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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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In a long affair....please don't read if this will cause you upset/anger.

641 replies

alltoomuchnow · 16/02/2014 14:28

Namechanged. I'm married with 2 children and I've been having an affair for over 6 years now. Something has literally "gone" in my mind and I can't take it any longer. I love OM very much but I know that we'll never be together. As time continues to go by I know that my feelings for him will get stronger. I need to end it all or accept that this is how it will be. I'm not asking for sympathy - I know I've done something very wrong and that I'll be hated on here. But I am human, I have feelings and I don't know how to cope any more. Has anyone been here and has felt this desperate....

OP posts:
jojoanna · 19/02/2014 19:45

agreed lazyjane

Fairenuff · 19/02/2014 19:50

Does the fact that the OP does not live up to your personal moral standards justify victimising her when she is desperate and looking for ways to do better?

Cheating is not a matter of 'personal moral standards' is it. No-one, not one single person on this thread, has said that her cheating for six years is ok.

Other relationships are fine, provided that both parties are aware and agreeable to them. Lying and deceiving is immoral, by anyone's standards.

Mouseface · 19/02/2014 22:38

Here here Fairenuff!!!

ChapterThree · 20/02/2014 00:14

OP, the only way you are going to get out of this self-made mess is if you feel strong enough to pull yourself out. You need to work on your self-esteem and self-image. You are NOT ruined or without hope. There is life after this.

The OM is giving you something, what is it? Attention? Affection? Relief from boredom? Whatever it is, you MUST find it somewhere else. You may have to fake it at first.

You may also have to consider that you shouldn't be married to your husband. That is a valid choice.

What makes you happy? What do you do on a daily basis that brings you joy? Focus on the little things, things that bring you into the present and stop your mind working a million miles an hour. Stay busy and stay distracted.

Ask your OM to stop contacting you, just for a week. Make it through a week. You can do it.

ItIsAnIdeasGame · 20/02/2014 08:50

People who, in RL, have long term affairs are not particularly judged for it. At least, certainly not with the passion on this board. It often comes under the MYOB attitude.

OP get the strength together to leave the OM and concentrate on your marriage. You've had some very lucky years of not being found out, take that life saver and sort out your life.

ScarletWomanoftheVillage · 20/02/2014 10:38

Hi OP, if you're still reading. Sorry to hear you've lost and are grieving for someone dear to you. Perhaps you should let the dust settle on your feelings about this death before you start trying to tackle this monumental issue. A friend once told me: "never make an important decision from a position of weakness, get strong first"

LittleTurtle · 20/02/2014 15:18

Hi OP, hope you are still reading.

Been reading your thread, but got lost somewhere in the mud slinging, so hope I don't give you too much advise of what you already got. I assume you are looking for more damage control than anything at this stage. More like, "what would you do if you were in the same situation?"

  1. I would not tell my children. Don't know why so many people involve kids in this. This is an adult issue to be dealt with by adults. Your children have never seen you as a Sexual being and that should remain so for a long time. You are the mom who provides and cares, end of. Since you kept your affair under wraps for so long, it's unlikely they will hear it from someone else because it's not general knowledge. Why shatter that dream for them.
  1. I would not tell H either. Will talk about him later, but if he really has no knowledge of the issue, why shatter his view of you as the perfect wife? What he does not know won't hurt him. This will just pass as a phase in your life that may as well enhance your marriage if you let it.
  1. I would break it off with OM. Because he is a distraction to what bothers you about your marriage. You cannot see clearly what is going on with this third party involved. As Chapter3 said, what is it that he provided? Try to pinpoint it.

You are in love, so it will be hard to break it off, why don't you say you are breaking off for a long time, to come back together later instead of permanently breaking up , say 6 years (like the affair), and see what happens? That means that, in a few years you use the energy you used to hide your shenanigans to now concentrate on your marriage.

Could you make DH your illicit encounter? A dead giveaway, but how about you meet DH for a lunchtime shag when kids are at school? A meetup at the local, a lunchtime hotel meet up sometimes. You may decide to just hug and spoons instead of going the whole way at fist. I have a feeling he will not care about your giveaway at this point. Spontaneous dates etc. Most likely your affair will seem like a distant past that you wonder how it was.

Then I have a slight problem with everyone viewing you DH as the little, helpless victim in all this. It's been 6 years. Love is careless, there will have been some near misses there, like the feeling of communicating with your lover - stolen, awarkwark emails and txts, the need to see each other etc. In six years they should have happened, if you are so in love. Your DH and his W would have felt somekind of 'instinct', but may never have pursued it because for her, it would have been scary to divorce with young kids etc.

But your husband is the provider, from what I hear you are the housewife. For him, I see a lot of reasons which are :
a) He does not mind being cuckolded, but never told you and likes the situation of hidden.
b) He does not want to rock the boat of the family life as it all looks fine.
c) He actually has his own affair(s) to hide and this situation suits him just fine, only you did not see cause you were so pre-occupied with hiding your own things.
d) He really absolutely has no idea what is happening.

Everyone seems to assume D. Not that sure myself.

If 6 years down the line you are still pining after each other and if you then meet and things seem like you just left them where they were and continue like nothing ever happened? You are both toast.

Mouseface · 20/02/2014 18:28

LittleTurtle - I actually find myself nodding along as I read your post. You've summed up all of the advice in the thread of use and put it into one post. :)

MultipleMama · 20/02/2014 20:28

LittleTurtle Maybe because option D is what everyone wants to believe. My friend found out his DW was having an affair when she came clean because she was pregnant by OM, and my friend would have got suspicious as the dates wouldn't match. She'd been having an affair for 8 1/2 years. All that and only 1 mistake. She lost most of her friends, including me and she lost her DH and their 2 kids. He was absolutely clueless. He had no idea what was going on, they were happy - according to him.

However everything else you've said, I agree with, and perfectly summed it up on one thread. :)

eeetheygrowupsofast · 20/02/2014 20:39

I feel you're saying the husband is or could be colluding in the deception and denial, Little Turtle, to be honest. I'm sure OP likes to tell herself that too when the guilt gets too much. 'Oh he probably knows and can live with it or is having his own secret affair...etc'.

Mouseface · 21/02/2014 11:22

"He had no idea what was going on, they were happy - according to him"

And THAT is the most devastating thing in a marriage/relationship, when the other partner is having an affair or long term relationship with someone else Sad

The aftermath, the fall out, and the utter destruction caused when the affair/relationship ends, is so damaging to so many people.

MultipleMama · 21/02/2014 11:43

That was a year ago and my friend is still picking up the pieces and his DC still don't totally understand why daddy isn't their sister's daddy too. Their 10yo, who is really smart, doesn't understand why her mummy wanted a baby with another man instead of daddy. And their DS felt abandoned when she moved out and had her other baby. He's 6yo. - He had a paternity test to see if 6yo was his - he is.

The fallout is always the last thing on a cheater's mind, IMO. They care more about getting found out or having to end it with OM/W, than what chaos their affair could potentially cause.

Mouseface · 21/02/2014 12:13

It's so very sad, MultipleM Sad

mammadiggingdeep · 21/02/2014 14:02

Cannot believe this thread is still going. Bonsoir is still calling people bullied for saying it how it is. Op is still missing in action. No ground gained since earlier in the week...

DioneTheDiabolist · 21/02/2014 15:52

Bonsoir hasn't been on the thread for two days now.

Theconstantlygardening · 23/02/2014 08:15

HarryStyles
I don't know if you will read this now, but I'm with Bonsoir on this more than you.

Your posts do come over as bullying. You appear to think you can predict the future for the OP. In fact all you are doing is relating your own feelings and experience.

FWIW, in RL I know of at least 2 families where one parent has had an affair ( long term) and the teenage children have chosen to stay with that parent when the other parent has left the family home- or they have stayed together, patched things up, at least until the children were older.

Your view or personal experience is just one of the possible outcomes and it's unfair and perhaps bullying to post something which slates the OP and predicts an outcome, based purely on your own views.

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