summer 2012, and says he now feels definitely ready. So I don't need to worry about newly separated and not ready or similar! He's 6 years younger but seems more mature...do you think that's ok?

Jarlin I think from what you say it sounds positive, especially the bit about going away for your birthday . Maybe you could have the chat then?

I had a nightmare and woke up early (hence being on MN at this time ), and for some reason I decided to look on Uniform Dating because I know MCS had a profile on there that he said had expired and he hadn't been on since last year. Well he's on there and it says he was online recently. I'm devastated tbh, which is ridiculous as I've also been on POF and Tinder this week. I just don't know what to do. Do I just accept it's over and forget him? Or should I text and lay my cards on the table, sort of say 'look I really like you and want to keep dating but don't want to be strung along if that's not what you want' kind of text. I kind of feel like I'm in a place where I have nothing to lose, I guess, but realise that doing that could scare him off and mean it's the end, for good. Help!